When You Should Know That A Man is Serious About You
- Becoming Exclusive, Dating
You’ve had a spectacular first date and you knew instantly that this guy could be “the one”.
It wasn’t just the way he looked. It was the way he listened.
The way he walked and smelled and smiled.
The way the whole night flew by with effortless conversation.
Then again, it could have been the physical chemistry, which was off the charts, leaving you in breathless anticipation of your next date.
It’s not like you’re crazy or anything. You just know what you want.
You want HIM.
And then he calls and makes plans another time.
Uh oh. You’ve just had your first hit of the hormone we call oxytocin.
You have a second date that’s as good as the first, and, giving into the moment, you go home with him and come pretty darned close to sleeping with him.
The next morning, you have no regrets. In fact, you’ve never been so sure of something in your entire life. This FEELS GOOD.
He calls again three days later to set up your third date for the following weekend.
You wonder why he waited three days, but you say yes, anyway.
He doesn’t call you for the next five days before your date.
You start to despair, but you know you’re going to be seeing him on Saturday night.
He’s cooking for you. At his place. All you have to do is bring the wine.
You bring two bottles.
You barely remember the meal, which is just a prelude to what comes after.
You come after. Three times.
And now you’re hooked.
Uh oh. You’ve just had your first hit of the hormone we call oxytocin.
And since it’s got a hold on you, it’s really hard to think straight.
All you can do is obsess how you want more of the drug.
But where is your dealer?
You haven’t heard from him for a few days. You’d think that after your big night, he would follow up to say that he had fun and he wants to see you right away.
He hasn’t. And he won’t.
Because he doesn’t want to see you right away.
He wants to see you when he wants to see you… every other week.
He wants to call you when he wants to call you… never. It seems he prefers texting.
The man who will be your boyfriend OFFERS to take down his profile and become exclusive.
Still, you ignore the fact that he makes no effort to commit because of the powerful effects of the drug. Months go by where you hear from him sporadically. And while you know this isn’t a healthy relationship, you still put up with it.
As a result, you never get the relationship you desire.
Did I just describe your last relationship? The one before that, perhaps?
If the above scenario sounds all too familiar, do yourself a favor, and tattoo this on your wrist:
The man who will be your boyfriend IS enthusiastic about you. The man who will be your boyfriend WILL call you all the time. The man who will be your boyfriend OFFERS to take down his profile and become exclusive.
And when you’re around a man like that, there is nothing to think about. No games to play. No need to worry about what he’s thinking. No questions about where this is going.
When you’re with your boyfriend, everything should be crystal clear.
And if it’s NOT crystal clear within, say, 2 months or so, you’re probably not with your boyfriend. That’s enough time for him to figure out if he wants to give your relationship a shot.
If you’re in that limbo phase with a guy who gives you that irrational oxytocin high and you just can’t let go, despite the overwhelming evidence that this is doomed, do yourself a favor and call him right now.
Make it short. Make it sweet. Make it simple.
“It’s been great getting to know you these past few months, but I’m looking for a boyfriend, not a once-a-week booty call. So I’m calling this off and want to wish you all the best in finding the woman of your dreams. I’m going to find my man. Please, lose my number.”
If he begs for you, he might be your boyfriend.
If he lets you go, congratulations. You’re free to find the man who treats you the way you deserve — with enthusiasm, consistency, and kindness.
And now that you’ve purged yourself of the man who will never be your husband, you need to jump start your love life from scratch.
Check out Finding the One Online right now and see how it can attract the right man into YOUR life.
Comments