Do Men Have It Easier? Ask a Transgender Man

transgender man looking at the mirror

In the never-ending gender wars that take place in the media (and on blogs), I think it’s important to continue to gather more information and listen to different voices.

As a reader, your perspective is largely limited by your own gender and experience.

As a dating coach, I listen to both perspectives each day and can perhaps see a broader and more balanced view, yet I’m certain I have blind spots as well.

Which is why I found this Washington Post article so fascinating. It references interviews with four transgender men who used to be women. All of us who try to guess or project what it’s like to understand the opposite sex can’t hold a candle to these folks who have actually experienced what it’s like to be a member of both genders.

So, without further ado, here are some of the surprising takeaways:

Alex, a 26-year-old Asian: “People now assume I have logic, advice and  seniority. They look at me and assume I know the answer, even when I don’t. I’ve been in meetings where everyone else in the room was a woman and more senior, yet I still got asked, “Alex, what do you think? We thought you would know.” I was at an all-team meeting with 40 people, and I was recognized by name for my team’s accomplishments. Whereas next to me, there was another successful team led by a woman, but she was never mentioned by name. I went up to her afterward and said, “Wow, that was not cool; your team actually did more than my team.” The stark difference made me feel uncomfortable and brought back feelings of when I had been in the same boat and not been given credit for my work.

When people thought I was a woman, they often gave me vague or roundabout answers when I asked a question. I’ve even had someone tell me, “If you just Googled it, you would know.” But now that I’m  read as a man, I’ve found people give me direct and clear answers, even if it means they have to do some research on their own before getting back to me.”

Trystan, a 50-year old African-American: “There are also ways in which men deal with sexism and gender oppression that I was not aware of when I was walking around in a female body. A couple of years after my transition, I had a grad student I’d been mentoring. She started coming on to me, stalking me, sending me emails and texts. My adviser and the dean – both women – laughed it off. It went on for the better part of a year, and that was the year that I was going up for tenure. It was a very scary time. I felt very worried that if the student felt I was not returning her attention,  she would claim that I had assaulted her. I felt like as a guy, I was not taken seriously. I had experienced harassment as a female person at another university and they had reacted immediately, sending a police escort with me to and from campus. I felt like if I had still been in my old body I would have gotten a lot more support.”

“Being a black man has changed the way I move in the world. I used to walk quickly or run to catch a bus. Now I walk at a slower pace, and if I’m late I don’t dare rush. I am hyper-aware of making sudden or abrupt movements, especially in airports, train stations and  other public places. I avoid engaging with unfamiliar white folks, especially white women. If they catch my eye, white women usually clutch their purses and cross the street. While I love urban aesthetics, I stopped wearing hoodies and traded my baggy jeans, oversized jerseys and colorful skullcaps for closefitting jeans, khakis and  sweaters. These changes blunt assumptions that I’m going to snatch purses or merchandise, or jump the subway turnstile. The less visible I am, the better my chances of surviving.”

The hormones made me more impatient. I had lots of female friends and one of the qualities they loved about me was that I was a great listener.

Chris, a 49-year-old Caucasian: “The hormones made me more impatient. I had lots of female friends and one of the qualities they loved about me was that I was a great listener. After being on testosterone, they informed me that my listening skills weren’t what they used to be. Here’s an example: I’m driving with one of my best friends, Beth, and I ask her “Is your sister meeting us for dinner?” Ten minutes later she’s still talking and I still have no idea if her sister is coming. So finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, and I snapped and said,  “IS SHE COMING OR NOT?”  And Beth was like, “You know, you used to like hearing all the backstory and how I’d get around to the answer. A lot of us have noticed you’ve become very impatient lately and we think it’s that damn testosterone!” It’s definitely true that some male behavior is governed by hormones. Instead of listening to a woman’s problem and being empathetic and nodding along, I would do the stereotypical guy thing – interrupt and provide a solution to cut the conversation short and move on. I’m trying to be better about this.”

