You Want Someone Who Sticks By You Through Tough Times

husband gives flowers to his wife at the hospital
My client Christie just told me a horrible story about her fiancé pulling away from her.

My client May recently informed me that her on-again/off-again boyfriend was off-again.

My client Selma has been so hurt by her last guy that she’s keeping all her relationships casual.

If you empathize with them, and you find that your love life, too, is a perpetual challenge, it doesn’t have to be that way. Really. It doesn’t.

By learning about men and what it’s fair to expect from them, you can let go of your frustration and confusion instantly.

It’s easy to be in a relationship when everything is perfect.

It’s easy to be in a relationship when everything is perfect.

You discover something new about your partner every day.

You send flirty texts when you’re out of town.

You can’t stop thinking about him – or the great sex you’re having.

You leave your weekends open, knowing that he’ll fill them with his presence.

This is new love, and truly, there’s nothing better.

But let’s say you’re riding high, when suddenly you get laid off? Or your mom gets sick and has to go to the hospital?

Any normal woman is going to have a rough time with either scenario. Feelings of sadness, powerlessness, and impotence. Depression, frustration, and low-self esteem.

At such times, you can’t be expected to be a ton of fun to be around, nor to have very much to give to a partner.

Which means that a man has be really invested in you to weather the bad stretches.

A fair-weather boyfriend – Mr. Right Now – doesn’t want to bother with driving you to the hospital or helping you with your resume.

A man who doesn’t support you when you’re at your weakest is not a man to keep.

He just wants you to be fun, spontaneous, and easygoing – none of which describe your emotions when you’re dealing with illness or unemployment.

As awful as it is to recover from such setbacks, it’s even worse when the person you’re dating pulls away or isn’t supportive of you.

In a way, it almost feels worse than the event itself.

Suddenly, you’re not just obsessing about how hard it is to hold it together emotionally, but you’re being torn apart by your growing distance from your “partner”.

This is no way to live life.

And I know because I have had MANY clients go through this.

One woman had to put life on hold to help her son through drug rehab.

Another struggled for months with the illness and death of her beloved mother.

Another has been out of work for nearly a year and can’t find a position like her old job.

Each and every one suffered through boyfriends (in one instance a fiancé!) who weren’t fully supportive of them through their darkest days.

And what did each of these amazing women want to do?


Sorry. Wrong answer.

THIS is how he acts when he’s asked to be selfless.

THIS is how he acts when he doesn’t get his way.

THIS is how he acts when the chips are down.

So why would you want to commit to a man who doesn’t have the decency to put your needs first when you need him the most?

Because you love him?

Because he’s cute and smart and funny and successful?


You just got a glimpse of the rest of your life.

A man who doesn’t support you when you’re at your weakest is not a man to keep.

As tough as it is to let him go, he’s done you a favor. He’s shown you his stripes. And he’s shown them to you early enough that you can move along.

I had a girlfriend who dumped me after I struggled in business in 2004. I’m not going to defend myself and say that I was a ball of laughs. I was pretty anxious and challenging to be around. But she gave up on me when I needed her most. That said everything to me.

Imagine you’re married and this happens.

He pulls away when you get depressed at your work situation.

He refuses to communicate when you want to know where your relationship’s headed.

He leaves you when you get breast cancer.

By ignoring your guy’s pitiful reaction to life’s challenges, you’re signing on for deep heartbreak in the future.

Don’t do it.

Your type should start with the man who treats you the best… everything else comes in second.

How a partner responds to crisis and communicates through challenges says everything about the future you will have together. Does he crumble? Withdraw? Bail out?

If so, consider yourself lucky. You just dodged a major bullet.

Now I’d like you to think about the partner who sticks with you through your trauma.

What does it say about the partner who puts up with your suffering?

What does it say about the partner who cheers you up when you’re down?

What does it say about the partner who believes in “for better or for worse”?

It says that he is selfless.

It says that he loves you unconditionally.

It says that he is willing to put your needs first.

What relevance does all this heavy stuff have to do with you?

Well, you know that it would be wonderful to find true love. But it seems so far away, so impossible.

It’s not impossible.

It happens every day.

In the past few years, it happened to my sister, my four best friends, and me. Not to mention HUNDREDS of my clients and readers.

And if there’s a common thread between those relationships, it’s that all of us let go of how it was “supposed” to look and found the partner who accepted us at our worst.

