She writes “Yes, I have “failed” at marriage — a lot. (Actually, I like to think of failure as “pre-success”.) But who better than a three-time divorcee to lead a discussion about the stupid stuff women do in relationships? At least you know I won’t go all sanctimonious on you. Because dude, whatever it is, I HAVE DONE IT. I’ve just decided to love myself anyway.”
You may remember her Huffington Post article last year, “Why You’re Not Married” that listed the six reasons why you’re single. Here’s a refresher:
1) You’re a Bitch (“Here’s what I mean by bitch. I mean you’re angry.”)
2) You’re Shallow (“When it comes to choosing a husband, only one thing really, truly matters: character. So it stands to reason that a man’s character should be at the top of the list of things you are looking for, right? But if you’re not married, I already know it isn’t. Because if you were looking for a man of character, you would have found one by now. Men of character are, by definition, willing to commit.”)
3) You’re a Slut (“Since nature can’t discriminate between marriage material and Charlie Sheen, you’re going to have to start being way more selective than you are right now.”)
4) You’re a Liar (“It usually goes something like this: you meet a guy who is cute and likes you, but he’s not really available for a relationship. You know if you tell him the truth — that you’re ready for marriage — he will stop calling. So you just tell him how perfect this is because you only want to have sex for fun! You love having fun sex! And you don’t want to get in a relationship at all! You swear!”)
5) You’re Selfish (“If you’re not married, chances are you think a lot about you. You think about your thighs, your outfits, your naso-labial folds.”)
6) You’re Not Good Enough (“Oh, I don’t think that. You do. I can tell because you’re not looking for a partner who is your equal. No, you want someone better than you are: better looking, better family, better job.”)
Is Ms. McMillan a bit harsh? Sure. Controversy sells. She got a book deal off of this article, with a title (Why You’re Not Married…Yet) that is remarkably like my second book (Why You’re Still Single). But I’m guessing it will sell as well as my second book (which is to say, not very much) because people don’t really want to hear those tough answers. They’d much rather hear “don’t waste the pretty” from Greg Behrendt in He’s Just Not That Into You, or that you can manifest your man from thin air in The Secret, or that The Problem With Women…Is Men, which squarely places blame on men for sucking.
My advice – and I’m guessing Ms. McMillan’s advice – is this: LOTS of men suck. Don’t date them. Now that you’re not dating awful men, be the best person you can be and you’ll find love.
Click here to read Tracy McMillan’s four all-new reasons why you’re (still) single on the Huffington Post. Lemme know what she got right…and what she got wrong.