Zander, a 52-year-old Caucasian: “Prior to my transition, I was an outspoken radical feminist. I spoke up often, loudly and with confidence. I was encouraged to speak up. I was given awards for my efforts, literally – it was like, “Oh, yeah, speak up, speak out.” When I speak up now, I am often given the direct or indirect message that I am “mansplaining,” “taking up too much space” or “asserting my white male heterosexual privilege.” Never mind that I am a first-generation Mexican American, a transsexual man, and married to the same woman I was with prior to my transition.

I find the assertion that I am now unable to speak out on issues I find important offensive and I refuse to allow anyone to silence me. My ability to empathize has grown exponentially  because I now factor men into my thinking and feeling about situations. Prior to my transition, I rarely considered how men experienced life or what they thought, wanted or liked about their lives. I have learned so much about the lives of men through my friendships with men, reading books and articles by and for men and through the men I serve as a licensed clinical social worker.”

“I do notice that some women do expect me to acquiesce or concede to them more now: Let them speak first, let them board the bus first, let them sit down first, and so on. I also notice that in public spaces men are more collegial with me, which they express through verbal and nonverbal messages: head lifting when passing me on the sidewalk and using terms like “brother” and “boss man” to acknowledge me. As a former lesbian feminist, I was put off by the way that some women want to be treated by me, now that I am a man, because it violates a foundational belief I carry, which is that women are fully capable human beings who do not need men to acquiesce or concede to them…”

“What continues to strike me is the significant reduction in friendliness and kindness now extended to me in public spaces. It now feels as though I am on my own: No one, outside of family and close friends, is paying any attention to my well-being.”

Out of all of that, which were the most powerful insights for you? Your thoughts, as always, are appreciated.

Join our conversation (22 Comments).
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  1. 1
    No Name To Give

    That becoming something else doesn’t solve all of our problems. It just brings a set of new problems. The grass may be greener elsewhere, but we’ll have to mow that grass too.

  2. 2

    Prior to my transition, I rarely considered how men experienced life or what they thought, wanted or liked about their lives.”

    I find that hard to believe… my understanding with transgenders are that they feel they were “born in the wrong body”. It would seem that in living as a woman, they would constantly think about how life could   be as a man.

    That could be my own close-minded point of view, as I have always felt comfortable being a woman, and am not close with any transgenders. However, I do find this article very fascinating. If by some magic I could live as a man for a week, I would try it, just to satisfy my curiosity. I think gender differences are interesting and definitely here to stay. Thanks for sharing the article, Evan.

    1. 2.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      “Thinking” about how life could be as a man is different than the rest of the world TREATING you as a man. Empathy, while necessary, only goes so far. Which is why there are limits to what I can understand about being a woman, even though my entire life is centered around listening to women, understanding their needs and helping them get what they want out of love. There’s no substitute for walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. And that’s important to recognize. It explains why “white privilege” evokes so many negative reactions from people who don’t feel privileged. It’s because they haven’t considered what it’s like to be, say, a black woman.

      1. 2.1.1
        Vanessa Duke

        Very good points, thank you for your response. I hadn’t thought about it that way.

      2. 2.1.2
        Susan Nercher

        Evan, you typed: “It explains why “white privilege” evokes so many negative reactions from people who don’t feel privileged. It’s because they haven’t considered what it’s like to be, say, a black woman.”

        “White privilege” evokes so many negative reactions because it is a myth. Is there such a thing as “Jewish privilege”? Despite being a minority, Jews dominate many professions and aren’t as likely to be arrested by the police. Jews make up a small percentage of the population and yet many food companies offer kosher products. By the way, Jews participated in the African slave trade.

        Is there such a thing as “Asian privilege”? Asians now have incomes that are larger than the incomes of whites and are more likely to obtain degrees as well as less likely to be arrested.

        Countries with the most slaves today: North Korea, Eritrea, Burundi, Central African Republic, Pakistan.

