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Dating Apps The world is changing rapidly. When I started dating online in 1997, I was one of the first people to do so (much less admit it). I started on Matchmaker.com, followed by Match, JDate and a host of others.
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Jennifer says
My primary photo is almost a year old, but my other photos (about 3 more, including full body) are 6 months old.
I look pretty much the same as I did 5-7 years ago though- no appreciable weight gain (I’ve stayed within a 7lb range since college), not at an age where wrinkles are a concern, so if I used older pictures I don’t feel it would be deceptive.
Steve says
Since my last match.com profile I lost 48 lbs, I have maintained that loss for almost a year, I updated my haircut and I read Evan’s book. I am nearly done creating a new ad with photos that will be about a month old.
I’ve seen women on match who were there when I last used the site about 3-4 years. Still with the same pictures.
IMHO, a personal profile pic should be no more than a year old.
I know many people feel sheepish about their appearance, but the unpleasant awkward first meeting avoided will be your own.
moonsical says
I can proudly say my primary photo is only nine days old, taken on my birthday! Pretty recent, huh? The one prior was just over two years old; a nice pic from the Vashon ferry with my Dad. My figure does not fluctuate, the main difference is I get more gray over time, and the wrinkles are beginning to come in.
Kudos to Steve for the weight loss and recent pics! I just was on a first date with someone whose photos were 9 YEARS OLD (I know this because one of the two had him blowing out candles on a 40th cake, yet his age was 49.) Boy, had he lost some hair and gained some weight! I don’t know how people I’net dating can justify this. And, yes, it was awkward! Let people see who they are meeting. At least it helps if they can recognize you! Sheesh.
moon
happygirl says
My profile photo’s are updated regularly. The one I have posted right now is only one month old. The other photo’s range anywhere from a few month old up to max a year old.I have to honestly say that I do not like it when others post very old photo’s in an efford to look better. So I have chosen to make an effort not to do that and to post recent photo’s and update them.
JuJu says
More than once I’ve gotten 10(or more)-year-old pictures from men with proclamations that they haven’t changed at all since. =)
Pathetic, really.
Kristin says
Yeah I’ve had this happen to.They have usually gained about 50 pounds lol.
Banjoj says
I try to keep my photos current…within 6 mos. If I wanted to use old photos…I might as well use some elses picture!! Maybe a model…huh?
To me..it is being very dishonest and if you won’t tell the truth about your picture..knowing that if we meet I will know you lied…what else have you lied about.?
A-L says
My primary photo is 3 months old. I have a total of 5 or 6 photos on my profile (including full-body ones), and none are older than 11 months.
artsyfrtsy says
My main pic is less than 6 months old. All of my pics shown are less than 1 year except an activity photo that only shows me from behind. I’ve had meets from online comment that “You actually look like your photo.”
Ava says
My current main photo is about 9 months old. I try to not have a primary photo that is more than 1 year old, and really no photos at all more than a couple of years old. I’ve had the disconcerting experience of meeting someone whose photo(s) is more than 5 years old and barely recognizing them. Who are people fooling?
lisaq says
Mine is updated regularly. The current one is just a few weeks old. I too get a lot of comments about looking just like my photo. If only more people posted more recent pics. It’s really frustrating to meet someone who looks nothing like their pic.
Steve says
I’ve had the disconcerting experience of meeting someone whose photo(s) is more than 5 years old and barely recognizing them. Who are people fooling?
I think it is one of those things where people can’t deal with facing an issue head on, so they don’t look at it and go ahead do something irrational.
Karl R says
My current primary picture is from June 2008, but I haven’t reactivated my account since then. (I was thinking about it for a couple weeks, which is why I updated my profile.) My previous primary picture was from January of 2007. My oldest picture is from November of 2006.
A person’s picture(s) should look like them. If your pictures look better than you do in person, you’re hurting your chances of getting a second date. That’s why I’m not a fan of glamour shots. Not only do they look posed, but it’s easy to get a picture that is better than reality.
Robin says
All photos are within the last year. But of course, I get better looking with each passing day, so I need to update it. LOL. I’ll even honestly give them my height and weight….The age is what I lie about. Because that is the criterion and they won’t even search girls over 49. But if they read until the end of the profile, I spill the beans. Only one guy told me I was dishonest. It’s hard to find men who are in their 50’s who are fit and fun. 80% look like gramps. It’s a tough age to be at. Just a word of warning to you yungin’s-start exercising now!!!
