What Does a 28-Year-Old Woman Need to Do to Lose Her Virginity?

What Does a 28-Year-Old Woman Need to Do to Lose Her Virginity

Dear Evan,

I’m a couple of years from 30 and still a virgin, but I’m not waiting for marriage. I’ve kept mine because going through high school and college it seemed like hookups were frequent topics of gossip and drama. Coming from small schools, I didn’t want any part of that even if I did want sex.

However, now I’m beyond fed up with my virginity. But, friends say that guys don’t want to be with a virgin, even when it comes to a hookup. That has me wondering what I’m going to have to do to lose it.

Should I go with what my friends say and lie to a guy that I just haven’t had it in a while and need him to be extra gentle? Go with a hookup app and be honest? Am I going to have to plan a trip to one of the countries where women pay to play?

Thanks for any insight!

Dear Jordan,

I’ve answered a number of questions about virginity before — and have discovered that when virgins search the internet to find validation for their abstinence, they often end up yelling at me.

Perhaps the chaste crowd will lighten up after reading your letter. Finally, a virgin who is not looking for validation of her choice, but someone who actually wants to lose her virginity.

You’ve come to the right place!

I may sound like a sex-positive former slut, but I was a virgin until I was 19. It certainly wasn’t for a lack of trying; it was mostly a lack of “game.” I went through my entire freshman year thinking that my best friends lost their virginity before I did, but, as it turns out, they all lied and I was the first.

Finally, a virgin who is not looking for validation of her choice, but someone who actually wants to lose her virginity.

Yeah, we were all pretty studly. But even though I wasn’t 28, I can empathize with your plight.

The problem when you’ve gone this long without having sex is that you’ve inadvertently made sex into this HUGE deal, when, in fact, it’s not that big a deal at all. (Not unless you’re part of the Christian abstinence crowd, that is). Sex is a really common, really fun way to pass a half-hour with someone you’re attracted to, and as long as you can handle the consequences, I highly recommend it.

But that’s the rub, isn’t it? Can you handle the consequences of a no-strings-attached hookup? Since lots of sexually active women can’t, I’m going to assume you should be more judicious in your choices.

So let’s go back to your original letter:

You’re “fed up” with your virginity and are wondering “what you have to do to lose it.”

I’m no math major, but this isn’t a hard problem to solve. Men want to have sex with women. As a subset of the group called women, you should really not lack in opportunity.

Should you lie to a guy (like your friends say) and say you haven’t had it in awhile?

No! Who are these friends, anyway? You’re a nice girl who has held out on sex a little longer than you’d like; that doesn’t mean you should just lie to a stranger and fuck away.

Slow down there, Jordan. You’re not desperate. You’re just horny.

Go with a hookup app and be honest? Plan a trip to one of the countries where women pay to play?

Slow down there, Jordan. You’re not desperate. You’re just horny. But if you’ve gone this long without having sex, you don’t have to waste it on a total stranger (like I did).

How about you do what many high school and college kids do (and what I recommend all of my 30-50something clients do)? Start dating someone. Fool around. Take him around the bases. Say you don’t sleep with anyone who is not your boyfriend. When he becomes your boyfriend, have sex with him. Wonder what the big deal was about. Have more sex. And get on with your life without all the worrying about how to lose your virginity.

Don’t go on a hook up app. Don’t fuck a stranger. Don’t hold out for love and marriage.

Get a boyfriend who treats you well and will call you the next day.

The rest will take care of itself.

Good luck.

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  1. 1

    It was so good for me to read this! I’m a 36 year old woman who also happens to be a virgin. Like Jordan, I’m not exactly thrilled about that. But that’s the way it’s worked out for me. I was never holding out for marriage to have sex, but I also didn’t want to have sex with someone without commitment (ex., a boyfriend).

    Also like Jordan, I have a really hard time not making my virgin status into a really big deal in my mind. I think it’s because, at age 36, I’m well aware of how unusual this is. I’m embarrassed by it, honestly, and I dread having to explain it to guys. It doesn’t help that I’ve had more than a few guys respond with the “what’s wrong with you” kind of shock and bewilderment that just makes me feel, well, defective. I know I shouldn’t feel that way. But I do.