        Is there such a thing as “female privilege”? Women live longer and are more likely to obtain college degrees in addition to receiving alimony and child support – not to mention the fact that they are less likely to be arrested.

        And what about affirmative action programs? How many of them are designed exclusively for whites? The suicide rate among whites is high and whites are more likely to be killed by the police.

        Maybe people do need to consider what it’s like to be a poor white person where the media and society don’t really care about you and blame you for the problems that other groups face – even though the poor white person may have the same problems.

        Not to mention the fact that white poverty has always been around. Also, white slavery is never really talked about.

        Some books:

        They Were White and They Were Slaves by Michael Hoffman.

        Christian Slaves, Muslim Masters by Robert C. Davis.

        White Cargo: The Forgotten History of Britain’s White Slaves in America by Don Jordan and Michael Walsh.

        White Trash: The 400-Year-Old History of Class in America by Nancy Eisenberg.

        1. Evan Marc Katz

          Welcome back, “Susan”. I’ve tried to run off most of my right-wing trolls but I see you have been posting half-cocked things like this all over the Internet. To dignify your illogical response:

          1. White privilege is not a myth. Fact: if your name is LaTasha or DeSean, you’re going to have your resume ignored at a much higher rate than if that resume said Natasha or Sean. Furthermore, you’ll never have trouble getting arrested being in the wrong neighborhood wearing the wrong clothing if you’re white. There are dozens of other examples, but again, I don’t want to take up too much time here.

          2. Jews, Asians and women have achieved on merit. Not color. Not gender. No one is giving them a free pass. If anything, they have to work harder because they don’t traditionally belong to the old boys club. So when we see that Jews win a disproportionate amount of Nobel Prizes, or Asians make up 25% of Ivy League schools (or twice their percentage of the population) or women earn 33% more college degrees than men, that doesn’t mean they’re “privileged.” it means they earned it.

          3. Citing examples of Jews or Asians owning slaves is a ridiculous smoke screen that is merely attempting to distract from the issue at hand. For whatever your reasons, Mr. Nercher, you are offended that white privilege is a thing. That doesn’t mean that every white is rich or being buoyed by society. It only means that being white shields you from issues that affect minorities. Period. Denial of that is like denying climate change, which, well, I’ll just stop here.

  3. 3

    I’m glad they made the effort to give multiple perspectives, not all of them of the “women are oppressed” narrative. Although it fits into “patriarchy oppressed everyone, even the men!” Narrative, so I don’t know.

    I would be super curious to see a comparison of behaviors, mores, etc. Of trans vs biological men, and hoe much femininity trans men retain on average (obviously they’re not all the same, but the distributions and means might vary).

    That said, also each of these experiences should be read with the grain of salt of a biased narrator. If you’re looking for microaggressions you’re virtually guaranteed to find them.

  4. 4

    Such a unique way to consider gender dynamics! Thanks Evan, I’ll need to digest a bit before commenting but I enjoyed hearing perspectives of people who’ve lived in two skins.

  5. 5


    And what about the whites who can’t find jobs? What about affirmative action programs that benefit women and minorities?

    So Jews, Asians and women have achieved on merit but white Christian men have not? White Christian men don’t work hard? That is a racist and sexist thing to say. Well, you are a white man. So were things handed over to you just because you are a white man?

    What would happen if a white walked into a black neighborhood? By the way, the police kill more whites than blacks. Is this your definition of white privilege?

    Why are you offended at the notion of Jewish privilege, Ms. Katz? Isn’t that a real thing? Doesn’t being Jewish shield you from issues that affect other minorities? Are Jews arrested as much as African Americans and other minorities are? Do Jews drop out of school as much as African Americans do? And you didn’t mention anything about the high white suicide rates – why not?

    Why did you prevent me from responding to you? I see, it’s rules for thee, but not for me.

    Why is bringing up the fact that Asians, Blacks and Jews owned slaves a ridiculous smoke screen


    1. 5.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      All right, we’re going there, “Hope.”