Steve says
@Robin, post #13
Cool maneuver, I think it is honest.
I’ve been tempted to lie about my age because I can pass for much younger.
Instead, I will just contact the women I am interested in and let my pics speak for themselves. Once I get my own digital camera I will likely put up photos with date stamps on them just for added credibility.
Some( and n)one says
My primary picture is 10 months old, my whole body picture is 5 months old, and some of the other pictures are 2-6 years old.
I don’t change – that is a decision that I have done, and I hold on to that.
That is why they have plastic surgeons if that comes to be.
Nowadays I just have had some botox and filler injections, but should I write that about that too in my profile?
=D
“To be honest? ” I won’t.
I have enough money to spend on myself, and I like what I look, and I will keep on looking like I do – instead of complaining like most people do.
That is no-one else business than mine, since I support myself and have earning capasity for that luxury, and no man will have a say to it – not now, nor later.
That is a dealbreaker, I use my money as I wish.
Rahat says
Most men like to use pics from a few years back because they had more hair then. Many women also use old pics on their profile because they were thinner. Men tend to lie about their height while women tend to lie about their weight and age. Seems like the only way to really know an individual is to meet them in person which is why I never have high expectations until I’ve actually seen them face to face!
moonsical says
I think everyone should have a listen to the Christine Lavin song, “I Like Bald Headed Men.” So funny. Personally this is a non-issue for me. However, studies indicate they cheat at a higher percentage! Testosterone.
Height…if they are taller than me (5’5″) then fine; another non-issue.
Weight *is* issue. If a person is unhealthily overweight at my age or close to it, how are they taking care of themselves and what will they look like in the near future?
Buck up and be honest; find a, “like partner,”…
moon
Cilla says
I have three head shots. Two are 5 months old. One is a few weeks old.
They are flattering, but not photoshopped and I think fairly representational of me.
I get a lot of requests once I start corresponding with men asking for full body shots. I have mixed feelings about this. I know both men and women get burned thinking they’re meeting a tall, athletic type who turns out to be 400 pounds and a good 4 inches shorter than stated in the profile. I have used my laptop camera to take a few fully clothed body shots to reassure men I’m seriously interested in when they have done the same. I’m not really happy with those shots, but I’m not interested in having professional shots done, and the ones my friends have taken have been a disaster (too far away, over exposed, etc.–my friends are not good photographers).
Anyone else encounter this? Do you give a better physical description of yourself in your correspondence or cave and send body shots? Do you tell the interested party he or she will just have to wait until you meet in person? For the record, I’m not considering putting full body photos on my profile–I’m no supermodel, but attractive enough and I get enough unwanted correspondence as it is.
moonsical says
If I have a shot that includes all of my I post it. I don’t see the big deal with that. I don’t think that gets the “wrong” men any more excited. Lol.
moon
JuJu says
Well, Cilla and others, based on my own disappointment from all the ways people misrepresent themselves (one guy turned out to be at least 100 lb heavier than he was in his 5-year-old pic, for example), I have come to consider these omissions or lack of recent and clear photographs as disrespect for my time. (Well, that of everyone those people deal with online.)
JuJu says
Oh, and the verbal descriptions aren’t worth crap, in my experience.
Not saying that all this applies to you personally, but this just might be the way others take it.
Rachelle says
All my photos are taken within the year. (2008)
I try to take new ones every 3 months or so.
I am surprised to hear guy friends stories of meeting up with someone who doesn’t look like their photo. I truly do not understand this and what the person who posts older pics is thinking. Usually my guy friends end up feeling deceived and cut the date short if not walk out.
A-L says
Cilla,
Do you have a digital camera with a self-timer (or access to one)? That way you can take shot after shot of yourself, without annoying your friends, until you get the picture you want. Just use a tripod or set it on a stable surface (counter, bookshelf, etc). I think by having a good full-body shot available, it will definitely help your prospects.
Jennifer says
@Cilla,
I agree with A-L. Most people assume that if you don’t have a full-body shot posted then you are hiding something. You may not feel inclined to pander to this fear, but it may cause you to unnecessarily miss out on a good match.
Joanna says
I’m impressed with all the posters here and their up to date photos.