    On the other hand, I’ve also had the “virginity” conversation with some guys who initially seemed to be really great about it. Then I got encouraged and I thought, yay, this might be it – only to have the guy disappear on me before it even goes one kiss further. It always leaves me wondering what I did wrong or whether there’s some game being played here that I don’t know the rules to.

    Like Jordan, I’ve also had friends suggest that I just go throw my virginity away so that it’s no longer a hang-up for me. But, as Evan wisely pointed out, that can bring consequences far worse than being a virgin. The fact that I’m still a virgin tells you what side of that debate I land on.

    In the meantime I’m just trying to keep a positive attitude and to keep dating… while trying to beat back that nagging whisper in the back of my mind that says that I’m just not desirable to men. And that a man wouldn’t want to sleep with a woman who wouldn’t be able to please him in bed.

    Thanks for the great post, Evan! Best of luck to all of your readers as they navigate the dating world   😉

    1. 1.1

      It’s tough isn’t it, telling a man you have just met that you are a virgin. Just know that you are desirable to men, even if you are not so experienced as other women. And who says you can’t please him in bed? I am sure that if you are attracted to someone that you will have no problems in that area. Foreplay and sex, being good at it, is something you learn, not an inborn talent.

      I have had all the reactions possible, from them wondering whether i am deeply religious to ‘i don’t know what to say’, right down to thoughtless reactions a la ‘OMG, you are SO damaged’. Gee, thanks. Also, ‘bye.

      I have tried different ways of dropping the bomb and trial and error has shown to me that it is best to just keep the information to yourself for a while. If you slowly go round the bases then they do not need to know. If they ask whether you want to go all the way then you can in all sincerity say that you are just not ready for it, that you want to have sex if/when you are boyfriend and girlfriend. The big confession can wait until you get to know him better. Most dating situations never go that far, and you thereby evade the awkward conversation and their reaction to it altogether.

      If this feels deceptive, just think of Evan’s advice regarding sharing personal information about yourself. He said that he initially did not know about his girlfriend’s debt when they first started dating. She only told him after they had dated for a while. By then, he was so emotionally involved that he channeled his emotions and thought of a constructive way of dealing with it. He doubts whether he would have had the same balanced reaction if she had told him right at the start.

      The same goes for the virginity subject. It’s a very intimate subject, and you have the right to disclose it when you feel he is worthy. If he is involved with you on a more meaningful level, then he will be far more likely to tackle the subject sensitively, rather than giving a knee jerk reaction.

  2. 2

    Hi Jordan:

    I am also still a virgin at the grand old age of 35. In my case it has a slightly less benign reason, as i was assaulted when i was a child, which resulted in penetrative sex being next to impossible without a huge amount of pain. It is only in the past few years that psychotherapy and fysiotherapy has slowly made me ready for losing my virginity.

    It is deeply frustrating to know that everyone in your age group has so much more experience in this regard than you do. Fortunately, there is a whole lot of other VERY fun stuff to do in bed, so i don’t feel physically frustrated at all, it’s just that i wish i had experienced the grand finale at least once in my life.

    A year ago i was dating a guy who was racing towards sex without wishing to respect the fact that i wanted to take my sweet time going round the bases. He knew about my challenge regarding this matter, but looking back now i see he just didn’t give a flying fig, he just wanted to have his way asap. He was whining for it so much, that in the end i gave in and let him try. I had five seconds of feeling as if i was being stabbed with a knife before i managed to push him away. His reaction? To roll over and pout. That was when i knew that i wanted to get out of his bedroom and life pronto. It was a setback to my therapy progress which i had started a few months before, and it took me a while to get back on track again.

    You do not have this problem, but I would still caution against landing into bed with a random man.  While it would be very tempting to lose it to the first guy that comes along. you have to ask yourself whether you would feel comfortable with that. It doesn’t have to be the most memorable experience ever (chances are that it won’t exactly be mind blowing the first time round), but wouldn’t it be better to experience it with a man you have a degree of intimacy with first? That you know well enough to know that he would be gentle and attentive, making sure it is a pleasurable experience for you? Finding out whether a man is capable of being this way towards you takes time. I hope you give yourself the space to find the right man to have this momentous occasion with.