      1. What about the whites who can’t find jobs?” I acknowledged it but you must have missed it. “That doesn’t mean that every white is rich or being buoyed by society. It only means that being white shields you from issues that affect minorities. Period. Denial of that is like denying climate change” There are tens of millions of underprivileged white men who are struggling. And still, they don’t have to deal with issues of societal sexism that affects women and racism that affects blacks. I’m acknowledging both. You’re trying to deny the latter.

      2. What about affirmative action programs that benefit women and minorities? You make my point. They are designed to help bridge the gap and give historically oppressed minorities a chance. And yet, as of yesterday, only 5% of CEOs are women. Similar with the number of directors in Hollywood. That disparity is a number worth considering, no?

      3. No one said Christian men haven’t achieved on merit. That is another disingenuous claim. What I DID do was defend the disproportionate achievements of Jews, women, blacks and Asians (which were questioned by “Susan Nercher”) without once putting down white men. You seem highly invested in misinterpreting my words.

      4. Were things “handed” to me because I was a white man? No. But I’d have to be an idiot to fail to recognize that I was born on third base into a highly functional upper middle-class Jewish family in Long Island that was invested in my success, sent me to Duke, and helped me financially in my 20’s when I was a screenwriter. My legitimate hard work doesn’t take away from the fact that 95% of people don’t have those advantages and that there are disproportionately fewer blacks/Asians/Hispanics/women who are making it in Hollywood. It’s not a meritocracy. It’s a business and many deserving folks never get a break. It would be hard to parse out how much is based on talent or based on the false belief that people won’t want to see black/women/Asian movies. There’s been progress; just not enough.

      5. What would happen if a white walked into a black neighborhood? He’d probably keep walking to his destination. And I’m pretty sure the cops wouldn’t pre-emptively arrest him.

      6. Police kill more whites than blacks. That’s a statement about the sheer volume of white people in America. If I told you more male coal miners died, that’s not sexism; that’s about representation in the coal mines. A more accurate statistic is that blacks are three times more likely to be killed by cops than white people.”

      7. Does being Jewish shield me from issues affecting other minorities? Yes. I can blend in, unlike my black friends. Which also goes to make MY point; you can’t play both sides of the fence. Either whites have a certain advantage from being white or they don’t. In four paragraphs, you were saying there’s no white privilege. In this paragraph, you’re trying to point out that there IS white privilege and that I benefit from it because I’m Jewish. (I do.) So which is it: is there white privilege that I benefitted from? Or is there none and SaQuon is just as likely to get a taxi or a job as you are?

      8. Jews are not as underprivileged a culture as African Americans. True. For more on why, read Amy Chua’s “The Triple Package,” which explains why Jews, Indians and Asians have overachieved in America.

      9. Why is bringing up other slaveowners a smoke screen? Because it has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE CONCEPT OF WHITE PRIVILEGE IN 21st century America. And it elides the point that the vast majority of slaveowners were NOT Jewish, since there were only a total of 150,000 Jews in America in 1860.

      10. Why didn’t I bring up white suicide rates? Because, again, it is irrelevant. You don’t seem to understand that there IS such a thing as white privilege AND there a tens of millions of white people legitimately struggling. BOTH are true. It may be hard to wrap your head around, but we can easily say that blacks, Asians and women have race-based problems that you will NEVER ever face AND that there are loads of Caucasians who are not succeeding in modern-day America. Perhaps if you acknowledge that, we won’t need to go through this charade of me obliterating each point you attempted to make, one by one.

      10. Why did I prevent you from responding to me? Huh? What was the comment that I just replied to with 10 bullet points? That was you responding to me.

      So maybe you should go now to your aggrieved white community and tell your friends how a fellow white man (who’s not REALLY white – he’s JEWISH) beat you like a drum in less than 10 minutes of typing. Or, better yet, do what you’ve always done, exit with your fake names, seek our your fake news that plays to your confirmation bias, continue to troll for fun, and bury your head in the sand. The upshot of this approach is that you can continue to feel like the righteous victim of reverse racism, even though all your statements fall apart with the tiniest bit of scrutiny.

