I spoke with my client, Jessica, the other day, for our weekly coaching session.
When we started on the Private Coaching, Jessica was despondent.
Actually, she was past despondent. She was MISERABLE.
She had just come off of a first online date in which she learned that the man was a former felon (or, as she calls him: “a murderer”).
She had a man who was crazy about her and she didn’t want to get hurt. Suddenly there were REAL stakes involved.
I spent an entire session talking Jessica off the ledge, reminding her that this bad experience was no reason to quit, reassuring her that there are quality men just like her out there.
For a cute, 32-year-old professional with no small amount of ego, Jessica found this very hard to believe. Especially given her recent dating experience.
She wanted to quit.
“Sorry,” I told her. “I don’t do quitters.”
I asked her to take a leap of faith that I knew what I was talking about – that I wasn’t some sort of professional charlatan selling false hope to lonely women.
Really. I’m not!
Jessica took the leap of faith.
Three weeks later, she had a boyfriend. No kidding.
The point of this email is not to explain to you HOW she got him. (After all, if you wanted to learn, you’d have gotten Finding the One Online already.)
The point is that Jessica now had a bigger problem than dating a murderer.
She had a man who was crazy about her and she didn’t want to get hurt.
Suddenly there were REAL stakes involved.
There were feelings. There was something to lose.
I have this some version of this conversation with my coaching clients every day, and it’s always a very slight variation on the same theme.
You meet a “great guy”.
You “want to know where things are going”...
...so that you “don’t waste your time”
...on a man “who may not want to commit”
...and has the “potential to hurt you” just like your last boyfriend.
And because of all of these fears, you immediately start tensing up, looking for red flags, trying to get clarity, making sure the other shoe doesn’t drop.
Suddenly, the excitement and passion of new love is replaced by...