(Video) The Reason You Attract Men Who Treat You Poorly

Reason You Attract Men Who Treat You Poorly

Recently, I revealed a few personal things about myself and tied them back to important dating lessons for you.

    1. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

    2. Perception is reality.

    3. It doesn’t matter if you feel secure if you act insecure.

Many of you wrote back to tell me how much those lessons resonated — and how painful it is to look back at all the crap you’ve put up with from men.

But there’s a big difference between realizing you’ve acted insecure in the past and understanding how to correct that behavior in the future.

That’s what I’m here for.

And what I love about my readers is that you are not shy about asking me to address what’s on your mind the most: how to identify good men and discard bad ones.

  • How do you decipher the men that are looking for a real relationship vs. the ones looking for a one-night stand?
  • How can I be sure the man that comes on strong is a man that is not a player and wants to build a relationship?
  • Why didn’t he feel connected with me since he showed signs of being in love?
  • What makes men commit to some women and not others?
  • How do you know when you’ve met the “right” guy?

Believe it or not, there are answers to all of these questions – and I’m going to share them with you shortly.

Choosing a husband is not a happy accident but a skill.

But I’ve gotta tell you: as a dating coach, I probably do the same thing that you do every day: observe common patterns and try to make sense of them.

Doctors do this. Lawyers do this. Finance people do this. Teachers do this. Dog trainers do this. We look for behavioral patterns and adjust to them.

Tell me if this pattern sounds familiar to you:

You fall for a guy based on chemistry and common interests.

He makes a great effort to charm you, seduce you, and win you over.

You get your hopes up.

You let down your guard.

You fall in love.

You later discover that he is selfish, abusive, critical, or unwilling to make a long-term commitment to you.

And while it seems obvious that you should let him go, you end up staying because it’s so rare for you to find such a unique and powerful connection with a man.

The longer you stay, the sadder you get, the more time you waste, and the more you convince yourself that it’s impossible to find true love.

The problem is that you don’t want to give up.

You don’t want to be alone for the rest of your life.

You want to live happily ever after.

You want to know the answer to one vital question that will determine your future:

“How can I stop wasting time on the wrong men and finally choose a husband?”

Choosing a husband is not a happy accident but a skill.

You may not see love that way, but I do.

The best way to create true intimacy – for both men and women – is by being VULNERABLE.

Before a doctor becomes a heart surgeon, she has to take biology.

Before a lawyer argues before the Supreme Court, she has to go to law school.

And before we can talk about how you can finally choose a husband, I think it’s valuable to walk through a few of the steps that come before marriage.

    – Confidence
    – Meeting Men
    – Dating
    – Understanding Men
    – Relationships
    – Commitment

That’s a lot of stuff. And you don’t have to figure it all out right away.

Last week, we identified 20 ways in which you may have acted insecure with men.

This week, I’m going to build on that quiz with a free video that answers 3 common dating questions (which also have to do with confidence):

How can I make a man feel needed without being “needy”?

Why don’t I ever meet any quality men?

Why do I always seem to attract unavailable guys who treat me poorly?

I’m especially excited to share the first tip about being needy with you. It points out what you’ve already observed in men:

If a guy is too aloof, it’s hard to feel emotionally connected to him.

If a guy is too needy, it makes you want to run away with him.

So the best way to create true intimacy – for both men and women – is by being VULNERABLE.

Click here to watch the video, and when you’re done, please share your biggest takeaways in the comments section below. Thanks a million.

Warmest wishes and much love,

Your friend,


Join our conversation (4 Comments).
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  1. 1

    Excellent video.

  2. 2

    Important typo here:
    If a guy is too needy, it makes you want to run away with him.
    I think you mean, ‘run away from him.”

    Looking forward to the video!

  3. 3

    Just got rid of a guy after being with him on and off for ten months he is a narcissist and high profile player..what a mess he was.   Took me awhile to finally figure it all out.   I was used and abused verbally by him, he told me I was to nice!!   Go figure.   I’m an older gal trying to get over the loss of my husband ( he died) after 40 yrs of marriage.   Don’t need men like him in my life at all.   I did enjoy your video of how to met men.       Tks.

  4. 4

    This is a really powerful video. I accepted the wrong men for years for various reasons. This year I finally decided to truly listen to Evan and to follow his advice. I did his LoveU program and learned how to identify good boyfriends. As a result, I stopped wasting time on guys that were never going to commit or who couldn’t love me the way I needed to be loved. The best thing is that, because of Evan, I was able to identify this quickly, within 2 months. Even better, with his 2/2/2 rule, it didn’t feel like work and it was fun…  The result is that I’ve met a great man! One who steps up to the plate and does everything a great boyfriend should do. He’s exciting and solid with a nice alpha/beta mix. He is truly a holy grail! I would not have met this man without Evan’s guidance. I would not have given this incredible guy a chance without Evan (He let me pay for half the dinner on our first night because he thought I’d be offended if he paid. In the past, I would never have seen him again but I took your advice and didn’t hold it against him. He explained on the second date why he did that. He never would have had a second date before because of such a simple thing).

    Thank you for being so dedicated to us strong, successful women looking for love!

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