  6. 6
    Susan Nercher (Hope)

    Yes, we should go there, Evan.

    1. You acknowledge that whites can’t find jobs? Well, then that proves there is no such thing as white privilege. If white privilege existed, all whites would be affluent. Once you acknowledge that there are poor whites, there goes the white privilege theory. How do you know that no white men have suffered from racism and sexism? Is there any affirmative action for white men? There is a high rate of suicide among white men – is that your definition of white privilege?

    2. And what about affirmative action programs that help oppressed whites bridge the gap? Forty-one percent of the nation’s poor are white. So your argument is basically who cares about poor whites? They should have just taken advantage of the white privilege that you claim exists?

    Few people become successful CEOs and Hollywood directors to begin with. Your argument is that because fewer people of a certain group obtain the highest positions, there must be a privilege associated with it. But what about all of the poor whites who can’t find jobs at all? Just ignore them?

    3. What about the disparate treatment of whites? Whites were slaves as well. There have been poor whites since the foundation of this nation. Men have been forced to serve on ships and work on hard labor projects as well. Men are more likely to be imprisoned. Whites make up the largest group of the impoverished. Nothing to say about that?

    4. Sounds like you were privileged. Wish I had the privilege you had. But just because you had privilege, doesn’t mean that all whites have it. You are correct that a lot of things aren’t a meritocracy – often times it is the rich and connected who get the best jobs. But most whites aren’t rich and connected either. Furthermore, there aren’t that many affirmative action programs geared towards poor whites either.

    5. The police arrest more whites than they do blacks. The police kill more whites than they do blacks. Blacks murder more whites than the other way around.

    You may not have experienced it because of your privilege but there are plenty of whites who suffer.

    6. So you argue that there aren’t that many black and female CEOs and Hollywood directors. But when confronted with the fact that the police kill more whites, you just say that’s because whites make up the majority. Got news for you, if there are more white CEOs and Hollywood directors, it could be that it’s because there are more whites in general.

    If men are being killed in the coal mines, don’t you think something should be done about it? Men make up the vast majority of workplace fatalities. If women made up the vast majority of workplace fatalities, you would be screaming sexism. When you ignore the suffering of a particular group, that is a form of racism/sexism.

    7. You are privileged because you were clearly born to a wealthy family, not because you are white. If you were born to a poor white family, you wouldn’t have had the privileges you enjoyed. My parents couldn’t support me through college and through my 20s in the way your parents did. I had to work to help support them. There are also a large number of wealthy black families who enjoy the privileges you enjoyed. Once you prove that there is white poverty, there goes the theory of white privilege.

    8. Well, if non-white minorities have overachieved in America and are doing better than the average white person, that is more proof that white privilege doesn’t exist.

    9. The point is, every race was engaged in the slavery of people and whites were slaves as well. Only about 5% of whites owned slaves. The first legal slave owner in American history was a black tobacco farmer named Anthony Johnson. American Indians owned thousands of black slaves. Most whites do not come from a place of privilege. You are confusing class with race.

    10. White suicide rates are irrelevant? I think they are totally relevant in dispelling the myth of white privilege. It is clearly difficult for you to wrap your own head around this, but white people have a lot of problems that other groups clearly don’t face either. All white people are not like you. You may not have had that many hardships but that doesn’t mean that all white people don’t have hardships. How do you know what I have faced? You don’t know me and you are making racial assumptions. You haven’t obliterated anything; in fact, you are just proving the greater extent of your wilful ignorance. Why do I have to acknowledge your definitions, terms and beliefs, especially when I have the facts to prove them wrong?

    11. You didn’t allow me to reply to your comment but I do credit you for finally publishing it. Maybe you should go to the aggrieved white communities (the ones Hillary Clinton called “deplorables”) and find out what poor white people are going through. Sounds to me you are the one who has adopted the belief system of the fake news media and the leftist propaganda that you probably were exposed to at Duke.

