DISCOVER HOW SMART, STRONG & SUCCESSFUL WOMEN (THAT'S YOU!) CAN FINALLY Find Your Man
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Addie
On behalf of arrogant insufferable know-it-alls, you’re not a terrible asshole, Addie.
You’re just a woman who hasn’t met her husband yet. And that’s okay.
Your marriage took up your twenties. You certainly learned something from that.
Now, you’re in your first real post-marriage relationship and you’ve discovered that it’s…good, but not great.
This is the point where we need to distinguish between a great GUY and a great RELATIONSHIP.
This is the point where we need to distinguish between a great GUY and a great RELATIONSHIP.
For all I know, your hilarious, caring, sexy man IS a great guy, despite his flaws. But what I’m gathering from the tone of your email is that, as you’ve gotten to know him better over eight months, you’ve come to the unfortunate conclusion that he’s not a great guy for YOU.
Maybe he is for a day, a week, a month, or a year. But if you don’t see yourself with him long-term for whatever reason, that is some powerful data to pay attention to.
Listen, you ably articulated what you like and don’t like about this guy. No one — not even him — would be able to argue with your assessment.
Thus, it doesn’t matter if you feel like an asshole for passing him up and allowing him to condescend to another woman for the rest of his life; you’re doing the right thing.
Marriage isn’t about whether an individual guy is funny, kind, or great in bed, although, to be happy, you’ll have to get those needs met. Like I say in my free online training, marriage is basically about whether your respective puzzle pieces fit together seamlessly. From what you wrote, it sounds like there are a bunch of outstanding edges that are not meshing well, all which will drive you crazy if you ignore them now. I would tender the guess that you ignored a lot of things in your marriage as well.
Marriage is basically about whether your respective puzzle pieces fit together seamlessly.
Trust your gut, leave the guy, move to your new city, and find someone who makes you feel like the best version of yourself. When you do, I promise, you won’t need to write to a dating coach for guidance on what to do next.
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