(Video) Do Men Owe Women An Apology?



A friend of mine posted this video on her Facebook page the other day. I watched it from beginning to end and wasn’t sure what to think.

On one hand, the clip is filled with heartwarming, earnest sentiments. Truly, if the world were filled with more men like this, dating would be a breeze.

On the other hand, is this really how we want our men to sound? Which is to say, very much like women…

Personally, I dig the message and agree that men can become a whole lot better at relating to women. I’m just not sure that I would really enjoy hanging out with these kinds of guys myself.

I’d love to hear your thoughts. Do you like sensitive, spiritual, new age guys?

Join our conversation (88 Comments).
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  1. 1

    This video with all these apologies to women, assumes only women have been abused. Any women who has not been able to overcome hurt in her life from a man or anyone would find this sentiment attractive.

    I know this is a self help website for women but what about men who have been hurt or abused by women either as a child or an adult?

    I think men and women are Loved & Hurt equally in relationships.

    This is how we grow. So Forgive, Live, Love and know that once you reach a certain age, no one can do anything too you without your permission, that is the basis of all relationships.

  2. 2

    It is not my intention to be sarcastic or offensive.    This youtube reminded me of videos of the forced confessions of American POWs during the Vietnam War.   A lot of ideological catch phrases mixed in with   broken men apologizing for being who and what they are.     In this case, the speakers were apologizing for being men and being masculine.
    In my opinion that   may win them the platonic friendships of the students in the local Women’s Studies class, but it is less likely to win these kinds of men girlfriends or win them a sense of fulfillment in their lives.
    The syrup spoken in this video may feel temporarily gratifying to women who just got a snootfull of disrespect, but like Evan who isn’t sure if he would want to be friends with these men,   I don’t think many women would find the personalities of these men attractive.         Self hatred or self non-acceptance is a real turn off.
    These guys need to learn to distinguish the difference between respecting women   and internalizing a lot of man hating flotsam.
    I know it is unlikely for a person to read an entire book that opposes their views, but I recommend “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Dr. Robert Glover to anyone who thinks men should think 24/7 like the guys in this video.

  3. 3

    I don’t get it. I really don’t understand the point. At all.
    If their goal is for a future ideology of “worhsiping the divine in each other”….fine, okay, if that’s what you’re into….

    But no, I do not think that men as a gender need to apologize to women as a gender in order for the above to take place.
    That’s ridiculous. I believe in individuals.
    If someone has wronged another, apologize to that person.

    I don’t believe men as a  group owe me any apologies or special treatment for anything that an individual man may have done to me in my past and I don’t want to be raised up as some divine, spiritual being deserving of worship by men who have come to recognize thier feminine side. I personally found the video bizarre.

    I love the differences in men and women and think we should celebrate and respect them and treat each other with integrity. Period.

  4. 4

    Can you imagine the forward movement the world would take if every, single person acknowledged the thoughts, feelings and emotions in this video.

    I, personally, am moved to tears because of this video and have big hopes for more movement in this direction.

    As for being attracted to men who speak in this manner (however you want to label it) I am not sure as I have never encountered a man, such as this, in my dating endeavors.   I feel open to it.

  5. 5

    I loved it!   Nobody’s perfect and there may never be a perfect synchronization of the sexes but  this is an acknowledgement that it could be better, that it should be better.  

    Now it is time for a similar apology from women to men because we are not faultless!

  6. 6


    These men are thoughtful, loving, STRONG, CAPABLE, responsible, sexy, trustworthy, selfless, humble, fearless, other-centred, intuitive, authoritative, reliable, and understanding.


  7. 7
    Theresa H

    on one hand – I appreciated the overall sentiment and on some level found it quite reassuring that men could be so thoughtful / articulate as there is still a little warped part of me that worries that “all men are bastards”….the whole presentation of the video was a little creepy though…..as if there was some sublimnal message designed to brainwash us and its been put out there by a cult…the music didnt help

  8. 8

    In theory, this video was great.
    However, I don’t know any men who act, think or sound like this at all. And I surmise that a few actors were paid to say these words…
    I appreciate the sentiment, but I know wonderful men who think highly of women and treat them very well who would never express themselves this way. They are masculine men who appreciate feminine energy but aren’t trying to co-opt feminine energy. They believe in respecting women simply because they are good men who are secure in themselves.
    Also, I have dated a few men who seem to say the right things and fit into this uber-sensitive, evolved man role. They ultimately turned out to be the most narcissistic, self-absorbed people I ever met, and their supposed appreciation and respect for women was almost nil. They just were playing the new-age sensitive man role, but they were as jerky as the macho, boorish guys… if not worse.

