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  1. 1

    I do wonder about that sometimes. I do have a busy life, but I feel that I can make time for my love life. My priority as a single mom is first and foremost my daughter and then there is my love life. In order to have a love life it is important to me to meet a man who will understand and will accept that part of my life.That why I have dated men who are divorced or who have children themselves in the hope that there would be a mutual understanding. I have to be honest here that so far I am still in the dating pool and have not met anyone yet with whom I am in a LTR. But I like to think positive and am still hopeful.
    I personally think if you put your mind to it you can always find and make time for your love life. It does however ask a lot of creativity and juggling with time to make it work. Is it worth it? Yes. I think so!! I would be committed to trying to find time. Now the only thing that is missing at this point is to meet the right man.

  2. 2

    At the moment – yes. I work full-time and study part-time at college.

    Which is part of the reason I am not even presently looking for a relationship.

    But then, I have only one more semester to go.

  3. 3

    I’ve come to the sad conclusion that yes, I am. I’m in my first year of a very demanding new job that leaves me barely enough time to sleep, and too exhausted to go to the effort of meeting new people.

    I hope it lets up eventually, but I think that realistically, it will be another 6-8 months before I can start to relax and look around a little.

  4. 4

    I am busy, but not too busy to have a love life. What I have become frustrated with is that I’ve met a couple of really nice guys, but our schedules don’t match up at all, so we haven’t been able to pursue any kind of relationship. One guy’s schedule with his son is completely opposite of mine, so we never both have a day without our kids. The other is working so much to make a good life for himself and his son that he can only meet up with me during the week after work which is too late. I feel lucky to have met them, but I don’t feel that anything will be able to happen with either one. Being divorced with kids and meeting someone who’s been divorced with kids makes things quite complicated.

  5. 5

    There are only 24 hours in a day. Everyone wants to get in 30 or 40 hours. When you try to do something like this, you have to cut corners. When you cut corners, the quality of the product goes down. It might be your work, your sleep, or your love life, but something has to give in order to make room for more.

    At one point in my life, I was working two full time jobs. I found myself sometimes working 120 hours a week. I had a few women that asked me to hang out, but sleep was more important. Though, I do not currently work those positions or those hours, I still work 7 days a week. You just have to be honest with yourself and realize how much time you actually have.

    For some people there is no option. With the way the companies are these days, you either work 60 hours a week or do not work at all. Then when things get bad, you end up working 80 or 100. You can either have a job and no life, or you can have a life and no job. For a number of people, this is the case.

    A lot of people do not seem to be honest with each other or themselves. I have seen a number of couples that only see each other once a month. To me that is not a relationship. I even saw a situation where a couple only met up about once every 3 to 4 months. You can make anything work if you want it to. If you are with someone that you see once a year, and only for a day, is that really a relationship? Is that really making it work?

    A few years back, I ran into someone who had been seeing someone for the last so many years. On the other hand, she has not seen him in three years, they just send each other an e-mail once a week. To me that is not a relationship, that is a pen-pal.

    In the end, I think you have know what type of schedule you have and what you are going to be looking for in the coming years. If you want a one night stand, and a person that you e-mail for the next decade that you never see again, then you can make it work. On the other hand, if you want someone that you can go off on the weekends for a ski trip, but then you have to work every weekend, then it is not going to work. You can never be in two places at once. No matter how hard we try, we not can be at the ski slopes, in the movies theater, at a cafe drinking coffee…. when we have a big project due the next day and the boss wants it by 6AM.

    I have seen a few men that are in their mid 30’s that still have not even gone on their first date. They are so focused on their future and career, that everything comes 2nd.

    You have to ask yourself, “is it my job or life that is more important?” Then, that is when you can decide, “am I too busy for a love life?”

  6. 6

    Most single parents especially single moms with kids under 16 don’t have time for a REAL relationship. What they have time for is an occasional date. I’m single and have no children so I have time to make the woman in my life THE priority. I don’t date women with kids under 16 or 17. If the words “baby sitter” are in their vocabulary it’s a deal breaker unless they’re extremely attractive …lol (see I can be flexible)

    I’m finally to the age now where most of the women I meet have kids that are older or are already adults so they have time for a proper relationship. I’m lucky I recently met someone with an 18 and 19 yr. old so it’s been going pretty good until recently when I got VERY busy at work and she questioned whether I had enough time …LOL I told her this is my busiest month and in 5 weeks you’ll be saying to me “when are you going back to work ?”. Relationships take time,energy etc…Im don’t think 90% of the single moms online who have most of the custody understand that even though they think they have time or will “make the time for someone special” as so many write. (Oh puhhleezz, can you squeeze me in this week ?) They are in fact delusional.

