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“About five years ago, I met Sara at a Memorial Day barbecue and we began going out. We had fun together – I wasn’t sure it was anything that was heading towards marriage, but I had a good time with her. She must have felt the same way too, because a few weeks into our dating, she said, ‘You know, you’re a great guy, and at the risk of sounding totally weird, I think you would really hit it off with my sister, Kathy.’ Even though the rejection stung a little, I said I was up for meeting her sister. Good thing I did – Sara was the maid of honor when Kathy and I got married.”
Do you have an experience where a break-up turned out to be a good thing, perhaps even the best thing that came out of that relationship? Share them with our readers, and comment on what others have to say. To find out more or to order Finding the One Online, click here.
Honey says
Well, Lance and I would never have started our website if we hadn’t dated and broken up. We were acquaintances a long time before that, but not super close friends until afterwards.
Honey´s last blog post…Good News Follows Good News: Or, LinkedIn Works!?
Selena says
The only thing positive I can think of about my breakups is that I am grateful they happened BEFORE we got married rather than after.
Curly Girl says
In the past I have almost always felt terrific relief upon breaking up and the silver lining was getting my life back and getting into shape again. The relationships that don’t work for me are the ones where I have to spend a lot of time with the guy doing things that aren’t my preference and eating and drinking in ways that I wouldn’t normally. It all comes down to not working out as much, eating at restaurants too much, and drinking more than suits.
Exception: When the LTR ended it was very painful and I gained weight when we broke up. He was a careful eater and we both needed lots of time for our work so it was easy to be with him. Being with him is how I found out what works for me in relationship. I guess that’s a silver lining right there! No regrets.
Summation: Silver linings for me are 1) getting my time back, and 2) getting my personal habits back.
Leah says
The best thing that happened after we broke up — we stayed friends. We dated for a year and a half, he got me a job working with him, while we were dating. And no that isn’t why we broke up. Different views on money was and still is. He is my dearest friend…the big brother I never had.
Jennifer says
My break up silver linings are right in line with Selena’s and Curly Girl’s- breaking up before getting myself into a more permanent situation (ie., marriage and kids) and getting a clearer view on what I do and don’t like in relationships and what I do and don’t want in a guy.
Mikko Kemppe says
I think we are just learning to understand that it truly is possible to love someone, yet to realize we are not the right ones to share the rest of our life together.
I have definitely gone through my own share of painful break-ups and although sometimes it has been hard to see the silver lining, every time I have honestly search for it I have always found it.
I am happy to say that without all of the break-ups I would not be the person that I am today. Each break-up has helped me grow tremendously as a person and the lessons that I have learned from them have been invaluable to me.
Learning to remember all of my ex’s with love has been very healing and like Jennifer said has guided me also to know more about my-self and what I want in life.
Mikko Kemppe´s last blog post…Do Men Just Want Sex? Should My Decision Be To Wait Or Not To Wait?
Curly Girl says
Other possible silver linings: you don’t have to pay the other person’s bills, you don’t have to be “sexless” anymore, you don’t have to wonder if he’d like you if you were fat, you can go back to being your weird over-40 single self, and you can sue for not finding love online!
Joe says
LOL @ Curly Girl. Nice!
Hat Pines says
It is better than not having a relationship at all.
When I was eighteen, I did not have a girlfriend.
When I was nineteen, I did not have a girlfriend.
when I was twenty, I did not have a girlfriend
When I was twenty-one, I did not have a girlfriend
When I was twenty-two, I did not have a girlfriend
When I was twenty-three, I did not have a girlfriend
When I have twenty-four, I did not have a girlfriend.
When I was twenty-five, I did not have a girlfriend.
When I was twenty-six, I did not have a girlfriend
When I was twenty-seven, I did not have a girlfriend.
When I was twenty-eight, I did not have a girlfriend
When I was twenty-nine, I did not have a girlfriend
When I was thirty, I did not have a girlfriend.
This has never happened to any other person in the world except me. So be grateful if you have had a break-up, ’cause at least you had someone just like everyone else except me did.
Jennifer says
@Hat Pines #9- You paint a pretty bleak picture. Did you have any relationships with anyone at all (hook-up, friend, close family?) Maybe you should hire Evan as your coach.
starthrower68 says
I was involved with someone for about a year; I’m not going to go into all the details or criticize him because heaven knows I was not at a good place in my life when we were together. We managed to become friends and his current gf is one of my closest friends. But she has more patience with him than I would have now. I could not have stayed in a relationship with him. It would’ve taken way more than I would have been willing to give it.
Hat Pines says
I am a virgin- the untermensch of untermensch .
Karl R says
Hat Pines said: (#12)
“I am a virgin- the untermensch of untermensch.”
Having sex isn’t that much of an accomplishment.
If you’re having problems getting laid, lower your standards. If you’re still having problems getting laid, lower your standards even further. You probably won’t feel any better about yourself after you get laid, but at least you’ll have dispelled yourself of the ridiculous idea that getting laid is a meaningful accomplishment.
If you want to accomplish something difficult, voluntarily choose to remain a virgin. That takes … well … more willpower than I have.
Hat Pines said: (#9)
“When I was eighteen […] When I was thirty, I did not have a girlfriend.”
“This has never happened to any other person in the world except me.”
You sound very self absorbed. What makes you think you’re that special? Not only has the same thing happened to numerous other people, I can name a couple off the top of my head.
You have a severe lack of confidence. You think very little of yourself. And those traits interfere with your ability to have a relationship.
The one thing that makes you an untermensch is your belief that it’s true.