Why Have a Relationship If You Have to Censor Yourself?
I have a friend who knows nothing about his wife.
That’s not entirely fair. He knows she has a great smile. He knows she’s close to her mom. He knows she’s inquisitive and laughs at all his jokes.
- Fear and Insecurity in Relationships, Relationships
But he doesn’t know anything about her past relationships. He has little knowledge about her first husband, no clue about her former sexual partners, and only a partial picture of what led her to become the woman she is today.
To be fair, SHE doesn’t know anything about HIS previous relationships either. That’s their agreement – “we don’t talk about the past”- and, for 10 years, they’ve largely stuck to it.
I don’t get this at all.
As much as I respect everyone’s right to make her own choices – and I’m not so arrogant to think my marital dynamic is the only way to be happy – this level of secrecy within marriage would seem to create a weaker relationship.
Let’s take a step back to ask an unusual question: How do people get close?
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