What we found were spouses who share the same values, the same humor, and had the same dedication to building a life together that we did.

If you’ve ever had a partner who didn’t want you at your BEST…who wouldn’t commit to you even when you were 100% happy …think about what it would be like to have a partner who would run from you when you’re struggling.

Only by putting kindness and consistency above all other qualities – looks, money, height, weight, age – only then can you find a love this deep and true.

It’s easy to wonder where these kind people are, but I’m telling you, they’re everywhere.

You just might not consider them your “type”.

Your type should start with the man who treats you the best… everything else comes in second.

While it takes little work to find Mr. Right, with me by your side, it’s a much quicker (and more exciting!) ride.

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  1. 1

    Back when my wife and I were dating, I’d sit in her room with her while she rocked back and forth with severe menstrual cramps. I wasn’t always sure what to do or say, but I sat with her. I wanted to show her that I was willing to spend time with her even when she felt lousy.

    1. 1.1

      very thoughtful . Lucky lady !

    2. 1.2

      Wow I really appreciate this post. I just went through something very similar to this. I was a full-time working single mother and had moved my boyfriend in the house who was also working and then lost his job and I took care of all the bills and bought him a car. He was really sweet and very attentive during the good times, there were small red flags that I had ignored about him. One day I had shortness of breath and couldn’t sleep for 4 days because of my shortness of breath and I couldn’t keep food down, so I had to go to the hospital and I had to actually ask him to take me to the hospital. And he just dropped me off at the hospital. He went back home and lay down on his lazy ass and watch TV. Instead of seeing what was wrong with me. That was a turning point and our relationship in my mind. Because if that were him in the hospital I will be there by his side. My family came later that night and asks where was he and I told him he dropped me off. When I talk to him later that night he says I should have called him if it was something serious and he would have came back up to the hospital. That night they diagnosed me with heart and renal failure. The next day I hadn’t seen him for a while so I called and he was driving around in my car, my car is newer than the one I bought him, acting like nothing is wrong and said that he was making his rounds and was going to call off of work later that day, mind you it was his new job that he had gotten. So I asked him why didn’t he just come see me in the morning and then go to work and so he turned around and came to see me but still didn’t go to work. He went back home and laid back down. Before I went into the hospital I gave him some money to go along with the money that he already had to pay off his personal bills. For some reason while I was in the hospital he kept asking me do you need me to take care of any bills or anything ? Do I need to go to the bank and cash your checks?   I told him no. Because in my head, I kept thinking, of the fact that he initially just drop me off at the hospital and I was sick almost died. Let me know he really didn’t have my back. For a few days he kept asking those same questions, and the answer was no. He finally asked if I could give him some more money, I found out that he blew the money that he had of his own and was trying to be slick and get some of my money while he so-called supposedly take care of the bills, but I kept refusing. Then a couple nights go pass and he comes up and stays with me at the hospital all night and then before he leaves he asked me if I had $20 or something. I told him no. So he left. My feelings grow cold as he grew distant. He took his things and went to go stay with his friend. But he left his dog and dog poop all over my basement and my house smells horrible. I was in the hospital for a total of 3 weeks. After he left my children cleaned up the house really good for me before I came home from the hospital. They helped and supported me which I really appreciate it greatly. That let me know how good of a job I’ve done as a mother and how compassionate they both are. But for some reason a week later I allowed him to come back for about three days. He bought Sunday dinner and cooked on Easter and we went to church I thought okay we’re on a roll here things maybe good again. But I still sisnt totally trust him. Monday came and he didnt go to work, Tuesday came he didn’t go to work and then he asked me for some more money, I told him that I didn’t have it, I only had enough for rent and gas to get to my appointments. I am not working right now due to dialysis and all my appointments that I have and he knows this. So we get into this big argument and he claims that I’m faking with clear evidence of a catheter sticking out of my chest coming from my heart for dialysis. So he finally says he was just happy sleeping on the floor at his friends house and I told him it would be better if he was not here so I can concentrate on getting better. And so he left that night, bit his dog is still here and his things are still here. I am giving him a time limit to get all this stuff so I never want to see him again. My lesson in this is to definitely watch closely if I decide to get into a relationship again that the person really cares for me like I would for them. It’s been 2 days since I saw him and more peace is in my home. 😊

