Why You May Be More Insecure Than You Think and How to Fix It
We all have strengths and weaknesses.
From reading my emails, I would think that mine are pretty obvious.
I’m experienced…but that may make me more rigid in my beliefs.
I’m opinionated…but also prone to rubbing people the wrong way.
I’m logical…but it can be hard for emotional people to connect with me.
I’m balanced…but that can be frustrating when you want me to take your side.
Some men think I’m a sell-out to women for demanding better behavior from men.
Some women think I favor men because I often play devil’s advocate with women.
The only reason I bring this up is because I think it’s important to know how you’re perceived by others.
Believe me, the truth hurts, and it’s far easier to not acknowledge others’ perceptions at all.
I mean seriously, do you think it feels good to confess to tens of thousands of women that I can be perceived as cold, masculine, stubborn and rigid?
There’s how you see yourself. There’s how others see you. The two don’t always line up.
Of course not.
And while I may not entirely agree with the assessment myself, the point is that perception IS reality.
There’s how you see yourself. There’s how others see you.
The two don’t always line up.
I recently encouraged you to take my quiz, 20 Signs You’ve Wasted Time on the Wrong Men and Don’t Know How to Choose the Right One.
You quickly filled out a bunch of boxes, in which you admitted to relationship behavior that indicates a level of insecurity.
And maybe, when you finished the quiz, you received a score that said you were insecure — and that score really stung.
After all, you don’t FEEL insecure.
You look in the mirror and see an attractive woman.
You know you’re kind and generous to loved ones.
You’ve got ample evidence that you’re bright and competent at work.
So, how dare my little quiz suggest that you’re insecure?
This is where perception becomes reality.
Because it doesn’t matter whether you FEEL secure if you ACT insecure.
If you are stuck in a relationship where you give but don’t receive…
If you are afraid to have an authentic conversation with your partner…
If you’ve stayed with a man for over three months who was not your boyfriend…
You have acted insecure.
These actions send a loud and clear subliminal message to men:
You don’t value yourself enough to speak your mind.
You don’t value yourself enough to demand fair treatment.
You don’t value yourself enough to expect commitment.
And if you don’t value yourself enough to expect more from men, you will continue to get less than you deserve from them.
Listen, I can’t tell you if you want to make any changes in your life.
I continue to be challenging even though it doesn’t always win me fans. But at least I understand how I’m perceived.
By taking my quiz, you were finally able to see how men perceive you — whether it’s confident or insecure.
Below are the overall results of the quiz. I have to say, the results didn’t surprise me:
96% of women act insecure when it comes to relationships.
First of all, I hope you see that your experience is NORMAL.
It’s normal to be insecure around men… But just because it’s normal doesn’t mean you have to continue your pattern.
It’s normal to be insecure around men, put up with subpar treatment, and waste time on guys who make for terrible relationship partners.
But just because it’s normal doesn’t mean you have to continue your pattern.
If your behaviors are more insecure than your personality, you now have actionable information — and I want to give you even more of it.
In a couple of days, I’m going to share some incredible free video content that teaches you how to be your most confident self wherever you go, and command proper treatment from the men you value most.
I hope it has a deep and instant impact on you.
Until then, thanks for being brave enough to face the truth about how you’re perceived.
I’m proud to call you my reader and my friend.
Warmest wishes and much love,