  7. 7
    Hot Alpha Female

    You can always make time for something that is important to you.

    Look if these A class celebrities can find time in their busy schedule to find a partner than I believe anyone can too!

    I’m busy as anything. But when I have to make an appointment with a friend or do something important to ME, I make the freaking time.

    Time is the only thing that we all share equally.

    What we choose to do with it, is another matter.

    Hot Alpha Female

  8. 8


    At last! This problem has definitely been troubling me. Whenever I do meet someone online, our schedules constantly clash. I had retired but decided to start working parttime again because I missed communicating with people my own age. However, now that I am working rather late and odd hours, I cannot fit anyone into my schedule.

    When I was not working, all the men I met were not retired yet and I pretty much conformed to their schedules. Now that I am working, they have retired and insist that I leave my job so I can spend time with them. I am always so surprised that men always want a woman to be there for them but when the shoe is on the other foot they are most nonconforming! Since I did not want to leave my job, as my partner wanted, he decided that the relationship could not work.

  9. 9
    Busy Doc

    I’m a physician who’s always on call, works long hours, and has kids on alternate weekends. Most of the women I date are single moms with full time jobs.

    I make time to date. I find, though, that more often than not it’s the woman who can’t find time for me due to her work schedule and particularly the things she feels she must do for her kids.

    Regular face to face time is important…or typically the relationship won’t grow. While a busy woman can often be happy (and may even fall in love) talking or emailing us, we men need to see you and hold your hand and have physical contact. It’s our main love language!

    Having time for intimacy is also an issue with busy people, and especially with busy single moms. If a single mom and I really like each other and want to make love, she typically can’t spend the night because she has to get home to her children. Unlike what Harry said to Sally, I want to cuddle afterwards all night!

  10. 10
    Karl R

    I have a busy life, so I have to deliberately make time for a love life. Ironically, I’ve had better luck dating people who were equally busy, because they were struggling with the exact same thing.

  11. 11

    Im a single mom with four kids, work full time looking for a second job for part time and dang if I don’t miss being with a partner, laughing at silly things the kids do together and just sleeping next to someone at night. I miss sex, I miss love, I miss feeling like Im wanted by my man. But where do I start? I dont go to clubs, bars, dinner out mainly because I dont want to attract the wrong guy but also because I have no money to even buy myself a new bra let alone decent clothes to go somewhere. I feel ragged living in a work uniform and yoga pants and tshirts. My money is tied up in basic living expenses because we need to survive somehow. I feel like there is no way out, Im just drifting through life and Im gonna die alone. I cry myself to sleep at night.  

    1. 11.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Are you signed up for my mailing list? If you aren’t, go to Free Advice at the top of the page and do so. I have a new book coming out that was created just for you. You’re gonna be okay. Hang in there.

  12. 12

    I’m a single mum with a 16 yr old and a 10 yr old… i have met a fantastic guy who we hve so much in common and we can read each others minds.. lol and i am hugely in love with. He feels the same as me but unfortunately we both have busy lives. He is a close protection officer and bodyguard who also works for port security. He is a pilot for a ballooning company… i also crew too.. and he has a 2 yr old daughter and his mum is terminally sick too (same cancer as my mum).. i am a part time nurse who cares for her terminally sick mum and i am training to be a personal trainer. We both know we have something special and have been thru a lot over the past 2yrs including losing a pregnancy….We hve fought and i hve been insecure and questioned where we are going and how he feels about me…. yet time together for us is very sparce….   We met thru the hospital… Unfortunately he was in an unhappy relationship at the time…. and we fought our feelings for a while and we are still fighting everyday obstacles to spend qt time with each other….. We talk every day mostly thru txt as even a phone call can be tight… We do have to be careful as the mother of his daughter will stop him from seeing her if she gets one sniff that he is with someone as she did in the past…. but he loves my 2 and they love him… It is unfair that we have such busy lives and struggle to see each other… We hve snippets and nights here and there together… its not enough but there is nothing we can do at the moment… this is how it is and we have to make the most of it. The sheer thought of neither of us being in each others lives and giving up makes us both feel sad and lost… I guess the only thing we can do is bide our time until it all falls into place. I don’t think that wen ppl say that u can make time and will make time for each other.. is always an option. As much as it eats us up.. We no that we would be worse off if we weren’t in each others lives…  

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