      1. 1.2.1

        Nikeda, I don’t know how long ago this was posted but  1st I want to tell you that you are truly amazing and very inspiring! I am very sorry you had to go through this, its just horrible.  While reading your experience, I could really feel your pain and I want you to know a few things. As woman, we tend to take the whole weight of the world on our shoulders along with everyone else’s weight no matter what we’re going through. When a man and a woman both get sick with or without having children, she’s taking care of everything 1st before she takes care of herself (Most times, she doesn’t even have the time, or  a choice to do even that. ) It’s in our nature and it’s just how most of us are designed. It made me so upset reading what you’ve been through and that he had the audacity to even imply that you were faking it after being hospitalized for 3 weeks with a catheter coming out of your body. It broke my heart that he wasn’t at that hospital by your side when you needed him the most. I don’t know what your situation is with your children but even if he had to stay home to help care for the children, he should have arranged to come visit you a lot more often. I could be 100% wrong here so if I am I apologize…from the sounds of it I don’t think he was there with the children much or if at all. One of the many red flags was that he just dropped you off and it wasn’t until he wanted money, that he came to stay with you. I bet that made you feel just absolutely terrible. The fact that he left the mess from his dog AND left his dog there as if you needed one more thing to take care of and deal with upon returning home from being very ill is so messed up! You sound like an amazing and strong woman. No-one should have stress added in this type situation. Some may call this a ‘blessing in disguise’ because of the situation you now know his true colors and don’t have to waist anymore time or stress on him. If none of this happened and you guys were to get married and this came up during the marriage, that would have been devastating. I am very proud of you for being strong and cutting ties with him. You deserve a real man who would do anything for you because you are a very good woman and give everything to those you love. Again, I don’t know when this was posted or how long it’s been. A lot may have changed since this. I hope that he came back and decided to grow up and be the man you needed if not I hope you have found a love that you deserve. I would love an update! Thank you for your inspiration! I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t going through something similar. Prior to reading this post I was lost on what to do about the situation I’m faced with and didn’t know how to approach it. I feel a lot better now and I know exactly what I need to do. Thank you again for sharing, this helped me so much! I pray that you’re doing better and that your road to recovery was or is a smooth one. Anyone that has you in their life is truly blessed.

    3. 1.3


      I hope your wife values you like gold because men like you just don’t exist anymore

    4. 1.4

      I only wish my boyfriend would do this. And going to have shoulder surgery tomorrow morning and he said he will drop me off and come home and sleep when I need him with me . Your wife is a lucky woman

  2. 3

    Evan –

    You have written some great articles over the years, but this one has to be the best of the lot (in my opinion, anyway). Really insightful!  

    What you describe is  incredibly important in all relationships, not just in “love”/marriage/long-term partnerships.

    Anyone can be a good partner when the going is good (a.k.a. “fair-weather friend”).
    But it’s when the going gets tough that you see the real person / true character of some one.

    As Rudyard Kipling said:

    “If you can meet with triumph and disaster
    And treat those two imposters just the same;
    Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
    And – which is more – you’ll be a Man my son!”

    Thanks for reminding me  of what really DOES count when it comes to finding Mr. Right!

    1. 3.1

      This is my best for sure

  3. 4

    Thanks, Evan. I love reading your blog and finding new ways to appreciate my wonderful guy. Nowhere near perfect (just like me) but over and over again, a truly awesome human being and pretty stellar boyfriend. Thanks for helping me continue to see that.

  4. 5

    Evan, I just have to say it: this is the very best blog post you’ve ever made.

  5. 6

    Great post.   A point I want to add: I also believe that  in many cases you don’t get to see the true character of a man until you  witness how he handles  a life challenge or crisis of his own.   I’ve known men who seem to  sail ok in good days, but  the moment he loses his job  for example, he either turns into  selfish-to-the-core  monster  or completely loses his will of strength.   If he has to struggle in anyway, he couldn’t care the life/death of you.   You don’t even exisit for him.   Men like that are ALSO NOT KEEPERS.   They either can’t handle the hard times, or they love themselves SO MUCH MORE than you.

    1. 6.1
      David Grant Raby


      Great comment.   But wanted to add one thought. I know a Woman who lost her job to outsourcing and did not want to go back to live with the parents so she found a Guy to keep her and give her a place to live and buy her stuff and take her out in exchange for her giving him nothing more than companionship plus adult fun (what does that say about her). On the other hand there is very few Women that would do the reverse of this if a Guy lost his job to outsourcing. Seems is one sided in-equality of Women wanting a Man to Keep them and/or Stand By them BUT Men never having a Woman willing to Keep them and/or Stand By them as either not hook-up to start with or bail for the BBD (Bigger Better Deal).


