Lots has been written about casual sex and the hookup culture – to the point where it has to be very confusing for people to navigate the booty call waters themselves. But a new study points out what most of us could have probably figured out for ourselves:
“A new study published in the journal Social Psychological & Personality Science suggests that the potential positive and negative outcomes of casual sex are not mutually exclusive: If you’re the type of person who enjoys engaging in casual sex, then hooking up can boost your self-esteem and life satisfaction. But if you’re not that kind of person, then it won’t.”
In other words, do whatever the hell you want. Whatever makes you feel good. Amen to that.
If you’re a woman who sleeps with a guy and thinks that it means he likes you, wants to see you again, or that he’s going to be your boyfriend, you’re playing a dangerous game of Russian Roulette with your emotions.
Because I have repeatedly cautioned women to not have sex outside of a committed relationship, I have been accused of being anti-sex or a slut-shamer. Couldn’t be farther from the truth. I am many things, but a hypocrite isn’t one of them. If a woman wants to sleep with a guy on the first date just because it’s fun and she has no attachment to whether she sees him again, well, let’s just say I would have loved to have met her ten years ago. No judgment here.
My only point – now backed up by the above study – is that random sex may be fun for some people (often extroverted men) but it isn’t fun for others – and those are the women to whom I’m offering my advice. If you’re a woman who sleeps with a guy and thinks that it means he likes you, wants to see you again, or that he’s going to be your boyfriend, you’re playing a dangerous game of Russian Roulette with your emotions. If you are going to stare at your phone for his next text, check his Facebook page, browse his dating profile to see if he’s online, and stop seeing all other men because you like the guy you slept with casually, maybe casual sex is not for you.
But, “with sexually permissive students, those who successfully engaged in casual sex reported higher rates of self-esteem and lower rates of depression and anxiety than those who failed to seal the deal.” Basically, hook-up culture is good for people who like hook-up culture, just like marriage is good for people who want monogamy and steak is good to people who like steak. Full article can be seen here:
Can you handle the consequences of casual sex? Or did you try it and found that it hurt too much?