Are Height Requirements Still Keeping You From Finding Love?

Are Height Requirements Still Keeping You From Finding Love?Are Height Requirements Still Keeping You From Finding Love?

In the annals of “things that definitely don’t matter when you’re 70”, nothing is more irrelevant to marital happiness than height.

Money matters. If one partner is chronically unemployed or in debt, relations can get strained.

Intelligence matters. If your partner can’t understand what you’re talking about or lacks the maturity to try, he’s a waste of time.

Weight matters. If someone is morbidly obese, he’s probably not making it to age 70.

(By the way, ladies, this does NOT mean he has to be taller, smarter or fitter than you. He just can’t be poor, stupid and fat. Got it?)

Nothing is more irrelevant to marital happiness than height.

But one thing that I’ve never really gotten – after 10 years as a dating coach – was women’s obsession with height. And it’s not a myth. It’s real. An article on Jezebel discusses a report from the Atlantic that illustrates that the average height differential between 4600 married American couples was six inches and that the wife was taller in 3.8% of couples. However, “when the author randomized the information as well to see what would come up by chance, he found something surprising: left to chance, the wives were taller in 7.8 percent of couples— twice as many as before. Meaning, people are choosing to maintain this six inches of difference by going out of their way to pair up according to this distinction.”

This is a rigid and arbitrary preference – most noteworthy, to me, in short and tall women.

With short women, EVERYBODY’s taller. So, if you’re 5’1″, what difference does it make if he’s 5’7″ or 6’1″? Yet some short women discriminate against average sized (5’7-5’11”) men.

On the other hand, with tall women, since only 15% of men are over 6 feet tall, it would stand to reason that a 5’11” woman would be well served to open up to shorter men, instead of insisting that he has to be 6’3′, because that’s how tall she is in heels. There simply aren’t enough 6’3″ men to go around, and if you restrict yourself to them, you’re killing your chances of finding love – for pretty much no reason.

It would be like a male millionaire holding out for a female millionaire who makes more than he does. Is it possible? Yes. Likely? No. Necessary? Definitely not.

The author of the Jezebel piece is 5’11” and had a very healthy and refreshing take on height:

I never felt I was making some kind of concession by dating men shorter than me — I just dated people I was attracted to. But since most men are shorter than I am, had I eliminated them on the basis of shortness, I’d have been sitting out all those dances I never actually went to. In order to find a guy six inches taller, I’d have to find a guy who was 6’5.

She ended up marrying a guy a few inches shorter than her. Good for her.

And if this bugs you and you think you should be holding out for a tall guy, that’s your business. Just keep in mind that your current height criteria cuts your potential mates drastically – and that’s before we talk about age, ethnicity, education, income, personality, religion, emotional intelligence, values, kindness, consistency, attraction to you and desire to be married. He’s gotta have all of those things, plus be in the 15% of men who are six feet tall? Good luck with that.

Please read the article here and share your thoughts below.

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  1. 91

    Sparkling Emerald 90: You are so right, every part, and your comments had me laughing here. Best of luck in your search.

  2. 92

    Lia – Your entire argument is a head scratcher for me. Just because YOU are attracted to short men, you can’t possibly fathom that anyone else can legitimately not be attracted to them. There’s no right or wrong here. You conveniently ignored the part where I tried to date short men for months and attraction never grew. Also interesting is your need to speak in ridiculous absolutes. My point is that height is not some arbitrary number – it falls under physical attraction. You obviously don’t get it. I don’t understand why anyone thinks they’re the authority on what’s ‘acceptable’ or ‘wrong’ to like/dislike in a mate. It’s a good thing that we don’t need consensus or approval from others to validate what we like/don’t like. I’m not going to go back and forth on this. Like what you like – you don’t need other women to agree lol.

