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dating coach for smart, strong, successful women Evan Marc Katz
I’m a 28-year old woman and just like most of your readers, I’ve had good luck in life in general but not so much with men. I hope to meet him and get married within the next 3-5 years and I purchased your FTOO package and followed your advice regarding being specific and telling stories. So, I’ve written an approximately two 200-word essays about me and my ideal partner on Zoosk and I already have men writing to me about the details in my profile which means I probably did it right.

However, a guy wrote to me and told me that I’m writing too much and I should just keep people guessing. My response to him was “Well, I think specific details are good for starting conversations but thank you for your feedback.”

I’m writing specific stories but I’m not revealing my exact workplace location or any other personally identifiable information. One of my lines in my profile is that “…but since then I’ve settled down with a research position at a local university where I make viruses for gene therapy”. Initially I was hesitant about including the part about making viruses but I did anyway. A guy who claimed to be a public servant for the federal government wrote to me saying that I should not include such information on a dating site because someone could take advantage of me and start a biological warfare. He went on to explain that the government has enough shit like terrorism to deal with so another biological warfare is not needed. My gut reaction is that this guy is a jackass who thinks he knows what he’s saying but doesn’t know enough about my work to make such comments and he’s insulting my intelligence for being so gullible.

So, my question is, where do I draw the line on being too specific? Other than not revealing your personal information of course. Am I also right to ignore these guys who make such comments on my profile?

Yijun

Yes, this guy is a jackass, for a number of reasons.

    a. He offered an unsolicited insult of your profile when he could have ignored it.
    b. He has no idea what you do for a living, so he’s talking out of his ass.
    c. He seems to think that ISIS is on Zoosk to gather intel and extort you into giving away our federal secrets. We can attribute many things to the various national crises facing our country now; dating apps are certainly not one of them.

Good riddance.

For our other readers who may have gotten Finding the One Online or hired one of my professional profile writers at e-Cyrano to attract better prospects, there is NO SUCH THING as a profile that’s too specific.

Every single line is like a fishhook that you dangle in the water to catch someone’s eye.

Every single line is like a fishhook that you dangle in the water to catch someone’s eye.

  • “Once, all the capillaries in my eyes burst when I was SCUBA diving off the Great Barrier Reef.”
  • “I’d treat your parents to a weekend in Vegas (with Cirque du Soleil tickets!) for babysitting our kids while we were in New York.”
  • “You think Sunset Boulevard holds up but cringe when watching Sixteen Candles.”

(Yes, these are all real things that could be in my profile.)

Now, there’s some school of thought that says to remove these specifics because you wouldn’t want to eliminate someone who isn’t into SCUBA or Vegas. God forbid a great guy hasn’t seen Sixteen Candles!

My answer: who cares?