    The upshot of your approach is that you think you are an enlightened, liberal, open-minded person when the truth is you are an ignorant bigot who is engaged in virtue signaling. You offered no scrutiny – all you did was provide the same talking points that all leftists do without any original thought or analysis.

    The world Jewish population is estimated at being 02. percent of the total populace — some 13.5 million, with just over 5.7 million in Israel, 5.6 million in the US, half a million in Russia and France, 280,000 in the UK and 200,000 in Germany.

    Yet in Vanity Fair’s latest list of the 100 most powerful people in the world, 51 are Jews. Ten of the 50 people on this year’s Forbes’ annual billionaires list are Jewish. Of the 802 Nobel prizes handed out to date, 162 have gone to Jews.

    Sounds like a lot of privilege. But let me guess, Jews earned their privilege but white Christians just had it handed to them and screw poor whites because they deserve to be poor. That is the leftist propaganda.

    1. 6.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      (You acknowledge that whites can’t find jobs? Well, then that proves there is no such thing as white privilege. If white privilege existed, all whites would be affluent.

      Sigh. White privilege doesn’t mean EVERY white person has it made. It means that whites don’t experience the same casual racism as minorities. Anything else you continue to write below is just ignoring this simple definition. As long as you insist that white privilege can’t exist because many white people are unhappy, you’ve pretty much hijacked the conversation because we can’t agree on basic terms. So I’ll state it again, but louder. MILLIONS OF WHITE PEOPLE ARE POOR, FRUSTRATED, UNHAPPY, IN PRISON, ON DRUGS, SUICIDAL AND HOPELESS. AND YET WHITE PRIVILEGE STILL EXISTS BECAUSE WHITE PRIVILEGE DOES NOT MEAN THAT ALL WHITE PEOPLE LEAD PERFECT LIVES. I’d write more, but that covers most of your points above.

      I’ll just close on your thinly veiled anti-semitism. I know the numbers for Jews. 1 billion Christians. 1 billion Muslims. 14 million Jews. And your point is that, despite the Egyptian slavery, Spanish Inquisition, Russian pogroms and Holocaust, Jews are doing okay because we are PRIVILEGED? By whom? They’re kicked out of every country, threatened with violence, and have stupid conspiracy theories thrown out about them, and yet Jews make up a disproportional amount of Nobel prize winners, bankers, doctors, billionaires and Hollywood executives. That doesn’t mean “poor whites deserve to be poor” which is not a sentence I’ve ever uttered, but rather that Jews, as well as Indians and Asians have done something to elevate themselves – and they didn’t do it by getting a break from the white Christian majority in the U.S.

      Now go back to Fox News, where you can continue your pity party about “fake news” and “leftist propaganda.” The only thing I think we can agree on is that we shouldn’t be in contact any further.

  7. 7

    Dear Evan,
    I read your blog quite often and I respect a lot of your opinions.
    This one I can’t respect though and it makes me sad.

    Individual choices which prefer “white men” who have less merit then “other people” are clearly racist or sexist. But I don’t live in a world where people make those choices very often and if they do, they are called out for it.

    Individual choices which prefer “other people” who have less merit then “white men” are clearly racist or sexist. I live in a world, where people who make those choices are praised for being brave and progressive.

    Maybe we do live in different worlds.

    I would like to live in a world, where people would prefer each other based on the merit itself and on the quality of their character. I try to be like that.

    What I see you saying here is that “Jews, Blacks, Women, minorities…” have to earn what they have and work hard for it, while white men have those things handed to them for free, not based on their merit. You are the sexist and racist here and the fact you don’t see it makes me sad.

    You are going to call me a right wing or whatever. I don’t care, because that is not important.

    1. 7.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      “What I see you saying here is that “Jews, Blacks, Women, minorities…” have to earn what they have and work hard for it, while white men have those things handed to them for free, not based on their merit. You are the sexist and racist here and the fact you don’t see it makes me sad.”