  3. 93

    Sparkling Emerald
    I think the key is being able to recognize what is important and truly finding out what it is we need.  Prior to reading Evan’s blog I thought I knew what was important to me.  After reading his blog and now looking back with new eyes on the choices I have made in the past, there are things that I had to re-evaluate. 
    Two years ago I went online and started dating.  (It was my second foray into the world of online dating.)  I received an email from a man whose profile was sparse and he didn’t look like someone I would be attracted to (not ugly by any means just not my usual taste). My sister insisted that I change my mind about meeting him (she can be relentless). 
    I met him and we started dating.  I thought I was not attracted to him.  Not repulsed by him, just no “spark”.  Whatever combination of things have to be there in order for me to feel the “spark”  (emotionally unavailable, self absorbed, no time for me…LOL) was not there.  He liked me, he was obviously attracted to me, and he treated me better than any man ever had.  He actually did boyfriend things, wanted to be exclusive, called and texted every day, took me out on the weekend, talked about the future, wanted me to meet his friends and his kids. 
    Oh yes, about that “no spark” thing… I sometimes give nicknames to guys I have dated in the past.  (These are not names call them, but names that I will use sometimes when talking about them to my sisters.)  His nicknames (he has two)… The Body Whisperer and Mr. Magic Hands.  Without a doubt the best sex of my life… period.  So much for “no spark”.
    Of course I broke up with him.  We really didn’t have a chance.  I couldn’t see what was right in front of me and I was going through one of the most difficult times in my life and was not allowing myself to grieve.  
    The gift in this is knowing that I have been blind to my own best interests in the past and I could be blind to them again.  I think that maybe being willing to question what I “know” and being open to changing those things that I do that do not work, might end up being my saving grace.

  4. 94

    @ Sparking Emerald – that’s exactly it. ANYTHING can be deemed ‘arbitrary’ and reducing your pool. I say go for what you truly want. I find that people (read: men) only question it when they don’t meet the criteria. Women only question it when they settled or have different preferences and need consensus to feel good about their own choices. If you say you’re not attracted to x, they take it as a slight because they married x. It’s all so hilarious to me.

  5. 95
    Sparkling Emerald

    Keish – 94 –  This time in dating, I am trying to draw a fine line between, “giving someone I’m not initially attracted to ‘a chance’ ” and  “settling”.  That’s why for me there HAS to be a certain baseline level of attraction to begin with.  It doesn’t have to mean OVER THE MOON, or “Gosh, let’s get naked right now,’ cuz your so HOT”.  But usually when I meet someone, it’s a DEFINITE YES, DEFINITE NO, or a MAYBE.  I will give the maybe’s “another chance”, but not the Definite NO’s.  I have maybe’s get bumped up to DEFINITE YES’s (I’ve had DEFINITE YES’s turn into NO FREAKIN’ WAY), but have never had a Definite NO turn into a YES or even a maybe.  (So sad, because some seemingly sweet guys, that seemed to really be into me have fallen into the definite NO category)  No one is doing ANYONE a favor by settling, because they are “of a certain age” and their Mom, sister, an online scold on a dating blog, told them that they were being to picky, and they should “open up” etc.  I think people do end up settling for many reasons, one of them being all those societal voices saying there is something wrong with you if you aren’t married by now, you are being to picky, you are setting arbitrary standards, etc. etc.   When people “settle” for someone they really weren’t into to begin with, everyone loses.  And people fall in love with people that didn’t fit all their criteria all the time.  But it is NOT because someone scolded them into it, but because they met that person, the magic happened, and they think WOW, this person isn’t USUALLY my type, but I just can’t help myself from falling in love with them.   30 years ago, if someone had told me I would have fallen in love with an unemployed carpenter, younger than me, shy guy, I would have thought they were nuts.  But sure enough I did, and we had a good 10 or 12 years (married for over 20:(  )  So just maybe, one of the tall women on this blog will end up madly in love with a guy exactly her height, and will be sheepishly telling us about it, but it will NOT be because she was shamed into it, or told her arbitrary height standards are STUPID, it will happen, because sometimes life & love just surprise us.