  3. 3
    Emily, the original

    Jordan: I was a late bloomer myself. Pick a guy friend you like and trust. That’s what I did. I wasn’t in any way ga ga over him, and I didn’t want to date him, but he treated me well and we hooked up for about a month. That way, when you do meet someone you really like, you have a bit of experience under your belt and you won’t be so nervous.

    1. 3.1

      Hmmm… but Em

      Are you not the zombie queen? Doesn’t every male friend eventually fall in love with you and become a mindless zombie wanting Emily brain to date, to love and eventually to marry? (^_^)

      …    …    …

      I have heard of a few stories of people doing what you suggest, and almost all of them usually have at least one of the two (usually the test partner) fall real hard.

      I have never done it myself, but I do believe what the majority of people say when they say that friends with benefits rarely work.

      Besides aren’t you the one that always says that there is no such thing as bad sex? So as long as both of these women find someone who loves them, their skill level (or lack thereof) doesn’t matter…right?

      So why suggest the practice?

      1. 3.1.1
        Emily, the original

        My dearest Adrian,

        Are you not the zombie queen? Doesn’t every male friend eventually fall in love with you

        I’m searching in my initial post for a place in which I imply my male friend wanted to date me. I’m not seeing it.

        My point was … I didn’t think of him romantically, and, for a first time, that was a good thing. Like Evan says in his response to the OP, when you wait a long time to have it, sex becomes a HUGE, WEIGHTED thing. If the OP also has feelings for the guy, sex becomes a even bigger THING. I’m sure her potential partner can feel that pressure. If the situation was reversed and I really liked a man but found out he was a virgin, I wouldn’t want the responsibility. There’d be no way I could live up to his 28 years of fantasy.

        Besides aren’t you the one that always says that there is no such thing as bad sex?

        Yes, but most peoples’ first time isn’t the greatest.

      2. 3.1.2
        Emily, the original


        Besides aren’t you the one that always says that there is no such thing as bad sex?

        Sorry. I didn’t read what you wrote closely enough. No, I’m the one who’s always saying there IS most definitely bad sex … and mediocre sex and perfunctory sex. I’m the one who says SUPER HOT SEX is rare … unless with the right partner and the right level of sexual compatibility.

  4. 4

    Hi Kaci and Malika,

    I guess I am having a hard time understanding: “Why do you feel the need to tell a man who is your “boyfriend” that you are a virgin anyway?”

    Being a virgin is not something to be ashamed of and it is not something that will (in my opinion) affect the relationship in a negative way anyway.

    So do you mind helping me understand why do you feel the need to tell a new guy? Or a become serious boyfriend that you are a virgin?

    …    …    …

    Kaci the few people I have seen and heard of who left a person because they found out that they were a virgin were usually people who felt pressured to make the first time memorable or special; but mostly it was just people who knew that they were not that into you and did not want to be a scumbag and take your virginity for simply a notch on their belt.

    Oh and there are also the people who leave you because of fear! They are afraid that once you start having sex you will want to see who and what else is out there instead of sticking with only them.

    Basically from what I have observed from watching both sides as a third party fly on the wall, at least 2 out of the 3 reasons a person leaves you is because of their own insecurity; it has nothing to do with you, your skill level, or what you won’t know how to do in bed.


    1. 4.1

      Hi Adrian:

      My reason for being so reticent about disclosing my virginity at the earliest stages of dating is that it is TMI. The man does not know me terribly well, and he will inevitably leap to conlusions. He might think i’m frigid (not true, i love fooling around and foreplay as much as the next person), deeply religious or, in my case, that i have way too much bagage

      The dating market is very competitive, and it would be completely understandable if he would rather date someone who does have more sexual experience. I would therefore rather disclose the information when he has a more complex impression of me. By then he has experienced that i enjoy many aspects of sexual contact, and that I am overcoming my earlier experiences in a positive and constructive manner. If he then still feels that he would rather date someone else, then i at least feel i have been given a fair shot and can respect his decision, even if it affects me negatively.