      1. 6.1.1

        To David,


        you sound like like a jerk. There is no boyfriend that ever helped me out and no man helps a woman unless she is totally hot and 20 and guy is 90. Men are not generous! It’s a fact! They do not value monogamy and can’t devote themselves to anything long term wout physical rewards. Monetary or sex

      2. 6.1.2

        The truth is that if a man is willing to give a woman what she needs in a man the return to him is going to be 100%. Even women who are cautious and leary of relationships will learn to trust with consistency. What does she need? Love, connection, loyalty, devotion, partnership, honesty, etc. If she is healthy enough to recognize that your love for her is genuine   then she will give you back double for your trouble…gladly!

  6. 7

    @6 – you have made a spectacular point.   I’ve been going through some hard times  with health issues and family issues and my boyfriend has been there 100 percent for me.   At the same time, I work hard not to let it interfere with our relationship.   I know that life goes on and you just have to do the best you can to be there everyday.   He is a gift and I intend to appreciate him and enjoy him – through the hard times and good times.

  7. 8

    This post brought tears to my eyes. My boyfriend is currently unemployed and actively seeking gainful employment. I have helped him redraft both his resume and cover letter, and just yesterday I contacted a close friend who is going to set up a couple of interviews for him. His unemployment is the only factor holding us back from tying the knot. I love him deeply. I used the sound advice you offer in “Why He Disappeared” and our relationshiphas grown closer over time (I was one of the first 25 to order your book). No, he is not lazy. Yes, he is a well-educated professional. Yes, I am honored to be his girl. Today’s advice is truly golden.

    1. 8.1

      I’m unemployed, homeless, typically I don’t have much friends since my foreign status. I cannot get a job. I love my boyfriend, so much. He lives with parents currently and is still looking for a job. He does actually work from home and got cash flow. He’s a great man! However I’m bothered by few things . During my struggle I’ve tried making him understand about things I’m battling with. Times where I’d even go to sleep without food. My phone bill is down so we are no longer communicating. I live in and out people’s houses. He seems to be okay with it and he never make efforts to help or direct me. He’s there for but I don’t think he understands that my situation is critical and I will need financial help not to pay for my phone bill but to show that he’s concerned about my situation. I’ve through hell people expecting to sleep with them since they are helping me. He’s comfortable with other man supporting me and I’ve never heard him say that   he will try his best to help me during this hardship.

  8. 9

    SOPHIE  #6 – OMG, were you there when it happened to me??? LOL   I couldn’t have said it better cuz that’s EXACTLY what happened.   He suffered setbacks with his finances (cut in work  hours), Real Estate market crash (foreclosure) and instead of allowing me to be a friend to him or manning up and focusing on what his next move needed to be, he became that “selfish-to-the-core” monster.   Told me that he wanted to date other women, became a complete jackass.   Cut me completely out of his life and went from calling every day 2-3 times a day to once a week and having the nerve to ask for sex after turning against me!   HA!   I CUT HIM OFF and stopped even having him over for a year and a half until I finally told him to stop calling me all together.  I gave him back his ring and severed all ties.  I’m so glad that I did not allow him to use me.   I’m so at peace because of my decision and I haven’t looked back.   He on the other hand stays in touch with my family, (whatever).   Like you said, he was not a keeper.   I’d rather be alone in peace than to be miserable with somebody who as  Sophie so eloquently put it “couldn’t care the life/death of me”.   Oh and don’t get me started on the “loving themselves so much more than you”, this guy became an arrogant, conceited jerk!   I couldn’t believe what I was witnessing.   After 8 years of him not being able to get enough of me, one setback and he fell apart and basically said, “screw you, it’s all about me”.    

    Ok, I digress   . . . . .good post Evan!

  9. 10

    I have picked my friends based on that principle for years..

    I had a difficult time once, when I really needed the emotional support of my friends, and those friends that are left from that time, and those I have met afterwards are chosen based on that reliableness.  
    I don’t have that many friends, only 5.. rest are acquaintances.
    I have a male friend from that time who helps me with my CV, and all that.. but no, since he is not sexually exciting in my eyes. I gave it up after trying to date him for a summer, and allowed him to find someone who finds him hot… And we still are good friends, and our mutual supportative friendship has lasted for almost decade. =).. and his girlfriend is ok with it, as she understands that history is history, and she is also good friends with her most exes.