  6. 96
    Karla (NineGPS)

    So many of us live with blinders that keep us from love. When you start removing the rigid criteria for dating the universe has a way of sending amazing men in your world. 

  7. 97

    Sparkling Emerald- you have hit the nail on the head. So well said.

  8. 98

    Kiesh said (#94):
    “I say go for what you truly want. I find that people (read: men) only question it when they don’t meet the criteria.”
    That’s not true.  I remember viewing women’s profiles online where they had put minimum income requirements that were more than twice what they made or had height requirements of around 8″-10″ taller than their own height.  Even though I met those preferences/requirements, I was not interested in those women because their requirements were ridiculous.  Many men are turned off by unrealistic requirements even if they happen to meet them.  I’m not saying YOUR requirements are unreasonable (I have no idea how tall you are), but what I just went over might be something to consider when trying to attract the best possible mate.

  9. 99

    @ Helen #85, I was wondering the same thing! This isn’t the Karl R that I know, and, just like you, I am mystified (to put it mildly) by this new Karl’s posts on this thread! And I think I will leave it at that.
    # 94: “Women only question it when they settled or have different preferences and need consensus to feel good about their own choices. If you say you’re not attracted to x, they take it as a slight because they married x. ”
    Now where’s the logic in this? If you say you’re not attracted to x, and I like x, then more x for me, right? If you say you’re attracted to x, and I am married to x, then you’re one less person I have to worry about stealing my x 😉 The reason I’ve been posting on this thread is not to justify my choices (why would I do that when my bf is the most awesome guy in the world… puzzled), but to share my experience. I first started dating several decades ago, I was shallow, I ended up marrying a man that I had chosen for shallow reasons. Yes he was tall and good-looking, but we were pretty wrong for each other. Started dating again about three years ago. At first I, once again, had a long checklist. First man I met online that I ended up dating for a couple of months, fit my checklist perfectly. And yes, my checklist started with height, the man had to be at least six feet tall. Imagine my surprise when I realized that, even though he ticked off every single item on my checklist, he was still a douchebag of epic proportions. When he finally asked to be exclusive, I just didn’t have it in me to say yes. I asked if he could give me some time to think. Sure enough, I got yelled at, he asked what was wrong with me that I didn’t want commitment, and whether it was cultural (I am not originally from this country, so of course this awesome human being had to bring that up.) I looked him in the eye and said “I don’t understand it myself. You have everything I was looking for, but something is missing”. He drove home and deleted me from his Facebook, and I tossed out my checklist, which was apparently not working, and started paying really close attention to what Evan was saying on this blog, even when I didn’t like the sound of it. Turned out, my priorities were way off. I was filtering by the wrong things first. I changed my strategy, and here I am with the most awesome guy in the world. He may not be six feet tall, but he spent all his free time taking care of me when I had emergency surgery last year. You tell me which of the two is more important in a partner.
    Re the “tall men are higher earners” theory — my last two jobs have been at major corporations, and at both places, the majority of people in upper management have been short guys. Not “an inch shy of six feet”, but really short guys. I have no idea why. Anyway, maybe there are professions where tall men end up being higher earners (modeling? pro basketball?), but I don’t see that happening in my line of business.

  10. 100

    I am 5ft 4″. I try not to be too picky on height but I know I probably wouldn’t have the hots for a guy shorter than 5ft 7″/8″ and I have tried. I really believe than any man deserves a woman who doesn’t “settle” on his height or feel less attracted to him because of it; just like I don’t want to feel that a man is gonna settle for my slightly dumpy physique. 
    I try not to be rigid about what I find attractive before I think myself out of relationships with good people. When I think about the men I’ve dated, often the better ones have all been men I wouldn’t pick out of a catalogue but I felt a good level of attraction for them which wasn’t at all forced. Euurghh I hate the idea of comparing men against each other on looks and it puts me on the fence about online dating. Preferences are what they are and we should let situations unfold. 
    I agree with Sparkling Emerald. It’s not fair to choose someone you have zero attraction to as a ‘safe’ option – completely demeaning to the man involved, unless he is aware of that (in which case he’ll be settling too).

