I’m not sure whether you respond to men asking questions about women for your blog anymore, but as a long time reader I would really value your thoughts regarding my dating situation.
I’m coming up on 6 months with my girlfriend. I decided to take a big risk after our first month of dating and invited her to live with me, mostly because she was the 1st person in my life to ever want to commit 100% to me and also because her upcoming teacher’s course would have made her so busy that we’d never have time for each other otherwise.
However, as we come upon 6 months now some of the big questions are causing doubts. She is *very* child oriented. She spends her days with primary school children and definitely wants to have kids before she’s 30. I find myself somewhat lacking in paternal instinct and while I’m not ruling out children completely, I cannot honestly tell my girlfriend that I definitely want to have kids with her in the next few years. Currently, I’m nearly 25 and she’s 24. I’m wondering, how old were you when you *knew* you wanted to have kids. What were your thoughts on the matter when you were my age? I’m torn by the fact that it’s fair of her to want some concrete answers as our relationship goes on.
Another issue we have is over spirituality. I know you’ve answered this question in various forms before, but I’m curious as to how your relationship functions in a practical way. My girlfriend is very much a believer in things like psychic readings, tarot cards and astral projection. She wants to have conversations where I engage with her over her latest spiritual experiences, but as an atheist who’s worldview is shaped by rigorous scientific scrutiny, I find it difficult to suspend disbelief and affirm her visits to a fortune teller or what have you. I’m happy for her to have her thing, but she’s hurt by me wanting to avoid such conversations. What I want to know is, does your own wife expect you actively talk about her spiritual experiences with a god you don’t believe in. How do you resolve things in your day-to-day?
You’re young, my friend. Really young.
When you’re young, you not only tend to believe everything is deathly serious, but you also lack the experience to know that life takes a really, really long time.
In other words, not to give away the ending, but this won’t be your last girlfriend.
Sorry ‘bout that.
You have a 24-year-old girlfriend with baby fever. Yet despite sleeping in the same bed with her, you haven’t caught the virus.
If it’s any consolation, here’s a statistic from Elizabeth Gilbert’s Committed: There is a 75% divorce rate for kids getting married under the age of 25.
I know, right?
That should be a big red flag if you think you’re going to be the exception to the rule.
You’ve already moved in after six months – not because it was the next organic step towards marriage, but because, by your own admission, you’re both really busy. This is the wrong reason to take that next step, but, well, here you are.
Which leads us to the real problem: you have a 24-year-old girlfriend with baby fever. Yet despite sleeping in the same bed with her, you haven’t caught the virus.