Looks matter. Clothes matter. Non-verbal cues matter. Eye contact matters.
There’s a political correctness around speaking truth that I just can’t abide – and this is one of those issues that someone can accidentally take pejoratively.
When I share a summary of a scientific article that says that “this is how people actually react to other people,” it is not an endorsement of said behavior. It’s an observation.
Same as reporting that people who wait longer to get married are less likely to divorce.
Same as reporting that children born to single mothers have a harder time in life.
Same as reporting that women don’t enjoy hookup culture as much as men do.
There are always a million exceptions to these rules – but it’s important to know and acknowledge the rules.
You can’t change your height. You can’t change your age. You can’t give yourself a full-on personality transplant. But you can lose weight. You can dress nicer. You can square your body, smile and look people in the eyes when you talk.
All of these, by the way, are just signifiers of the one all-important trait out there: confidence.
Show people you like yourself and people will reflexively like you in return. Act slovenly, insecure, or negative and – without trying – people will have a negative reaction.
It ain’t rocket science, but sometimes, it’s important to remember that whether it’s good, bad or unfair doesn’t matter. What matters whether you’re happy with the results.
Your thoughts, below, are greatly appreciated.