You’ve heard me say it before: “full trust or no trust.”
When you’re in a relationship, you can’t spend your time being paranoid that he’s a liar, a cheater, a criminal, or married. To do so would be absolutely debilitating, thereby negating the value of being in a relationship.
I take a similar approach to dating in which I say that he doesn’t have to “earn your trust.” He is an innocent man until he has done something wrong; he is not presumed guilty and should have to prove his innocence.
As an honest and ethical guy who has taught these principles for years, I stand by them. No one wants to go to work at a company that frisks you every night to see if you stole office supplies and checks your web browser and emails to ensure proper behavior. And no one wants to date a person who treats him/her like a common criminal either.
Hold that idea in your head while you’re reading this brutal article about the worst of the worst: online dating scammers who swindle lonely, trusting people out of their money.
“The number of romance scams reported to the FTC increased to more than 21,000 in 2018, up from 8,500 in 2015 . People targeted by these scams reported a median loss of $2,600, according to the FTC. Losses are even higher for older age groups, with people 70 and over reporting the biggest median loss at $10,000.
In a typical scenario, a victim meets someone through a dating website or other online space. The person claims to live far away and asks them to wire money for “emergency” costs like a sick relative, a car repair, or even an airline ticket so they can meet up in real life.”
Fact is that people online are no better or worse than other people – they’re the exact same people.
I’ve had this happen to clients before – not on my watch – but before hiring me, and it’s the kind of situation that leaves me angry and speechless. Some people just suck – and they taint the entire medium of online dating due to their tactics. Fact is that people online are no better or worse than other people – they’re the exact same people. The difference is that they have access to you online in a way they don’t in real life. And since pretty much all of us have fallen in love with a face, a profile, a fantasy from a dating site, it is utterly predictable that the loneliest and least experienced among us would be more likely to buy into the bullshit from some sweet talking stranger who says he needs $10K.
Moral of the story is not to give up on online dating or become more paranoid about each and every guy you flirt with – it’s to NEVER SEND MONEY TO A STRANGER – which should be a much easier rule to follow.
Your thoughts, as always, are appreciated below.