Seriously, how old is your primary photo on your dating profile? 1 year? 2 years? 5 years?
Okay, time to spill the beans below! =)
For helpful hints on photos for your profile, click here.
Talk to you soon!
Evan
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Here's the deal. I read your blog - I devour your newsletters. I've learned so much about men (and myself) through the process.
I know so much more about men and how they think, and because I have a man in my life who is worth my time and effort, I have a confidence in myself that I never had before, too.
You always did tell it like it is. I have to say thank you for believing in me, and giving me confidence I didn’t know I had. Thank you for seeing that there was something to be seen in me, that I didn’t even know existed.
My primary photo is almost a year old, but my other photos (about 3 more, including full body) are 6 months old.
I look pretty much the same as I did 5-7 years ago though- no appreciable weight gain (I’ve stayed within a 7lb range since college), not at an age where wrinkles are a concern, so if I used older pictures I don’t feel it would be deceptive.
Since my last match.com profile I lost 48 lbs, I have maintained that loss for almost a year, I updated my haircut and I read Evan’s book. I am nearly done creating a new ad with photos that will be about a month old.
I’ve seen women on match who were there when I last used the site about 3-4 years. Still with the same pictures.
IMHO, a personal profile pic should be no more than a year old.
I know many people feel sheepish about their appearance, but the unpleasant awkward first meeting avoided will be your own.
I can proudly say my primary photo is only nine days old, taken on my birthday! Pretty recent, huh? The one prior was just over two years old; a nice pic from the Vashon ferry with my Dad. My figure does not fluctuate, the main difference is I get more gray over time, and the wrinkles are beginning to come in.
Kudos to Steve for the weight loss and recent pics! I just was on a first date with someone whose photos were 9 YEARS OLD (I know this because one of the two had him blowing out candles on a 40th cake, yet his age was 49.) Boy, had he lost some hair and gained some weight! I don’t know how people I’net dating can justify this. And, yes, it was awkward! Let people see who they are meeting. At least it helps if they can recognize you! Sheesh.
moon
My profile photo’s are updated regularly. The one I have posted right now is only one month old. The other photo’s range anywhere from a few month old up to max a year old.I have to honestly say that I do not like it when others post very old photo’s in an efford to look better. So I have chosen to make an effort not to do that and to post recent photo’s and update them.
More than once I’ve gotten 10(or more)-year-old pictures from men with proclamations that they haven’t changed at all since. =)
Pathetic, really.
Yeah I’ve had this happen to.They have usually gained about 50 pounds lol.
I try to keep my photos current…within 6 mos. If I wanted to use old photos…I might as well use some elses picture!! Maybe a model…huh?
To me..it is being very dishonest and if you won’t tell the truth about your picture..knowing that if we meet I will know you lied…what else have you lied about.?
My primary photo is 3 months old. I have a total of 5 or 6 photos on my profile (including full-body ones), and none are older than 11 months.
My main pic is less than 6 months old. All of my pics shown are less than 1 year except an activity photo that only shows me from behind. I’ve had meets from online comment that “You actually look like your photo.”
My current main photo is about 9 months old. I try to not have a primary photo that is more than 1 year old, and really no photos at all more than a couple of years old. I’ve had the disconcerting experience of meeting someone whose photo(s) is more than 5 years old and barely recognizing them. Who are people fooling?
Mine is updated regularly. The current one is just a few weeks old. I too get a lot of comments about looking just like my photo. If only more people posted more recent pics. It’s really frustrating to meet someone who looks nothing like their pic.
I’ve had the disconcerting experience of meeting someone whose photo(s) is more than 5 years old and barely recognizing them. Who are people fooling?
I think it is one of those things where people can’t deal with facing an issue head on, so they don’t look at it and go ahead do something irrational.
My current primary picture is from June 2008, but I haven’t reactivated my account since then. (I was thinking about it for a couple weeks, which is why I updated my profile.) My previous primary picture was from January of 2007. My oldest picture is from November of 2006.
A person’s picture(s) should look like them. If your pictures look better than you do in person, you’re hurting your chances of getting a second date. That’s why I’m not a fan of glamour shots. Not only do they look posed, but it’s easy to get a picture that is better than reality.
All photos are within the last year. But of course, I get better looking with each passing day, so I need to update it. LOL. I’ll even honestly give them my height and weight….The age is what I lie about. Because that is the criterion and they won’t even search girls over 49. But if they read until the end of the profile, I spill the beans. Only one guy told me I was dishonest. It’s hard to find men who are in their 50’s who are fit and fun. 80% look like gramps. It’s a tough age to be at. Just a word of warning to you yungin’s-start exercising now!!!
@Robin, post #13
Cool maneuver, I think it is honest.
I’ve been tempted to lie about my age because I can pass for much younger.
Instead, I will just contact the women I am interested in and let my pics speak for themselves. Once I get my own digital camera I will likely put up photos with date stamps on them just for added credibility.
My primary picture is 10 months old, my whole body picture is 5 months old, and some of the other pictures are 2-6 years old.
I don’t change – that is a decision that I have done, and I hold on to that.
That is why they have plastic surgeons if that comes to be.
Nowadays I just have had some botox and filler injections, but should I write that about that too in my profile?
=D
“To be honest? ” I won’t.
I have enough money to spend on myself, and I like what I look, and I will keep on looking like I do – instead of complaining like most people do.
That is no-one else business than mine, since I support myself and have earning capasity for that luxury, and no man will have a say to it – not now, nor later.
That is a dealbreaker, I use my money as I wish.
Most men like to use pics from a few years back because they had more hair then. Many women also use old pics on their profile because they were thinner. Men tend to lie about their height while women tend to lie about their weight and age. Seems like the only way to really know an individual is to meet them in person which is why I never have high expectations until I’ve actually seen them face to face!
I think everyone should have a listen to the Christine Lavin song, “I Like Bald Headed Men.” So funny. Personally this is a non-issue for me. However, studies indicate they cheat at a higher percentage! Testosterone.
Height…if they are taller than me (5’5″) then fine; another non-issue.
Weight *is* issue. If a person is unhealthily overweight at my age or close to it, how are they taking care of themselves and what will they look like in the near future?
Buck up and be honest; find a, “like partner,”…
moon
I have three head shots. Two are 5 months old. One is a few weeks old.
They are flattering, but not photoshopped and I think fairly representational of me.
I get a lot of requests once I start corresponding with men asking for full body shots. I have mixed feelings about this. I know both men and women get burned thinking they’re meeting a tall, athletic type who turns out to be 400 pounds and a good 4 inches shorter than stated in the profile. I have used my laptop camera to take a few fully clothed body shots to reassure men I’m seriously interested in when they have done the same. I’m not really happy with those shots, but I’m not interested in having professional shots done, and the ones my friends have taken have been a disaster (too far away, over exposed, etc.–my friends are not good photographers).
Anyone else encounter this? Do you give a better physical description of yourself in your correspondence or cave and send body shots? Do you tell the interested party he or she will just have to wait until you meet in person? For the record, I’m not considering putting full body photos on my profile–I’m no supermodel, but attractive enough and I get enough unwanted correspondence as it is.
If I have a shot that includes all of my I post it. I don’t see the big deal with that. I don’t think that gets the “wrong” men any more excited. Lol.
moon
Well, Cilla and others, based on my own disappointment from all the ways people misrepresent themselves (one guy turned out to be at least 100 lb heavier than he was in his 5-year-old pic, for example), I have come to consider these omissions or lack of recent and clear photographs as disrespect for my time. (Well, that of everyone those people deal with online.)