I invite you to think of the last time you were emotionally invested in a man.
It could have been a promising prospect you met online, it could have been your boyfriend of five months, it could have been your fiancé.
The common denominator is that this man, who took your breath away and gave you hope, ultimately left you.
Because you weren’t the one who ended things, your feelings remained as strong after you were dumped as they were before you were dumped.
I know how it feels. Most people do. You stake your dreams on the integrity of your relationship, only to find out that he had eyes for someone else, that he had major issues with you, or that he wasn’t ready to commit to you.
This can be devastating. It can make you mistrustful. It can make you lose faith. It can stop you from dating entirely.
But the hardest part is how, far too often, you never quite get over him.
Because you weren’t the one who ended things, your feelings remained as strong after you were dumped as they were before you were dumped. It makes perfect sense. He might have broken up with you, but that doesn’t mean you love him any less.
This exact scenario happened recently with my client, Wanda, who was still recovering from a short relationship with a man she met on JDate.
They had gotten physical after 5 dates, took down their profiles, and gave an exclusive relationship a shot. Two and a half months later, he broke things off. Said he wasn’t feeling what he thought he should be feeling. Said it wasn’t her fault. Said he wanted to remain friends.
So Wanda has remained friends with her ex – and has remained in love with him as well.