  11. 101
    Sparkling Emerald

    Chance #98 – “That’s not true.  I remember viewing women’s profiles online where they had put minimum income requirements . . .”
    Ugh, I guess I shouldn’t fault other women for their preferences, but I don’t list my income (maybe because it’s pretty low), I don’t state a preferred income, and I don’t even at my matches income if they list it.  If a guy makes enough money to pull his own weight, that’s fine by me.  As long as he’s not homeless, or still living on a hide-a-bed in his parent basement, I don’t care.  I completely don’t care care about type of job.  Blue collar, white collar, etc.  I do like men who own their own businesses, but I think it more because they possess a certain take charge, decisive attitude, and would have to be a self starter, and have certain desireable traits in order to run their own business, but I don’t make it a requirement.  It’s a nice to have, not a must have for me.
    I am more concerned with how someone handles the money that they DO have, and how generous they are will ALL of their resources, including, but not limited to money, but also their time and their talent.  I would rather be with a mid-income, blue collar worker,  who would spend all of his free time with me, and would spend his last dollar for the week on girl scout cookies, just to help out the kids, and volunteered his talents for a charity, then to be with a cheap, stingy, millionaire, who has it all, but won’t share any of it.  (Of course a generous millionaire who wanted to share with me would be ideal  😉    

  12. 102

    @ Chance – Why do you get to decide that someone else’s requirements are “unrealistic?” You are free to reject those women for any reason(s) you choose, though. I just don’t see why people are so invested in other’s preferences.
    @ Goldie – Why does everything have to be one extreme or the other? Being tall and a good guy are mutually exclusive? Women who like tall men are only capable of choosing jerks? Women who don’t date short men only date 6’0 and up? And they only want gorgeous hunks? None of these things are remotely true. It’s actually possible to be attracted to someone without having to think so hard about it AND they treat you well.  Crazy, right?
    Way too many assumptions being made in this discussion. I think we’re all clear that sticking to a rigid checklist in your search for love isn’t the best idea. I’m just saying that for some people height isn’t some arbitrary preference. And you have no idea which other characteristics are being overlooked/accepted.
    No one is advocating acceptance of poor treatment in search for height. Let’s stop reaching, folks.

  13. 103

    The height issue is very real for me. I am nearly 6ft2 with my Louboutains on. The problem is that alot of men get weirded out by this. I could date down but very few men have the Cajunas to date up. Also, my male friends tell me that my heels are important because I have especially good legs. If a guy is intimidated by my height, he is not the right guy for me. I am lucky, I get more than my fair share of 6 ft 3 plus characters. But, the shorter ones just don’t have any guts. They’ll look, stare, do triple takes but never come over even if I give them the 10 second “I am inviting you to come talk to me” return stare. At this point actually, I am very tempted to go over to the next man or group of men (whether in my heels or flats) and say, “now you boys have been staring at me for a while now but you’d rather huddle up together over your beer than come over and talk to a single woman. So, are you gutless or gay”? Seriously. What is wrong with these guys? And, don’t tell me that they are afraid of rejection because I am too, but I still keep getting out there and taking the punches. Taller men are just easier, more confident and less overwhelmed.

  14. 104

    @ Kiesh #102:
    “Being tall and a good guy are mutually exclusive? Women who like tall men are only capable of choosing jerks?”
    No to both questions, but these women are ruling out a large number of quality men based on an arbitrary standard. Oh well, as I said, more for the rest of us.