      1. 4.1.1

        Hi Malika,

        Thanks for explain.

        But, my question was why feel the need to tell at all?

        Not why don’t you want to tell a guy early enough.

        I just don’t understand what telling him will accomplish? If you date a guy and never mention you were a virgin, it will not affect the relationship.

        1. Malika

          I see your point. If you don’t mention it, you are not putting undue weight to the first time, and that would potentially make it easier for both of you.

          In my case, i would have to tell him as not only it is a sensitive subject that is tied up to my past, but he also needs to know as there isn’t any guarantee it would be possible during the first few tries. He won’t then take it personally if i tell him to stop because it is painful.

          Also, i can imagine that other people would want to be honest about it, that not telling your partner is tantamount to lying. Though if they thought it was tmi, they could always say they didn’t have much sexual experience.

      2. 4.1.2


        ‘The dating market is very competitive, and it would be completely understandable if he would rather date someone who does have more sexual experience.’

        I think this may be one of those ‘male vs female’ things were we value things quite differently and end up projecting our feelings onto the opposite sex; a man is far more likely to be honored to be your first partner than to be concerned you aren’t experienced in particular acts. Also, as a man who has slept with women of varying degrees of experience, I believe there’s very little correlation between a how good a woman is in bed and how experienced she is. In fact very experienced women can be quite ‘bad’ in bed IME as they may have lost their sensual interest in men – and that’s really the main metric of a womans ‘ability’ in bed imo.

        On the issue of your reticence to discolse your virginity early on; I think you’re totally correct, it is TMI and although we live in a self-help, share your feelings culture you are under no obligation to tell anybody anything that makes you uncomfortable – especially a person who is new in your life. On this issue my main assurance to you would be ‘it really isn’t that big of a deal’ – I hope the triteness of this doesn’t detract too much from its truth.

    2. 4.2

      Hi Malika,

      I thought about back when I was an undergrad in college, young guys did/do leave women if they are not good in bed. Young guys would/will leave a woman who as you said would make him wait for a time and then when they do attempt to start having sex she makes him stop the first few times because it is painful.

      I can only speak for younger guys because honestly I don’t know of any “relationship-minded” adult   man that would do this…

      Though at the same time to say that a guy with options would just wait for you when he could chose an another equally or slightly less woman would be lying.

      From my observation to most “long” time married people sex is only the icing on the cake, to new couples sex is big a slice of the cake. However, to people who don’t believe in hookups, one night stands, friends with benefits, or no strings attached sex; to a person like that who has been single for a over a year, sex is half the cake in the beginning.

      What is your take on two past post by Evan? The first is the one where he reframes the saying by guys to women that have been single for a long time, “Why are you single?”

      I liked how Evan said it was not guys asking this in an insulting way, but guys just being genuinely curious as to why such an amazing woman hasn’t been snatched up by a man yet. Malika if you would, I think you should consider this when men give you the reaction to your being a virgin at 35. It is not necessarily an insult to view you as a freak, but awe and respect that someone as great as you could still be a virgin.

      The second post is the famous “You can’t do the wrong thing with the right guy.” I believe that when you find the right guy, the guy who thinks you are such an incredibly great catch that all your flaws don’t matter; that guy will be both understanding and patient when he finds out you are a virgin. He could have 10 other equally hot women lined up wanting to date him, but he will still choose you.

      The comments section of this site is full of women who have stories about guys like that.

      …    …    …

      Out of curiosity how have you dealt with the no sex issue in the past with boyfriends? What I mean is how did you get men to date you for over 6 months without sex? You said you dated a guy a year ago who complained about no sex, how long did you wait before you tried it with him?

      I ask because I am wondering what I would do if I dated someone who was in great pain every time we tried to have sexual intercourse. I don’t like receiving oral-but I have no problem giving-so vaginal would be my only option.

      How much would I have to like her to wait months and months and then when we finally tried she would scream pain-day after day.