I’ve often noticed that some people age more quickly than they might think. A lot of people over 35 can put on 10 lbs in just a year, and not everyone carries their weight well. 10 lbs a year is just 100 calories extra a day – and 100 calories is a quarter of a cinnamon danish!
I’m a fan of putting up lots of up to date pictures, but, as a women I find the age requirement a problem. Why not let people put their age in the profile if they chose to, but give an age range in the sections that go through a search engine?
As long as your picture is up to date, this would result in fewer women having to fake their age so they’ll actually turn up in a search. After all, some women do work hard on maintaining their figures, and they won’t get a chance to even be seen if they admit they are over 40.
John says
I met a woman online abour 5 years ago. She didn’t look at all like her profile pic. When I asked her how old her photo was she told me “about 10 years, but I stlill look the same”. Not quite. Five years later, she is still on the dating site and using the SAME photo.
I learned….look for profiles with at least two photos taken at different times. And a profile with only head shots, the person is probably hiding something.
Angela says
Mine are less than 6 months old. Yes the old bait and switch. I am leery of the single photo. I like to see at least 4 photos,including one full body shot. . What are people thinking? What do they say when they show up on the first date? I would tell the person that they misrepresented themselves and leave! Generally, I ask if the photo is recent. One guy said no , it was 6 years old and I asked him to send me a recent one. Five days later he sent it, BIG difference. He was much heavier and looked much older. Needless to say we never met .
hamsterdance says
I don’t have an active profile right now, but all of my pics are from the last year. The most recent one was my Halloween costume. I do have a couple of full body or from the knees up shots as well.
Bee says
My own pictures are all current within two years. I am instituting a new policy where, if I am unable to meet an internet date within a few weeks of communication (i.e. out of state guy who will be visiting the area I live in), I will ask to video chat with them. Yesterday, I had a date with a guy who is successful, erudite, excellent music taste, educated… but unfortunately sent me some pictures that probably are pushing at least ten years old, sans receding hairline and belly. I am mid-thirties, he’s mid-upper forties so I believe that he thought that he wouldn’t have a shot with me using current photos. So of course he starts out the date sort of defensively, like explaining why he hasn’t had time to exercise as much lately. What gets to me though, is that I would still have gone out with this guy in his current appearance state, because we have a lot in common both personally and professionally and he’s an excellent conversationalist with great stories. He is not bad looking, but obviously there’s that disparity when you meet someone who looks worse than pictured. I gave him the benefit of the doubt and actually enjoyed our date because we have a lot in common conversationally. But guys, please, do send up to date photos. We younger women really are not as shallow as you think.
Alex says
I heard from women that men do that too, but I can talk only about my experience. At least 7 out of 10 dates that i went to, looked way different than their pic. Women think that since their pic is only two years old, its not a huge thing. Girls, we do change, it’s just when you look at yourself everyday, you think you dont. Girls change more than guys, because they change their hair, make up etc. At one point i though to write a small book of my stories, meeting girls by seeing only their face pic, which looked ok, but then realizing that face pic is at least 6 years old, and the reason there is no body shot is because she is at least 240lbs. Then there special angle of shots, lifting camera above their head and looking up for the shot, so their double chin wont be visible. Side shots of their face, body shots from miles away, and all that still from years ago. What’s the point, you only wasted time, yours and mine 🙁
SparklingEmerald says
Oh, and who do men think they are fooling when EVERY picture of them has a ball cap ?
The sad thing about that is, I LIKE bald. The last two guys that I REALLY liked (who didn’t like me back 🙁 ) were both bald as an egg. Never been a deal breaker for me. So lose the cap guys, you aren’t fooling anyone. And bald is sexy to a lot of women. Hiding a bald head–not sexy.
My main pics are less than a year and are dated. A close up, one from the knees up and full length. The rest show me doing my special interests, and are older but are dated, some theatrical, one artsy shot of me in an art museum, and a recent one of me on a bike in a charity bike ride.
I’ve actually thought about going back to being a brunette, my magenta red hair is expensive and time consuming to maintain. But then I would have to re-do my photos. My bright red hair is kind of a big deal. Guys usually tell me they really like my hair. As do total strangers men, women, young and old whenever I am out an about.
Maybe when my pics start reaching the one year point, I’ll change my hair color & style. And maybe I’ll have better luck as a brunette.