What Men Are Really Looking For in Your Online Dating Profile

Today, I’m going to tell you a secret.

It’s a secret that will get more men to write to you online.

It’s a secret that will get higher quality men to write to you online.

It’s a secret that will inspire those same men to write better emails.

That’s how powerful today’s post is going to be.

I’m going to give you the formula to writing a unique, compelling, one-of-a-kind online dating profile that attracts the men you want to meet, and since I’ve written more profiles than anyone on the planet, I want you to pay very close attention.

But before I do, I want to tell you why I feel so strongly about this subject.

In 2002, I was working in JDate customer service, taking questions over the phone. People may have called to complain about a lost password or an Internet Explorer issue, but really, they were calling to complain that online dating wasn’t working for them. When I looked into the details of their accounts, the reasons were obvious – meaning, you didn’t have to be an expert to pick up on them.

Some people had unflattering photos.

Some people were emailing 30 strangers an hour.

Some people hadn’t logged in for two weeks.

But the primary reason that most people struggled to connect online was because their online dating profiles were generic.

Your first reaction might be: “But guys only care about the photos!”

Not true. Not true at all.

While a man will not write to you unless he finds you attractive, presuming he finds 200 women attractive, what is going to compel him to contact YOU?

Ready for Lasting Love?
Ready for Lasting Love?

That’s right. Your profile.

And if your profile is a laundry list of adjectives, hobbies, favorite travel spots, bands, and TV shows, you haven’t really distinguished yourself from anyone else. It’s not that you are lying about being “fun, down-to-earth, and generous,” but rather, if every other woman says the exact same thing, your profile has no potency.

You may be unique, but your profile certainly is not.

You may be unique, but your profile certainly is not.

This is the reason that I started e-Cyrano profile writing in 2003.

It was my first business – the one that first got me on CNN – and it’s helped thousands of women just like you attract higher quality men online.

And before you check out e-Cyrano, I wanted to do what I always do: give you the best free dating advice anywhere on the internet.

What I’m about to share with you are the very same tips I’ve taught to the pro writers who work at e-Cyrano, some of whom have been with me for 15 years.

I’ll keep it brief, because I know your time is valuable:

1. Eliminate all adjectives, lists and cliches.

“Attractive, intelligent, independent, playful, ambitious, caring” – GONE.

“Good friends, good food, good wine” – GONE.

“I’ve been to Spain, Australia, Indonesia, and hope to go to Antarctica” – GONE.

“I work hard and I play hard,” “I look young for my age,” “I’m equally comfortable in a little black dress as I am in jeans and a T-shirt” – GONE

If anyone else can write it, it’s not doing you much good.

2. Replace your adjectives and hobbies with STORIES. Your stories are different than everyone else’s stories. That’s why your profile will be different, too.

3. Make sure your stories have these three components:

  1. Specific and finite. A story takes place at one time. “I like hiking” is not a story. “I love singing karaoke” is not a story. “I do sweet things for the guy I love” is not a story. A story is a snapshot of an individual action at a single moment in time. “I ran a 5k in a vampire’s costume to raise $4200 for my boyfriend’s mother’s breast cancer foundation.” That’s a story.
  2. Funny, interesting, and memorable. Imagine I told you this story: “I went to Ralph’s and bought a box of Cheerios on Sunday morning.” Is it specific and finite? Absolutely. Is it a good story? Absolutely not. A good story isn’t merely a fact; it’s what happened on top of the fact. What happened on your big hike? What happened when you were singing karaoke? If nothing memorable happened, it’s not much of a story.
  3. About or appealing to the man who is reading your profile. He doesn’t care that you save the whales. He doesn’t care that you do yoga 4 times a week. He doesn’t care that your favorite movie is “The Notebook.” All he cares about is this: “What do I get out of dating her?” So when you’re telling your stories, make sure that you’re writing for your target audience: men. If you want to highlight that you’re generous, tell a story about how you were generous with a boyfriend. If you want to highlight that you’re smart, tell a story that illustrates how a man you dated benefited from your intelligence. He doesn’t want to know what your hobbies are; he wants to know why you’re a great girlfriend and what his life will look like when dating you

This is my BEST profile writing advice – the very stuff that has helped women like you fall in love, get married, and start families.

But I’ll admit: it’s a lot to think about, much less execute. Even if you’re a smart, strong, successful woman, writing about yourself – especially using this formula – is pretty tricky.

My guess is that you’ll have to spend a minimum of 10 hours working on your profile to get your profile from a B-minus to an A-plus.

And if that seems like a serious time investment, I would highly encourage you to check out e-Cyrano.

e-Cyrano writers have been vetted from hundreds of applicants, and trained by me to produce affordable, effective profiles that you (and the men you want) will love.

Profile Rating: 10

Kim is a fantastic writer, we really connected and she captured me to a tee in her writing, I really felt like she asked good questions, listened well to my answers, heard what I was saying and then interpreted that into my unique profile. Great job, thank you. I think I want to date me now! I also love the usernames and tag lines she came up with, I would never of thought of any of them, ever, they are fabulous.



Profile Rating: 10

I am so happy with my profile written by Audra. I am overwhelmed by all the emails that I have received on Match. I could go on a date every day for the next couple of months if I had time. :-). Men quote parts of my profile, they tell me that us the best profile that have seen on match. :-). Working with Audra was a pleasure. She is professional, organized and is a wonderful writer. Highly recommend her to anyone.



I have thousands of these emails, Evan, and you could be next.

Remember, I just gave you the secret sauce to writing a one-of-a-kind profile, and you are welcome to use it as you see fit. But if that doesn’t appeal to you – if you don’t want to toil away for 10+ hours at something you don’t enjoy and may not be very good at – well, I am thrilled to offer you an easy solution:

Let us write your profile for you – using your words.

Within one week, you will see a magical difference in how men perceive you, write to you, and treat you online.

Try it. You’ll see.

Warmest wishes and much love,

Your friend,


P.S. Did I mention that I have thousands of these emails? Imagine what it would feel like to have the men you are interested in writing you back:

Profile Rating: 10

I could not have asked for a better writer. Jackson made the phone interview a very enjoyable experience. And this is coming from someone who is not big on talking about oneself in general let alone for 40 minutes to someone I do not know personally. He gave me very good advice on my pics and not just a simple yes/no, he explained the rationale behind what I should or should not post so that not only will my current photos be the best but any future photos will as well.

And then the actual profile: I had one of my best friends read it and she thought it was spot on, as did I. On the first try! Jackson seems to be really adept at understanding people. I’ve had my new profile and pics up for about a week now and I’ve already gotten quite a bit more attention than I normally do and from people that I’m actually interested in.

This has been a great experience overall, thanks in large part to Jackson’s work.

Do you get enough attention from men you’re actually interested in?

If not, click here and we’ll take care of you.