It’s Time For A Change

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When I started doing this in 2003, there were no other dating coaches.

There was no texting. There was no iPhone. There was no Facebook. There was no Tinder. There was no Instagram. There were no dick pics. It was a simpler time.

By 2006, I had written two books, been featured in dozens of media outlets, had a successful online dating profile writing business, and was evolving from my online dating roots to dating and relationship coaching.

When I started this blog in 2007, it was called Advice From a Single Dating Expert. Tagline: “Because who knows more about being single than a guy who’s still single?” Blogging was recommended to me by colleagues as a way of increasing site traffic. To me, it felt like a step backward. I’m finally a paid writer and now I’m going to give away my precious words for FREE?!

Little did I know that this blog would be the centerpiece of my site and responsible for a far greater impact than my first two books and fleeting media appearances.

Since that date, when I was 35, I have gotten married, had two children, bought a house, wrote two more books (Why He Disappeared and Believe in Love), created Love U, and focused my energies on helping smart, strong, successful women who have everything but the guy find lasting love.

I came to Los Angeles when I was 24 to follow my dream of being a sitcom writer. Now that I’m almost 48, I couldn’t be more thrilled that I failed at my Plan A and created something out of my passion for writing, dating, and human connection.

Some numbers:

Between posting an answer to a reader question every Monday and linking to a relevant article every Thursday for the past 14 years, I have written over 1400 blog posts.

By allowing readers to express their feelings on the original post (without insulting other posters or asking their own questions), I have approved nearly 140,000 comments.

Finally, since 2015, over 30 MILLION readers from 239 countries have come to this blog when searching for answers to their most pressing dating and relationship questions.

I am not saying this to brag. I’m saying it because it’s hard to say goodbye to something that I’ve done with such regularity and pleasure for so long.

But, just as Facebook and Tinder and texting has changed the landscape of dating, the landscape for dating coaches has also changed.

I’m no longer the only dating coach, much less the only male dating coach for smart, strong, successful women. The truth is: there is zero barrier to entry for doing my job. Set up a website, call yourself a dating coach, and voila – you’re a dating coach.

I have had at least five clients take Love U and, upon graduating, declare that they, too, were going to quit their jobs to become dating coaches: Dating coaches for smart, strong, successful Asian women. Dating coaches for smart, strong, successful Irish women. Dating coaches for smart, strong successful women in STEM fields. Dating coaches for smart, strong, successful women in their 50’s. I don’t begrudge anyone his/her right to hang out a shingle. The Internet is a big place and as long as you’re helping someone make better choices in love, the world is better off with you in it.

But that does mean that, as a grandfather of this very 21st-century industry, I have to pivot. While I’ve been blogging twice a week to a diminishing number of readers (thanks, Google!) in an increasingly crowded space, others have utilized technology and social media to great effect. Younger, cuter guys who don’t have twelve-year-happy marriages, thousands of success stories, or a fraction of my real-life experience nonetheless have massive YouTube followings, Twitter followings, and Instagram followings, God bless ’em.

I feel like Hillary Clinton – hardworking, consistent, and overqualified – and I’m not ready to quietly let the Barack Obamas pass me by without a fight.

This is why I’m writing: to let you know that I’m doubling down on my commitment to help smart women like you create happy marriages.

I’m redoing EvanMarcKatz.com. The new site should be up by late fall. It will be cleaner, faster on mobile, easier to navigate and will feature two things, front and center: Love U and a bottomless well of success stories from women who took my signature course and found amazing men and marriages.

In addition, I’m redoing the way I offer information. That’s where the blog comes in. No more Monday reader questions. No more Thursday blog links. I’m offering just as much free dating advice as before, but I’m doing it with YouTube videos and Love U Podcasts.

Videos will come out on Tuesdays. Podcasts will come out on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with Thursdays being longer and more discursive. Emails will go out with links to these blogs/videos/podcasts every Tuesday and Thursday. Finally, these videos and podcasts will be distributed widely on social media, a place that I’ve generally stayed away from but am choosing to belatedly embrace.

My old way of doing things was no longer effective

If anything, what I hope you know about me is that there’s no difference between public EMK and private EMK. My north star is the truth. Not what’s “right or wrong,” but rather, what’s “effective or ineffective.” My old way of doing things was no longer effective; I had to change. It’s taken me about three or four years to fully come to terms with this but that’s how change works. Slowly, then suddenly. Adapt or die.

I’m choosing to adapt – to walk the walk of personal growth and responsibility that I so often preach on this blog. It’s not up to the Internet to accommodate a middle-aged blogger; it’s up to the middle-aged blogger to keep up with the Internet and reach readers where you’re at – on YouTube and Apple Podcasts – and hopefully inspire you to change YOUR way of selecting men.

Thank you for listening and for believing in my core messages: confidence, abundance, trust, joy, and optimism – as opposed to insecurity, scarcity, fear, negativity, and pessimism. I’m evangelical about the virtues of a happy, easy marriage and by the time you’re done with Love U, I trust you will be, too.

Warmest wishes and much love,

Your friend,

Evan

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Comments:

  1. 21
    Helene

    Hi Evan-as the original poster of the number one most popular question of all time on youe blog-“why dont men hate being single as much as women do?” I will be sorry to see the end of the written blog- even though I have been happily married for several years now I still regularly check in to read your advice- as others have said, relationship advice is still relevant for us married folks! I hope it all goes well for you- I won’t be following any more as podcasts mean you have to put the sound on, which is a lot less convenient in many settings, but I do wish you all the best!

    1. 21.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Each new blog post can be watched, listened to as a podcast, or read as a transcript. Same advice. Different format to make it accessible to people with different preferences on different platforms.

  2. 22
    S.

    End of an era, but I understand why. I learned so much from you and may have even found my person. Early to tell, but I wanted to let you know.

    I really liked the podcasts and commented on them frequently, if you recall. But maybe by being good at your job, you get less traffic. What if that’s the reason? All those folks got married and are no longer dating because of your advice!

    I also will miss the crew here. It’s been, years, wow. You will always have middle aged followers, remember that. 🙂

    1. 22.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Thanks, S. And I will remind you that the only thing that’s changing is that I’m making videos/podcasts and posting them on the blog rather than reader questions. The blog remains up. The commenters can still comment. I don’t see why everyone is saying goodbye!

  3. 23
    Keltm

    Evan,

    I just want to say that I married the guy I wrote in to you for advice about. Thanks to you and your readers and commenters for taking the time and answering my questions thoughtfully! I think the post was something like “how do I get him to want to be my boyfriend” or similar if anyone is interested…

    1. 23.1
      S.

      Wow! Congrats!

      And wow, you weren’t even that into him initially and now he’s your husband. One day let us know how that DTR talk went!

      1. 23.1.1
        Keltm

        I answered this in the comments on the original post, but basically the first time he brought up DTR I panicked so he backed off (although I didn’t remember that conversation super clearly b/c of said panic)

        He actually brought the convo up again right before my letter was published — I was about to go to a wedding, and he was basically like “hey this has gotten more serious since we last talked about this. Please don’t sleep with anybody else at that wedding…”

        And I was delighted to lock it down then! Wasn’t ready the first time 3 weeks in, but was ready 3 months in.

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