      That is not what I’m saying at all. I am saying that there are advantages to being white and male. Period. That’s not racist or sexist. That’s common sense. If you can’t acknowledge that, then, well, there’s not much I can do to convince you.

      1. 7.1.1

        You are wrong. There are no advantages to being a white male. There are disadvantages to being a minority a female, etc. The math is the same but the meaning and how people hear it is significantly different.

        1. Evan Marc Katz

          “There are no advantages to being a white male. There are disadvantages to being a minority, a female, etc.”

          This is what I’m dealing with, people.

        2. ezamuzed

          This is what I’m dealing with, people

          Aww, you have it so tough.

          Seriously, I’ve effectively agreed with what you are saying just not the way you are saying it. These “advantages” or “privileges” shouldn’t be spoke of as advantages but as a baseline on how everyone should be treated and everyone’s rights as people. Anything less should be a considered a “disadvantage” that we as a society should fix. Guilting white people and men   by telling them they have unearned “privileges” or “advantages” just makes people defensive and gets nothing done but get a bad president elected who makes things worse.   Telling them that POC or woman get treated poorly and unfairly if far more likely get the positive changes that the world needs.

          It is unfortunate that who seems both analytical and compassionate like yourself cannot understand this.

        3. Evan Marc Katz

          You’re dealing with semantics. It’s as if I’m saying 6-1=5 and you’re saying 5+1=6.

          I can agree with you that “guilting” white people with “white privilege” is not likely to affect change for the reasons you explain.

          That does not take away from the fact that you’ve agreed with me that women and minorities are DISadvantaged which, ahem, is the SAME as white people being advantaged. You’re focused on the language. I’m focused on the bottom line. There IS white privilege – and I benefit from it in ways that I don’t even notice. You just want me to call it minority disadvantage instead. Got it. You can take that up with people who actually name this stuff. I’m just using the commonly accepted terminology.

        4. ezamuzed

          Thanks Evan,

          I agree. I hope that we can get people to understand that the way to deliver the message is just and important as the message itself.

      2. 7.1.2

        Good work, Evan. We could cite studies, some conducted by prestigious departments like the Bureau of Economic Analysis to support all your claims on this thread, but why bother I guess.

  8. 8

    Wow, some of the comments have really gone off topic, so I’ll bring it back to Evan’s question about which insights were useful.

    It was interesting that one man described how helpless he felt about a female student hitting on him. I don’t know why he would let it go to the point where he wished police could escort him. Why couldn’t he just tell her that her behavior was making him uncomfortable? Men can say that to women just as easily as women can to men. Maybe she had no idea she was doing anything wrong, it sounded like just emails and texts, which students do with a trusted teacher.

    It was also interesting, another man’s story about how testosterone made him impatient. In general we know that men don’t like it when people spin stories around and around and don’t get to the point, but I thought that was social conditioning more than biology. That man’s comment suggests that it is biology after all.

    And the last man’s story made me wonder what he was talking about, what ways women think that we should be catered to or are too weak to handle. Maybe he lives in a different world than me, because in my world, women don’t get to board the bus first or sit down first (it’s whoever is first in line), and men always speak first, not women.

    Anyway, it was interesting to read these transgender men’s perspectives. Thanks.

  9. 9

    I used to work as a counsellor and I’ve heard this story before a few times. I wont get into the alt-right versus Twitter debate about whether the white male patriarchal privilege exists, and neither did these young people, really, but they expected it to be a lot more…tangible, ie not something you’d learn about in a sociology textbook. They though that their normal day to day interactions actions would be more…priveleged.

    Btw it is more interesting the take that f to m people have on these issues, because they tend to ‘pass’ very well. M to f trans people, unless they’re very lucky and ‘pass’ well, tend to have this distinctively ‘trans’ experience of life, at least with strangers, because they’re often identifiable as such and don’t really have the normal experience of a male or a female.

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