I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 8 years now. We have been talking about buying a house together for 3 years now and every time we see something, he backs out. Because of financial reasons he always says, but he can buy a house on his own. A few months ago, we both found a house we loved, until his mother got involved. He backed out again. Now all of a sudden, he isn’t ready to live together and wants to wait another year.
I don’t know what to do with this?
I hate this shit. I really do.
Just this morning, I was on the phone with a potential client, and I knew exactly how the rest of the hour would play out.
She’d tell me about a man she loves who is not making her happy.
I’d let her know that she should find another man.
She would explain that she didn’t come to me to break up, but rather, wanted me to fix her broken relationship with a selfish, emotionally unavailable, commitment-phobic man.
I’d tell her that the selfish, emotionally unavailable, commitment-phobic man wasn’t changing and that if she ever wants to find lasting love, she needs to look forward, not try to repair things from the past that are way beyond her control.
She’d defend herself and defend her boyfriend and explain how it’s not that bad
I’d explain that women in happy relationships NEVER call dating coaches.
I’d further explain that in 15 years of doing this, I’ve NEVER had a woman come to me with a broken relationship and end up repairing it to live happily ever after. NEVER.
I’d then offer six months of Love U Masters Coaching so she can change her life right now and get the love, support, passion and comfort that only marriage can bring.
She’d then tell me she needs to “think about it” and figure out what to do with her objectively dissatisfying relationship and the boyfriend who will never be her husband.
Marina, your boyfriend doesn’t want to marry you.
He doesn’t want to buy a house with you.
He doesn’t want to move in with you.
How do I know this if I’ve never met you or him?
I’ve NEVER had a woman come to me with a broken relationship and end up repairing it to live happily ever after. NEVER.
Because you’ve been with him for EIGHT YEARS and he hasn’t moved in with you, bought a house with you, or proposed to you.
So, my friend, per your question, there are two things you can do with this:
You can stay and wait for him to buy a house, move in and marry you.
Or you can come to terms with the fact that he doesn’t want to do these things, dump him and find a man who does want to do these things with you.
You know what I’d tell you to do.
What are YOU going to do?