There's been a lot of talk - including talk on this blog - about hookup culture. Is it empowering for women to embrace their sexuality, have fun, and not worry about commitment? Is it hurtful to women because they're denying their own feelings, wasting their time on dead-end relationships and turning into the very men that are so often decried in this space?
Yes and yes.
This New York Times article didn't say anything that hasn't been said before, but it did a very thorough job of presenting both sides of the argument.
The author took a look at students at the University of Pennsylvania, an Ivy League school, and reported what you already suspected: smart and ambitious college kids have a sense of drive and perspective that is somewhat uncanny.
I only wish more women in their 30's, 40's and 50's understood the value in being patient and letting a man reveal his character over time, instead of jumping into marriage based on desire, passion and fear.
"Many privileged young people see college as a unique life stage in which they don’t — and shouldn’t — have obligations other than their own self-development." The article continues, "Some women also want to wait to see how men turn out as they advance through their 20s. A., for example, said that she did not want to settle down until she could choose a partner knowing that his goals and values were fixed. “‘I’ve always heard this phrase, ‘Oh, marriage is great, or relationships are great — you get to go on this journey of change together,’ ” she said. “That sounds terrible. I don’t want to go through those changes with you. I want you to have changed and become enough of your own person so that when you meet me, we can have a stable life and be very happy.”
To say that this is wise is an understatement. I only wish more women in their 30's, 40's and 50's understood the value in being patient and letting a man reveal his character over time, instead of jumping into marriage based on desire, passion and fear.