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dating coach for smart, strong, successful women Evan Marc Katz
This is going to be such a bizarre question and I’m not sure if it’s blog-worthy or even answerable, but here goes: In your honest and knowledgeable opinion, what do you make of a guy who’s grossed out by his own semen?

Let me elaborate…

I dated a guy earlier this year who was a virgin like me, and we started getting physical on the fourth date. Since we were both 23 year old virgins who weren’t ready to take the plunge into full-on intercourse (and still hadn’t by the time he dumped me), our sexual activities were pretty much limited to kissing, dry humping, and manual stimulation. Not everyone’s fancy, but hey, it seemed to work for us.

But every time I’d give him a hand job, he’d insist on wearing a condom. I went with it because hey, it can be a little icky and a pain in the butt to clean up, so whatever. It’s his thing. So there was one night when we’re together and he got caught up in the heat of the moment and he chose to go without one, and when he crossed the finish line it went all over his underwear and my pajama pants. I didn’t find it to be a very big deal and was prepared to just wipe up the mess and wash the pants when I got home the next day. He, on the other hand, was up and out of bed within a minute of finishing and insisted that I strip my pants off and put on a pair of his. He acted like we were cleaning up a crime scene!

I’ve recounted this story to my male friends and they all find it bizarre. I mean, he was fine with touching me when my uterus went through its monthly ritual of spewing blood and dead tissue out of my clownhole, but his own man-milk was something he couldn’t take. What’s up with that?

Thanks for your insight, and please accept my apology for the graphic nature of my question.

Aly

It’s so rare to get a letter that uses the phrases “dry humping,” “crime scene” and “clownhole” that I’m hesitating to even write a reply. You are easily the funniest virgin I know. (The only one, but still…)

Before I turn this over to our readers, I would have to say that when you write a blog, you realize that nothing is too bizarre. People are freaks.

I’ve gone out with a woman who stopped at a grocery store to buy whipped cream before checking us into a motel on our first date.

I’ve gone out with multiple women who wanted me to choke them when having sex.

I’ve gone out with a woman who was so germophobic that she asked me to take a shot of vodka before kissing her to kill the bacteria in my mouth.

Even though there may be nothing “wrong” with him, I would suggest that there are plenty of guys who have a more comfortable relationship with their own semen.

That last one is reminiscent of your guy, Aly. And I’m caught somewhere between “give him a break” and “kick him to the curb”.

The “give him a break” side feels that he’s a 23-year-old virgin, which means that he’s inexperienced and quite possibly religious. If he hasn’t masturbated much, doesn’t watch porn, and isn’t accustomed to the sight of his own bodily fluids, then I can theoretically see why he’d be freaked out. His behavior is odd, but benign. He probably doesn’t realize he’s acting weird or killing your intimacy after climax. His rushed crime scene clean-up is therefore a crime of ignorance, not malice.

Then again, it sure is weird.

And even though there may be nothing “wrong” with him, I would suggest that there are plenty of guys who have a more comfortable relationship with their own semen.

Unless you’re particularly invested in teaching this boy to act like a man, I’d choose one of them instead.

Your respectful cum-related thoughts are appreciated below.