      I guess I am just curious as to how far can a man or woman go with the “You can’t do the wrong thing with the right person” theory?

  5. 5

    It’s better to be a virgin than to do something just because “you don’t want to seem weird.”Would you choose just anyone for a friend? I had a friend once who at the age of 29 slept with some random guy “just because it needed to be done” her words. Well she’s still single at 35. Define what you want. If you want to just have fun, do it. However, if you want to find something more meaningful, why cheapen yourself? Sure you might feel less weird than everyone else but why waste yourself on someone who doesn’t deserve it? You might think “I’ll never have sex” and “if I wait too long, it will never happen.” Maybe. But isn’t it worse to have bad experiences? Why risk getting an STD or having a bad experience for just anyone? Let’s say the guy who is right for you, comes along but because you’ve had bad experiences, you’re closed off or have baggage. Forget the baggage. Wait for the guy who is worth it. There’s always a risk that he’ll never come but… maybe he will. It’s a lot easier to be a virgin if you’re religious. Than you can explain it more… I’m not saying wait for ever if you’re not religious, but maybe wait until you know that you’ve found someone worthy   rather than just accumulate a lot of bad experiences (only because you think it’s better to be that way than to be different)?

    1. 5.1

      It’s worse to never try and never take risks. That’s the worst thing you can do in life.

  6. 6

    I was a 34 year old virgin. Growing up I was abstinent for religious reasons mostly but as I got older it became something I wasn’t going to do for the sake of doing either. I didn’t take an active role in my dating life until I was 30 (up to that point I just figured I would eventually meet someone, somewhere…sounds stupid now lol).

    I just started meeting people and dating using a lot of Evan’s advice and decided early on that if the relationship became serious that I would be open about my virginity but it wasn’t something that needed to be revealed on the first or even third date. I was looking for a committed monogamous relationship before I ever considered sex.

    So that automatically disqualified those guys looking for a good time (most of them were very nice guys but we were just looking for different things in a relationship…we went on a few dates, kissed, but once they realized we weren’t going much further we parted ways amicably)

    I seriously dated 1 guy for 5 months and we fooled around but never “went all the way.”

    I think Evan is right in that as an older virgin we build it up to a big deal. I was ready with this guy but he is actually the one who never pulled the trigger so to speak. I’m not sure if he was nervous about me being a virgin and built it up in his head too or if I just wasn’t giving the right signs….oh well.

    Then 4 years ago I met who is now my husband. All of the awkwardness I felt with the other men I dated, the insecurity regarding being a virgin, not being sure how to proceed wasn’t an issue with him. It just felt right and Evan is right when he says it’s not that big a deal and it’s a fun way to spend some time.

    My advice to you is don’t just have sex to have sex. Date people and have sex when you are in a committed relationship because whether or not you stay with that first guy you want it to be with someone who you care about.


  7. 7

    I lost mine at 16 to a long term boyfriend and it was actually a great memory and experience.   But my best friend is a virgin and she is 38.   No religous reason she was just very particular about dating and sort of expects men to chase.   She went to an all girls high school and college.    One thing I see is that while not even realizing it, many people that are virgins are just not so great when it comes to dating or dealing with the opposite sex.   This only applies of course if you want to lose your virginity not if you are waiting for marriage.   In this day and age it’s extremely difficult if not impossible in your late 20s forward to find man that will commit prior to sex yet alone marriage.   And men see virgins are women who will instantly fall in love.    I feel bad for my friend because she’s pushing 40 and has missed out on tons of years of sex.    Sure I’ve had some bad times, but I don’t regret it a bit.

  8. 8

    I’m a few years younger than OP and I’m starting to get tired of it also. Evan is right, you don’t want to sleep with a stranger so wait until you get boyfriend. I cannot imagine how some wait till marriage but more power to them.

  9. 9

    I’ve slept with a couple of virgins. I thought it was a cool experience. Men are not afraid of virgins; it is an honor for a woman to give herself like that to a man. Immature men fear virgins. Virginity isn’t something  to “get rid of” or overthink. Virginity is not an issue to normal men.