  15. 105

    @ Karla (9GPS) # 96
    YES!!  That what I was trying to communicate but I think you did it better and with less words. 🙂
    Goldie # 99
    Thank you for the great post.  I did not see the logic in the # 94 post either.  If I like men under 6’ and other women don’t think those men are attractive those women are going to pass them up.  I can’t see how that hurts me.  And if I was in a relationship with a man who was 5’6” or 5”7” why would that mean that I had “settled”? 
    The thing that I find the most confusing is how vehement that objection is to even the suggestion that letting go of these rigid criteria might be a good thing.  It is not like anyone has suggested that women should be open to dating a leprous, lecherous, leprechaun with three wives, a drug addiction and seven outstanding arrest warrants.
    If someone writes that women should consider letting go of that 100k a year criteria.  Suddenly it is all about how they are being asked to date some homeless guy without any job prospects.  If the criteria is that a man has to have a bachelors degree or “better” and it is suggested that it might be something she could be flexible on, somehow that gets twisted into how they should date a drooling imbecile who can’t tie his own shoes.
    How does being flexible on height so that they can open the door to more possibilities, translate into “tricking” themselves into “lowering” their standards and ending up married to a man that they find so disgusting that they would only have sex with “twice every six months”.  
    Maybe someone can explain that to me because I can’t wrap my head around it.

  16. 106

    Kiesh said (#102):
    “Why do you get to decide that someone else’s requirements are ‘unrealistic?’”
    Well, in the context of what I was discussing (looking through women’s profiles online), I can decide whatever I want.  Determining whether something is realistic or not is subjective, and everyone is entitled to their opinion.  It isn’t like I’m sending them a message that says “You know, your height/income requirements are unreasonable and you should change them.”  I simply ignore them and move on. 
    They certainly have the right to have those requirements.  The point was that they may simply be pushing away suitable men that meet their requirements because they may come off as arrogant and entitled.

  17. 107

    Keish # 92
    Lia – your entire argument is a head scratcher for me
    Of that I have no doubt.  When I responded to your post # 54 I was not arguing with you I simply gave you another point of view to consider.
    Let’s start from the top…
    Keish # 54 you wrote you were not attracted to 5’7” and under men.  
    My post # 55 (paragraph #3) I wrote “No one wants you to date someone you have no attraction to”  I wasn’t trying to “convert” you, I just wondered if you had considered the possibility that attraction might grow over time.  It wasn’t an accusation or a put down.
    Keish # 83 “why do you assume that I haven’t tried to date shorter men.”  
    Frankly Keish you didn’t say that you had.  You wrote that you didn’t find them attractive.  Now you have declared that you have dated them and it is duly noted.  
    Keish # 83 “attraction never grew even after months of dating”
    Fair enough.  You tried it and for you attraction does not grow over time.
    Keish # 83
    Some of us DO know ourselves, pretty well in fact.”
    Keish #83
    “Attraction either is or isn’t, you can’t trick yourself into feeling something you don’t.”
    Who said anything about tricking yourself??????
    Keish # 83
    Well you can… and end up in a marriage where you only have sex twice every six months.”  
    ?????  Again I wrote, “No one wants you to date someone you have no attraction to”  
    Keish # 92
    “You conveniently ignored the part where I tried to date short men for months and attraction never grew.”
    How could I “conveniently ignore” in post # 55, what you didn’t write until post # 83?
    I did address it in post # 89
    Keish # 92 “It is also interesting you need to speak in ridiculous absolutes
    LOL!!! I actually found this very funny coming from the one who wrote (in post #83):
    Well you can… and end up in a marriage where you only have sex twice every six months.”
    Keish # 92 “You obviously don’t get it.
    Back at ya!
    Keish # 92 “Like what you like you don’t need other women to agree.”  
    LOL!!  Thank you I now have permission to like what I like I am so relieved!!!  If anyone asks I’ll say Keish says I don’t have to have permission to like what I like.

  18. 108

    Chance # 98
    I find myself doing the same thing you do.  I look at a man’s preferences and I wondered if men looked at the preferences women listed.  I wondered if those preferences made a difference to the guy looking. 
    When I was on Match I found that even when I fell into a man’s preferred age range it was a turn off if his preferred age range did not include women his own age (sometimes not even within five years of his age).  I put ten years above my age and if I really find the man interesting that is not by any means set in stone.  Maybe it shouldn’t matter to me when a man completely discounts women his age but it really does.