  9. 9

    I personally like the message(Mutual) respect for each other in a spiritual context, but not the presentation. Kind of cultish and weird

  10. 10

    I still don’t get why men should have to apologize for being a man or why a woman should have to apologize for being a woman. I’ll apologize to someone, man, or woman  if I screw up and wrong them. As a woman, I feel no need to apologize for my entire gender and to accept that these men feel I need this from  them makes me feel  icky. Like I’m a justified man-hater that needs to be coaxed back into their loving care.

    The rest of their message, -let’s come together and work together to be the best we can be, yada, yada –  is all well and good.

    But personally,  the New Age, sensitive, touchy-feely man is a turn off. Give me  a man’s man: The Marlboro man –  minus the cigarettes, LOL.  

  11. 11

    Loved it and have respect for the men who made it. Doubt if any of these fine men live this way or talk this way all of the time, but am proud of them for making this video. However, in my opinion, they are not the ones who owe the apology, but the rats that actually do those things are! And yes, have to agree, some women should also make one! As for dating a man like that, you bet I would! In fact, there were a couple in the video you can send my way.

  12. 12

    A little “new-agey” goes a long way with me, I don’t seek it out. I don’t want to be apologized to by men I don’t know. I’d like to hear a couple ex’s of mine apologize to me for their previous “dirty deeds” though. Ha!

  13. 13

    I am all for men behaving with integrity and character but this smacks of some sort of new age further emasculation of men.  

  14. 14


    I’m sorry that I am being unfair here:   honestly I couldn’t get past the first 10 seconds.   I turned it off.   I was creeped out.

    So, to answer your question…..No, I don’t want to hang out with guys like these.


  15. 15

    A bit hokey, and overly warm n’ fuzzy in presentation, but if you think about all the ways that women have been, and continue to be, abused and subjugated by men (domestic violence, rape, genital mutilation, to name but a few), wouldn’t it be great if more men did embrace these sentiments?

    On a personal level, I’m not into new-agey stuff, but I do appreciate men who can convey sensitivity. Especially the hot ones.

  16. 16

    Very interesting!   Definitely new age in it’s personna.   I value sensitive and spiritual men!   However, I also value Judeo/Christian values and them integrated into the sensitive and God centered: not just in a male I am pursuing a relationship with but also in my female friends.   I find the video intriguing, and beguiling in that it is a very humanistic, anhimistic approach to forgiveness and cleansing.

  17. 17

    Yes, about time. I think it’s amazing.

  18. 18

    @Gem #10
    I think you about nailed it.   I worked in a hippy-dippy place during college.   I got to know a few men who wore the “feminist-sensitive-man” label on their sleeves.   In general they didn’t have any guys as friends, were a bit self loathing, passive aggressive, often weren’t successful with women, but when they were guys who got dates it was because they were using the “feminist-sensitive-man” as their shtick to get women into bed.
    @starthrower68 #13
    You wrote in two lines what I took a few paragraphs to try to say.   Ditto!

  19. 19

    Definitely felt creeped out by the presentation, not going to lie. The men were reasonably physically attractive and the words resonated in different places, but the robotic delivery didn’t carry the sincerity or warmth I would need to take it seriously.
    In one place, I pictured a really tough looking marine delivering the same overall message of loving women and respecting the gift of femininity but with his own words and style. Definite improvement.

  20. 20

    I do not want to waste time saying the obvious, that men and women should be equal partners and so on. Of course. But men and women are different in many ways, some wonderful and complementary ways, and we should celebrate the male and female nature. Unfortunately, society has ravaged the notion of manhood and feminized men, and women will reap the rewards of that with so-called “men” like these. I strongly encourage anyone who cares about this sort of thing and is raising children to read an older but outstanding book “The War Against Boys”

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