  10. 10

    I agree with Adrian – I can’t see why you need to mention it at ANY point.As Evan says, just start dating someone and when the time comes that you are ready to have sex with them just have sex! Some people are more skilled than others in bed, but to be honest, skill in bed is something women look for in men, as it does have more effect on their level of satisfaction, but most men actually aren’t that fussy –   as long as you have a pair of boobs and the use of all 4 limbs they will likely not even notice any difference! Ok, I exaggerate slightly but what you need to bear in mind is that sex with ANY new partner involves a bit of trial and error – you have to “feel your way” as it were, and so if you squeeze a bit too hard or too gently, or don’t quite match each other’s rhythms, then that would not be unusual   with someone you’ve never slept with before – you then just respond to their cues (faster/slower/higher/lower/ ” … call me Mr Krispy Kreme!!..”) and adjust, and on you go….

  11. 11

    In support of timing your announcement correctly, but from a totally different perspective ~~

    In the past few years I have experienced a few men telling me that they thought I was super-religious or possibly frigid or maybe sexually traumatized . . . because I didn’t behave according to their template.    I only heard these thoughts after they learned the real reason why I had been taking my time getting more physically involved with them.    See, I have herpes and I wait with explaining that until it’s obvious that we both want to have sex and our interactions have met my thresholds for desiring more intimacy.

    I happen to be very sexually experienced, but a man (or woman) tends to project his own ideas on his potential partner until he gets to know her better.    It’s the getting-to-know-each-other-better that makes for a much better intimate experience.    As in, by the time you feel like really getting it on with a guy, he’ll probably be motivated to be caring and tender with you.    In that way, the std has a silver lining in making my choices much more appropriate for myself and therefore much more likely to be fabulous.

    I think you just haven’t matched up yet with a guy who turns you on and who really appreciates you.    I also think that virginity would only be a turn-off for a guy who doesn’t have enough confidence in his skills or doesn’t have enough interest to carry through the act to satisfaction, because he might feel responsible for bringing skill and satisfaction for both parties.    That’s a challenge, but I know plenty who would totally be up for that challenge.

  12. 12

    Whoever told you guys don’t want to be with virgins? That is ridiculous. If someone is saving herself for marriage, I think that is incredibly admirable and beautiful (my wife, a great woman, did just that, and I am honored that she did). But even in your case when that is not your  motive, your ability to not “give in” for so long    shows that you have willpower and self-respect. Any decent guy will find that very desirable.  Heck, if I weren’t married, I’d be giving you *my* number 🙂 But don’t believe that nonsense those other people (who may have regrets about how they lost their virginity) are saying about guys’ preferences.


  13. 13

    I smell a lot of lies here. Or should I call it trolling lol. Lies, lies; all lies. If you’re a woman who is decent looking and half sane and you’re above 22 years old and a virgin, consider this: either an obsessive admirer who you may have no idea exist is stalking you and has access to your phone or you’re a hermit. A guy can be a virgin late into life; a woman? Puleeez!

    1. 13.1

      But aren’t you the troll for calling every female commenter before you a liar?

      Every woman is not an Amber Heard in looks and every reason a woman is still a virgin over 30 doesn’t have to do with no guy finding her attractive.

    2. 13.2

      Why would we lie if we live in a culture that shames virgins? To seem “cool”? To again approval? I don’t think so.

      Some of us want a real connection that includes physical  AND emotional intimacy.

      Sue me.


  14. 14

    I was a virgin later than most (till I was 26). I was shy and awkward around men and really just didn’t have an opportunity to have sex any earlier. My virginity  began to feel like a weight and I just wanted to get rid of it. And eventually I did, when I met a hot foreign guy in a club and we made out all night and I went back to his. I never told him I was a virgin, and it was an enjoyable night, there was no pain.

    Now, ten years later, I am in a relationship and sex is a fun part of our life. I have no regrets about that one night stand though – I felt great after I lost my virginity and had no sadness about the one night stand component of it. I have had other short flings I regretted, but I never regretted that first one.