  19. 109
    Sparkling Emerald

    After reading this article, and all the bickering going back and forth about weather it’s OK for women to have a height standard, I started looking at my online matches, the men who are contacting me etc.  I noticed a few men stated preference for women shorter than themselves.  For some, it was just a numeric notation in the stats.  Others put in their profile thing like ” I am short , so you  must be too”.  One man I went out with a few times, and he re-contacted me, has mentioned his short stature a few times.  The first time we met, almost the first thing he did was look at my boots, not that they had a heel, and then stand next to me to compare our heights.  Both of my hubbies were about 5’6″.  I didn’t consciously select them based on height, but perhaps they selected ME base on height (consciously or unconsiously)  It could have been a Pavlonian response to being overlooked by taller women, and getting a better response from the petite ones. 
    I know EMK strictly tells women how WE can change to find love, but it is still unrealistic to blame the height descrepency completely on women.
    Before the internet, there really wasn’t a drop down box where you HAD to select numbers (for age, acceptable distance, etc)  As far as I know, on my website, you MUST select something in the range.  (Others have an option for no preference, but I don’t think height is one where you can select that.  I do see where people will put a range of 3 feet to  8 feet as their way of saying no preference.
    So women may be “shrinking their ONLINE dating pool,” when they feel compelled to select numbers from the drop down box , but by being online to begin with, they have greatly increased their pool to begin with.  So most likely it is a net gain.
    Also, most daters are still meeting people IRL, and so they could end up hitting it off with someone, not knowing their exact height, or having so much fun, they don’t care.
    I am not really for sure about what selections can be “no preference” and which can be left blank, but next time I edit my profile, I will dbl check.

  20. 110

    Ohmygod, that 5′ 1″ chick is ME.  I realize that it’s completely and utterly ridiculous for someone who looks like the first female Mayor of Munchkinland to have their head turned almost exclusively by dudes over 6′ – so much so that I would frankly be too embarrassed to admit it to my best friend!  Thank you for this Evan!
    p.s.  I once dated a guy that was a total douchebag. (Yes, a TALL bag of douche.) He went on and on to me about how hot a female friend of his was and ended with, “And she’s, you know, tall!” .  I was outraged!  Granted, I would never, ever in 20 million say something similar to a man of any height, but oy vey….pot meet kettle!

  21. 111

    Its understandable woman are more attracted men that are taller. But there many woman with unrealistic expectations. And Ive noticed that short woman are the worst about it. Ive met several woman who are like 5’1 and will only date men 5’10 and above… WTF? ill say +5″ difference a reasonable number, any more then that you have some issues.
    BTW Im 5’11 btw so im not some angry short guy.

  22. 112

    Completely agree with you!  You are right to be irritated by men who discount women their own age.  People shouldn’t want what they don’t have.  I think the age thing for men is like the income/height thing for women because it seems that’s often where unrealistic expectations come to the surface.
    I have a friend who just set up a profile online and put in an age preference that didn’t include his own age.  I talked him into adjusting it.  I have to think that he would have come across as a total jackass to some of the women looking at his profile.  Ha!

  23. 113

    @ Bgirl81 # 110
    OMG you are honest and hilarious!! “first female mayor of Munchkinland” LOL!!! 
    Yes, a TALL bag of douche”  LOL!!!  “but oy vey… pot meet kettle”  Thanks for the laughs you are delightful!

  24. 114
    I must date her

    Nice article. I agree with you especially about “Money matters”. Relations can get strained is very true.

  25. 115

    @Kiesh: Height and weight are not comparable IMO. Being overweight is a sign that a person is unhealthy, lacks motivation, self control, or any number of faults. Height tells you nothing about the quality of a person.
    An apt comparison to height would be cup size. But as much as men are lambasted for their obsession with breasts, i’ve never met a guy not want to date me soley because of my A cups.

