The Trick to Confidence in Dating Is…

It’s normal to want people to like you.

God knows, when I was dating, I could get consumed with it.

I remember meeting one such woman on JDate back in 2002. She was getting her doctorate at UCLA. She wrote long emails that dazzled me with their wit.

I remember talking to her on the phone and tingling with excitement.

I had finally met my match – the woman who could inspire me to new heights, put me in my place, and challenge me to be a better person.

I remember telling my roommate about her, showing him her profile, and recapping our conversations. What epic conversations! They lasted for hours and were teasers of the banter we would enjoy for the rest of our lives.

In my excitement and vulnerability, I confessed on the phone that I was excited to meet her. She knew. Of course, she knew!

Our first date was at a local bar with stiff drinks and loud music.

She wore something black and low cut. We slid in at opposite sides of the booth, separated by only a lone votive candle. She was as sexy as her photos indicated.

We talked for a good hour, downing a couple of drinks. I marveled at how impressive she was. She seemed to have it all together, while I, a struggling screenwriter, wasn’t close to being as effortlessly confident as she was.

At the end of the night, I picked up the check and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

I emailed the next day to tell her I had fun.

I called her the day after.

And emailed the day after that.

You already know the rest: she wasn’t that into me.

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