Have You Been Used for Sex

If you’re following me on social media (and if you’re not, you should!), you can hear the excitement in my videos. Not only am I writing again, but women are reading.

Over 500 women have subscribed to Lovesplaining since last week’s launch, which is both validating and humbling. I take my responsibility to you seriously and I always want to overdeliver. To that end, I’ve decided to give you even more quality content each week.

Today, we begin with a Link That Made Me Think, in which every week I’ll share a new article about dating and relationships that I think is worth your time.

So, please, turn your attention to “Here Come the Female Andrew Tates” by Kat Rosenfield.

Years ago, when I was blogging, I found myself in the crosshairs of two very different groups of trolls: women on the far left and men on the far right.

Ready for Lasting Love?
Ready for Lasting Love?

The women on the far left uncharitably thought I was a sexist who wanted women to smile, look pretty, and return to the 1950s. The criticism bounced off me because it was so far from the truth as to be unrecognizable.

The men on the far right uncharitably thought I was a “white knight,” pumping up the self-esteem of successful middle-aged women because everyone knows college-educated American women are too bitter, masculine, and probably past their sell-by date. This, too, is patently ridiculous.

In the midst of this, I wrote an article about the toxicity of these guys and got some useful feedback. (Did you know the word “mangina” was an insult akin to the popular word “cuck?” Now, you do!)

Years later, I haven’t spent any time in the feminist blogosphere, nor did I do a deep dive into what happened to the MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) movement. (Is the Ukraine conflict hurting their mail-order bride prospects?)

But just when I thought I was out, they pulled me back in! Witness the rise of Andrew Tate – a name I didn’t know until earlier this year.


Tate’s got 7.7 million followers on the app formerly known as Twitter, just for being a handsome former Big Brother contestant who promotes an “ultra-masculine, ultra-luxurious lifestyle.” It all sounds innocent (if somewhat douchey) until you consider that Tate’s also been charged with rape, suspected of human trafficking, and was forming an organized crime group designed to exploit women. So there’s that.

I didn’t think I had anything to say about this until I read Kat Rosenfield’s article about the rise of women who are, for lack of a better term, anti-Tates. Instead of men exploiting women for sex and discarding them, this movement is about women exploiting men for money and discarding them.

Um, progress?

Click here to learn my thoughts about this 21st century phenomenon – and how it can inform how you approach dating, relationships and men.