  26. 116

    @ Chance #112
    You did your friend a big favor.  You are right he would have come across as a total jackass.
    I know it’s been said before but I want to reiterate that though dating online has it’s undeniable benefits it does have it’s down sides.  One of those being the unrealistic expectations.  
    Ruby # 57 wrote “Prior to online dating and personal ads, you mostly met people IRL.  If I thought a 5’8” man was attractive, he was attractive.  I wouldn’t have thought, ‘Hmmm, here’s a profile of this other guy who is 6’2”, maybe he is more manly.’  In fact I really didn’t think of a shorter guy being short if I was attracted to him.”
    Nathan # 58 wrote:  “In one case, I was told point blank that being 5’ 11” instead of 6’ was the reason she rejected me.  We’d never met.  Only exchanged two e-mails.  WHat the hell does one inch matter?
    Goldie # 61 wrote:  “When I first started dating, in the 80’s, you didn’t approach a guy with a measuring tape to see if he was within your height requirements.  You met him IRL, you talked, you did things together, and decided whether you liked him or not.”
    Now with online dating you can see a man’s height, his income, his profession, and his education all before you even meet him IRL.  And then you can take this guy and compare him to other men you have never met IRL.  You can make judgements about who he is before you meet him IRL.  And yes men are doing the same to women. 
    Don’t get me wrong I do not have anything against online dating, but it is maybe wise to keep in mind that there are pitfalls to be navigated.

  27. 117

    @ Lia #105:
    “If someone writes that women should consider letting go of that 100k a year criteria.  Suddenly it is all about how they are being asked to date some homeless guy without any job prospects. ”
    So true. All throughout this thread, I’ve been wanting to say… relax, girls, Peter Dinklage is already happily married and is not available! No one says you should date a man half your height, but 2-3 inches shorter is no big deal. (Two of my best dates were guys 5’6″ tall. I’m 5’9″. Of course, one of them said he was 5’8″, but gimme a break, I’m tall, not blind!)
    #116 — I learned to take all numbers on a guy’s profile with a grain of salt. They could be quite far from reality, or the numbers could be correct, but the man himself could still be bad news… but he won’t say so on his profile. But yes, this is a downside of online dating — the way it is set up to work, the temptation is strong to approach it like shopping for a product that meets our requirements. I tried to concentrate more on what I consider the benefits of online dating, like being able to email and chat with the man in a relaxed, no-pressure environment, and to learn more about him before meeting him in person. Though I admit, when I saw a number like 6’3″ on a guy’s profile, it did generate kind of a blind spot. One of the last dates I had was with a guy whose profile said exactly that and who had a cute picture. Only as I was heading out the door, did I finally notice this on his profile “favorite books: lol not really into that stuff”… yikes, big red flag! It was too late to cancel, so I went and spent an hour with a guy who had, after high school, joined the Army to pay for college, then flunked out of college because he’d spent his entire freshman year playing tetris instead of going to class!… you get the general idea.

  28. 118

    I’m 5 11.  I’ve noticed that a lot of of women  5 2 gravitate towards me, so I found Evan’s post amusing.    Yes, I’ve learned to watch where I step :).  Physically, I like women of most heights, up to my own.   The killer for me is when a woman is my height and then wears high heels.  I feel like a kid out with his mother.

  29. 119

    @ Jenna, #12
    Why is it a problem at all?   If you don’t want to date out of shape men, don’t accept their invitations for dates.  
    I’m impressed that you work out 5 times a week.  Do you feel like you are sacrificing other things?  Keeping up with your career, reading, social time,etc?

  30. 120

    @ Goldie # 117
    I admit I had to google Peter Dinklage.  
    Aahh the little surprises of online dating.  Favorite books is one of the places I always check.  
    Your post was great… as always.

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