    Why would I settle less when looking for a man for myself?
    Friend in need, is a friend in deed. If he doesn’t fullfill my requirements, he is not to be taken seriously, and I pass him.. no matter how hot.

    But still on the other side – a man needs to be hot, or he is just a friend.  

    I don’t need a man who is educated, not who has money.. nor do I care if he wants children, all those are secondary in my opinion. Important facts are good character, reasonably similar look of life and intellectual level AND sexual hotness.  
    I am not settling with my essential requirements, I’m rather single than in a relationship that doesn’t satisfy me in all important levels.

  10. 11

    To Tish #9, it happened to twice.   One turned against me by trying to make money off me; the other wilted into a state of  complete uselessness. I tried to comfort them,  encourage  them, care for them in every way – I was so emotionally exhausted I was sinking with them.   At that moment, I saw the true color of their character: selfish men who are fundamentally only interested in their  own survival  or men who are intrinsically weak, incapable of  being  a strong anchor for himself or for YOU in  YOUR times of need.   These men simply don’t make good life partners  because life challenges are both  inevitable and bountiful.   Aren’t you glad we find this out BEFORE  marriage??    I dodged a bullet as Evan said.  

    1. 11.1

      Me too

  11. 12

    Thank you Evan for a great post!   I agree with the other posters here that this is one of your best.   I am reminded here why I am no longer dating the jerk who viciously dumped me and then immediately started seeing a well-to-do widow when I was a struggling grad student/single mom with two kids. His complaint was that I never had any money to do things.   His “sugar mama” now takes him on expensive vacations.   WHATever.   MAJOR bullet dodged there. I am also reminded that even though I have been out of work now since March, my new guy is still supportive, still sticks with me, and hasn’t disappeared.   He offers suggestions on my job searches, help on interviewing, and is there to listen to my rejection rants.   Oh yeah, and he is loving, calls everyday, and we see each other weekly, even though we live over an hour away from one another.   He is fully functioning emotionally and physically, as he calls it, and I couldn’t be happier!   Now, if I could just land that dream job, life would be perfect … 🙂

  12. 13

    What if HE is the one going through trauma? What is he wants time alone to deal with his trauma? Then you are the one being asked to be selfless, and not get your way, and give him what he needs. He is not there for you, he doesn’t want to be around you, but he is asking you to support him by backing away.

    Is it selfish to judge him for wanting time and space to deal with his own career/family difficulties? Or should we be more supportive, as women, of men’s need for space and time to themselves when they ask for it at difficult times?

    Or is the fact that he wants to be alone to deal with his traumas a bad sign? Evan?

    1. 13.1

      I’d like to hear feedback on this, too. I was dating a man with clinical depression, diagnosed 20 yrs ago. While he was very gentle, respectful and supportive of me for the first 3 mos, I was of him as well and continued to be. But the dynamic began to change. True mental illness adds another dimension to this dynamic. He was not actively in treatment, meds or counseling. He would pull away when something triggered him, but wouldn’t tell me the ‘what or why’, even conversations we had and it was something I’d said. I extended grace and patience as he worked through this 2 or 3 times. He was able to work through it and have more clarity. His thinking would become distorted and completely misunderstand discussions at times, which can happen to anyone. So he’d withdraw. However, if I struggled with something or became hurt by a comment or action of his, he couldn’t handle it and again would withdraw and blame me for ‘persecuting’ him. It felt as though it was all about him and his needs. He functioned from fear and worry and it felt like walking on egg shells and being judged for ever bringing up something that he was uncomfortable discussing. It became a pattern and took a toll on me eventually…all within about 7 mos. I ended the relationship. IMO, I think there is a time to give someone space when they need it. However, if someone is married or in a LTR, my desire and need is to work as team, give and take rather than just check out and be isolated. At least I can’t live with that type of roller coaster over and over. Is there hope with treatment? Perhaps. Time will tell. Part of this is selfishness though too. It still hurts no matter how you slice it and see if for what it is.

