In your book "Why He Disappeared," on page 63, you write. "just because you invite him inside doesn't mean you have to sleep with him, just because your pants are off doesn't mean you have to sleep with him." (!!!) (What???) I was a virgin when I married at twenty years old. My ensuing 40-year marriage was completely monogamous, but I was widowed three years ago. At this point in my life, *Virtue* is the one quality that I am so sure of, I feel I no longer have to "prove" it. I am 65 years old but continue to very much want and appreciate sex. I don't know – with my long and "perfectly virtuous" life – what I need to do as far as "waiting" to have sex is concerned. Your ideas on page 63 of "rounding the bases” makes more sense than anything I've ever read. *But* "HOW" can your pants be off and you still won't have sex? –Carol
I chose this question because what you expressed is a real common sentiment. And it’s a complete and utter fallacy.
“How can I invite him inside without having sex?”
“How can I kiss him without having sex?”
“How can I take my pants off without having sex?”
As if neither of you possesses any measure of self-control about whose penis goes into whose vagina.
Just because you’re both naked and he’s reaching for the condom in his wallet doesn’t mean that you have to have sex.
I’m not going to count the number of people I’ve “hooked up with” without having intercourse, but let’s just say it’s more than 50 and less than 4000. How did I manage to pull off this stupendous feat of full-frontal fortitude?
Well, sometimes, when we were making out on her couch, she’d say something like, “I’m so turned on right now, but we have to stop.” And I’d kiss her for another fifteen minutes and reach up the back of her shirt again, and she’d move my hand back to somewhere she felt appropriate. And I’d take the hint.