Hi. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. I waited until I was officially his girlfriend (2 months) before we had sex. It’s been amazing, but this New Year I want to get closer to God and stop having sex until we get married. It seems like he can’t sacrifice sex for the man above or for me, and when I talk to him about it he tries to ignore the subject.He agreed to not have sex, but I feel like he’s just saying it to say it. Should this be a big concern? Or am I taking it too far since we’ve already been sexual for the past 10 months?
Dear Yasmin, I’m sorry, sweetie, but you really wrote to the wrong guy. I’m pro-sex, pro-logic, and pro-consistency, and your letter fails all three tests. I can understand a woman who sleeps with a man too quickly, like, date 1 or 2 – pulling back to say, “Hey, we should get to know each other a little better first before we embark on a sexual relationship.” The guy may grumble a bit at moving “backwards,” but, if he likes her, he’ll be pleased to wait a few weeks until she trusts him enough to resume the physical part of their relationship. You, on the other hand, were patient enough to wait two months to sleep with your guy. Good for you, really! – for showing restraint and seeing what he was made of as a man. As a result of your patience, you’ve been rewarded with an amazing boyfriend, and, not incidentally, 10 months of good sex.
And, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t God all-forgiving? I’m sorry. I really tuned out during Hebrew school.
Then, suddenly, you had a New Years Revelation (stronger than resolutions, I hear), which told you that in order to “get closer to God,” you should stop having sex. Got it. Now, forgive my ignorance of religion, but I’ve got a handful of questions: What does “closer to God” mean? What happens to all the unfortunate God-fearing women who have been having pre-marital sex without changing their minds? Are they screwed? Are they all going to hell? Or will they just not be as “close” with God as you are? And, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t God all-forgiving? I’m sorry. I really tuned out during Hebrew school.