You go to a party.
You see someone attractive.
You make a smooth approach over by the punch bowl.
You smile. You get a smile back.
It's time for your most winning line.
"You look very attractive. I'll bet we have a lot in common. Tell me about where you grew up, how recently you got divorced, and whether you have any baggage I should know about before we embark on our relationship."
Wait, that's not your most charming opening line?
It is when you're dating online!
Go into your inbox. Check your communication. Does it sound a little serious? Is there any personality in there? Are you asking earnest and probing questions?
If so, you forgot the fundamental rule of flirting: it's supposed to be FUN!
And that's the thing we often forget when we're meeting people in cyberspace: Online flirting and offline flirting are the SAME exact thing.
It's only when you act like they're different that you run into problems.
Online flirting and offline flirting are the SAME exact thing.
You know what flirting is. You know how it makes you feel alive. How witty banter can strike a provocative chord, even if you weren't talking about sex.
Flirting is verbal foreplay. Yet most of us forget the foreplay part.
We go right for the close - to secure a date and gather important information - and then wonder why no one wants to continue talking to us.
Men write: "You're hot. What's your number?"
Women write: "I've found that lots of people lie on here. Are you telling the truth about your age and your photos?"
Men write: "Meet me at Starbucks on Tuesday at 3pm. By the way, my name is Evan."
Women write: "Your profile doesn't say anything. Tell me more about yourself."
Ugh. No wonder online dating seems like such a chore. We turn communication into a job interview and then wonder why it all seems so stilted.