Is It You Or Is It Men?
It recently occurred to me that I have two types of clients:
1) Women who are their own greatest problem — too busy, too picky, too egotistical, too shy, too negative, too passive, etc.
2) Women who are absolutely delightful with only one issue: they’re terrible at picking men.
Who do you think is easier for me to assist?
Look in the mirror and ask yourself — am I too picky, too egocentric, too passive — or have I simply never paid attention to the men who were excited about me?
Is it easier to tell a busy woman who is married to her job to take more time for love? To tell a 39-year-old woman who looks great for her age that she should open up to slightly older men instead of hoping for a hot 35-year-old? To convince a woman with a history of emotional abuse that men are not the enemy?
Or is it far simpler to teach women to value men who value them in return?
Yeah, it’s not such a mystery after all.
I’ve got three clients right now who are on the cusp of relationships after less than two months of working with me. They’re different, but their stories are the same.
They range from 40-51 years old and are bright, likeable, and attractive.
They had some bad experiences, made some mistakes, wasted some time on the wrong men, and, after reading Why He Disappeared, inquired about working with me. All fit neatly into my second category of delightful women with bad pickers.
And once we rebranded them on Match.com, and let the process take its course, it was only a matter of time until good things started to happen. (To be fair, one of these women met her guy through Speed Dating, so I can’t take credit.)
But what each of them is experiencing is what it feels like to be valued by a man.
Their new guys call them every day. They pay for every meal. They say they’re starting to fall for them. They’re taking down their profiles. They’re talking about a future.
My clients can’t believe that it was that easy to find men who would treat them so kindly and consistently.
But that’s not because those men aren’t out there.
That’s because my clients never chose those men before.
Still, my delightful women worry about screwing up — what if I say something wrong, what if it’s not right, what if, what if, what if.
You know what I tell them?
When a guy is into you, you CAN’T do anything wrong.
Just appreciate his effort and make him feel rewarded for being so good to you.
Yes, it’s that easy.
So look in the mirror and ask yourself — am I too picky, too egocentric, too passive — or have I simply never paid attention to the men who were excited about me?
If it’s the latter, you’re a lot closer to love than you even realize.