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dating coach for smart, strong, successful women Evan Marc Katz
Envy. It’s one of the 7 deadly sins, but I think it’s both the most pervasive and the one we’re the least in touch with. After all,  Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest are all massive platforms  dedicated to envy. In fact, most of us make no bones about openly coveting what other people have. The internet is basically just a huge vision board.

I’ve talked about the cost of comparing yourself to others – especially when it comes to love – but, according to this New York Times article by Gordon Marino, there is an upside to envy.  

That doesn’t mean that envy is good. It can be utterly corrosive to your soul, especially in large doses.

That doesn’t mean that envy is good. It can be utterly corrosive to your soul, especially in large doses.

Says Marino, “Aristotle described envy, not as benign desire for what someone else possesses but “as the pain caused by the good fortune of others.” Not surprisingly these pangs often give way to a feeling of malice.”

I’m pretty proud of what I’ve accomplished over here, but I will absolutely admit to my own schadenfreude – especially with people I’ve known personally who have surpassed me professionally. I’m looking at you, Matthew Hussey. Same with you, Tai Lopez.

But as Marino points out, weak moments like this are opportunities for learning.

“If Socrates was right and the unexamined life is not worth living, then surely we should examine our feelings to find what we  really  care about as opposed to what we would like to think we care about. And what better instrument for this kind of self-examination than envy, a feeling as honest as a punch.
For instance, I often find a reason to become angry with people I am envious of. But if I can identify the lizard of envy crawling around in my psyche, I can usually tamp down the ire…“Envy is secret admiration,” Kierkegaard said. As such, if we are honest with ourselves, envy can help us identify our vision of excellence and where need be, perhaps reshape it.”  

I agree. Envy is a really bad look. I’m always amused when others tell me they “hate” someone who is more successful – especially someone that has never done anything harmful to them. That’s when we have to look inward and give credit where credit’s due – it’s not that there’s anything wrong with the person you envy, it’s that you’re beating yourself up for not being more like them.

Your thoughts, below, are greatly appreciated. Extra points for sharing someone that you hate irrationally, when, in fact, it’s mostly envy doing the talking.