  15. 15
    justin simard

    I just want to say you have nothing to be ashamed of being a Virgin and if it helps you out I’m a 36 year old Male Virgin and I think some of you are wrong I personally would like to date a virgin girl myself I guess it’s just what I believe in and I’m waiting for that someone special in my life anyway that’s just my input and that’s about all I have to say for now

  16. 16
    Marissa Chaseau

    Being a twenty two year old virgin without having sex or being in relationship its really a challenge for me hence I am confused if there’s not men who be in to me a virgin girl  

  17. 17
    The mystery

    Number 1 I don’t know you and you don’t know me. So I have nothing to gain from you and you have nothing to loose if you did not read my comment. But I would like to say that you have done well as a woman to avoid sexual relations with a man. Till this age. It shows you are able to make good decisions. Now don’t go and throw that reputation you have all away. I mean even a fly can cause a bottle of perfume to stink, so a little folly can destroy great wisdom and honor. With that I mind don’t be hasty in making decisions which could cost you a lot in the future. Your friends may sound like a good source of advise, but you are not like them. You have made different choices than they have, and you are in a different standing than they are. If you listen to them you will become like them, is that what you want? Is that the reason for yes to want to get laid? Just to be like your friends? Remember, just because you are a virgin today it doesn’t mean that you can’t be a prostitute tomorrow. From virgin to prostitute… Yes it does happen. I mean what do you want to do with pay and play? Prostitutes get paid, they don’t pay, so that’s an option below the reasoning of the worst prostitute in the world. If you want to lie to a man about your virginity, even if the man had good intentions for sleeping with you, you may end up being like any other girl because you can’t be trusted. I mean why should you loose your credibility just to sleep with someone? That is something a harlot would do… Yes I would expect that from a harlot and I would not be offended at the end of the day. Atleast this kind of reasoning is on the level of a harlot. Many of them would do such a thing. But you have done different, don’t throw it all away because of foolish council. Yes you were not abstaining because of marriage, it was not your initial intention. But also you can’t say you were abstaining for these foolish ideas you have been fed with. You are a grown woman,but it does not mean that you are allowed to make bad decisions. Look there are virtuous men in this world, men who are looking to put a ring on the finger of someone who has your qualities. Why destroy what is good? If you want to,you can now remain a virgin until someone who wants to marry you will come. We are not saying don’t have sex, but we are saying that marriage is the perfect place to do it. Wait for a man who will make an honest woman out of you. Don’t conform to the standards of this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. God approves of this. I mean what kind if advice would you give to your daughter? Certainly you would tell her to do better than what you have mentioned… Therefore it would be good to teach by example. This is not given to you alone Jordan, but to other virgins who will be in your shoes in the future and they come across this post. As for me, I care very little about how I may be evaluated by any human authority. I carry the death of Christ. The one who was crucified.

  18. 18

    I want to know which countries allow women to pay to play. Count me in! Road trip, ladies? (sorry, Evan, if this offends anyone, but I couldn’t help myself)

    1. 18.1

      So far my list is Amsterdam and Australia. I’m flying into Amsterdam on my way to Germany later this yr…but won’t be there longer than 30 min.

  19. 19

    I am 27 and a virgin and I am considered pretty   … it was mostly because of religious reasons plus I had a strict upbringing . I didn’t have my first kiss till 24   I have made out and stuff … but it’s not worth it for the wrong person now I’m at the age where I do want a man not so much in a rush to loose it , I want to wait for marriage but with the right guy . My body and mindset had changed .

  20. 20
    Manahi Te Hiakai Gardiner

    Hey girl, I’m 19….yup I lost my virginity last year when I was 18 and I can emphasize with you the feeling of not having any sex, you feel that you’ve missed out…excuse the pun…on eating beautiful custard. But just know that any guy would probably wanna steal you away and be in bed with you. But also know what you want, when you meet up with a beautiful guy just be you and he will love and accept you. As for me, I am a man and I can hear your heart and soul and I would date you and I would be inclined to take you back to my place and seize the opportunity and do it many times because I would love you if I was your man. But I live far away but if you have a man like that, I really think you will be fine.

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