  13. 14

    I have been reading your blog for  several months now  and have  finally accepted the fact that the man I thought I would  marry was not “The One”.   I’m not young. I have been  married and divorced  twice and have a grown son.   My parents had a strong marriage and a wonderful friendship in spite of the fact that my mom had MS for 25 years. She was a total  invalid for the last 5 years of her life.   My dad died a year ago at 85  after spending  21 years by himself.   My parents had their ups and downs.   My dad was an alpha male and my mother adored him, but she was the tough one when push came to shove. My parents did not bail on each other and at times it would have been easy to do just that.  They showed my sister and I by example what unconditional love truly is.

    I am so glad that you are sharing your thoughts on this subject. I wish someone had said to me at 23 that I should expect more and wait until I find it.   I have told my son the same thing.   Fortunantly, the ex he wanted to marry showed her   true colors ahead of time, saving him a lot of grief.   I hope he will benefit from my mistakes.

  14. 15

    Like I said when I dumped my last boyfriend who didn’t want to sell his house or give up his things to commit or put up with my ex having cancer and the terror that ensued on my family – it is a heckuva time to break up but an even worse time to settle and I dumped him without a flinch after 1.5 years. Now, looking back, I think you can see this trait early on – how likely are they to be inconvenienced to fit you in the schedule and to mesh to your life? How hard do you have to work to “keep” them happy?

    Dodge a bullet is right! I love your blog because it shows I am not the only one on this difficult journey to find MRRIGHT for [email protected]

  15. 16

    Bad times in a relationship are supposed to draw a couple together.   Frequently, however, we read about couples who separate and divorce after he loses his job or the serious illness of a child.
    When you love your mate, IMO you want to be there to help them weather a personal crisis.   A person who withdraws or disappears when emotionally needed is not someone with whom you want to spend your life.

  16. 17

    This happened to me recently, I ended up in hospital  having an emergency operation and after leaving my boyfriend a message on his voice mail to let him  know where I was, I received an sms saying  “poor darling etc etc” and then I didn’t hear from him again for nearly 4 weeks.

    He rang and asked how I was and could he see me again soon. “Gee sweetie, haven’t heard from you for ages, can’t wait to see you again,  let me check my schedule … Oh, let me see, I should be free sometime in 2015 …”
    He said he is so sorry, where did the time go, busy with work, blah blah blah!

    What a jerk! And what a good thing I found out now before I got too invested in this man.
    Evan’s advice is spot on as usual. Dump the dick!

  17. 18

    @Pd – what???!! 4 weeks later?? the total self-centerdness of some people never ceases to amaze me!   Thank god you found our sooner rather than later.

  18. 19

    What a great post! And I wish more people understood this concept. I completely agree with NN #10, I ended a lot of friendships in recent years after I went through a series of personal issues and setbacks in the span of 9 months. It showed me who my real friends were, but this is now a measure for ALL of my relationships.

    @JA#1, kudos to you, that was absolutely golden what you did for your wife while she had cramps.

  19. 20

    I was in a relationship with a woman for almost a year when all at the same time she found out her sister was dying of Lou Gehrig’s disease,her ex-hubby was taking her back to court to lower child support payments,and she was going through/starting menopause.All this happened within 3 weeks.Sadly she never gave me the chance to show how I would’ve supported her and helped her through this tough time.She stopped returning calls,accepting dates and faded away from me without even a “goodbye” right after New Year’s of course.Fast forward 5 years,now she lives with her mom,her sister has “passed”,she no longer gets child support because kids are older,I assume menopause is close to or IS over and I see her smiling face,horribly written profile on Match everyday saying she’s looking for a man that can have a “healthy relationship”??? Unbelievable !!!….LOL

    1. 20.1

      I bet she wanted to lean on you but couldn’t do it. She probably was too afraid to ask for your help… because of being let down by other people in the past.

    2. 20.2

      Yeah, we don’t know her history but I wouldn’t be too judgemental of her.   That kind of stress can really change a person and affect their decision making abilities.   It’s scary to be vulnerable and need that support only to find your trust was misplaced under normal circumstances.   Now imagine trying to do that when things are going to hell in a hand basket.

      it sounds like your ego is a still bruised from the rejection.   I’d just wish her well and be that supportive partner to someone else.

    3. 20.3

      You sound like a bitter individual who couldn’t accept that this woman wasn’t interested in you. Stalking her profile 5 years later and making comments about menopause? Get a grip and move on, she just wasn’t interested.

      1. 20.3.1

        Who the hell are you to judge this man?   You don’t him from Adam, and you have the nerve to tell him to get a grip?!   Maybe YOU should get a life!

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