Men Are Not Attracted to My Online Dating Profile. Help!

Men Are Not Attracted to My Online Dating Profile. Help!

I have read your “10 common mistakes” and note that say men don’t care how you look- they want kindness etc.

What I am finding on the dating sites is that they still expect older women to be gorgeous and not look their age. They take one look at my picture and don’t contact me. It’s very sad. They are missing out on things that younger women don’t have yet. What can you do to be noticed even when you’re in your sixties? Cheers.


I’m sympathetic to how you feel, Jenni.

I just want to publicly correct another directly quoted misperception.

I didn’t say “men don’t care about how you look,” at least not in any literal way.

I have a business that writes your online dating profile.

You know how many people read your profile if they find you unattractive?


EVERYTHING starts with looks – both online and offline – but especially online.

What I DID say is this:

Looks will get you in the door but it won’t keep you there.

Men reach out to women based on youth, beauty, body type, etc, and THEN determine how much they enjoy spending time with you platonically.

And since men choose wives based on how they FEEL around you, it’s in your best interest to be feminine, optimistic, confident, understanding and self-aware.

Attractiveness creates the opportunity. Relationship skills seal the opportunity.

Attractiveness creates the opportunity. Relationship skills seal the opportunity.

This, by the way, is not gender-based.

Women, too, get online and discover that over 80% of men are not attractive – especially as those men get into their sixties.

I can’t tell you how many complaints I’ve fielded – or how many articles I’ve written discussing this topic.

What I can say is that I have a secret weapon.

Her name is Kim Seltzer.

She’s an image consultant here in LA who works with women all over the world.

Literally EVERY woman in my Wednesday Love U group has employed her.

And she is nothing short of a miracle worker.

Simply by dressing you different, Kim will give you a shot of confidence that will completely change the way men see you – and, more importantly, how you see yourself.

Check out these before/afters.

Confession: Kim gave me style advice and had me throw out almost everything I wore when shooting Love U. I wouldn’t make a public recommendation like this if I didn’t believe in the transformative power of her work.

Click here to get your free body-type guide from Kim and $100 off a virtual makeover.

Let me know how it goes for you.

Best wishes,


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  1. 1

    Where are the before and afters, I dont see the link?

    1. 1.1
      Evan Marc Katz

      Having tech troubles. Sorry.

  2. 2

    I think there is some truth that older men expect women to age well. Huh? It must be the reason Botox, fillers, and surgery centers are booming. I bought into that stuff for awhile, but it’s expensive and I didn’t like looking “plastic.” Now, I just focus on staying out of the sun and using great skin care. It’s time to enjoy life!
    AND….find some fun clothes that tell YOUR story and how you want to portray yourself. I LOVE the before/after pics. WOW!!!

  3. 3

    I remember a bright blue V-neck sweater you wore during LoveU that looked SMOKIN’ on you. I hope you kept it!

  4. 4
    Free Date


    Putting up an impressive profile will draw more attention.A thorough profile with lots of details such as your likes, dislikes, something about you, your past life, your education and stuff like that will definitely attract the other person. As they say that a picture is worth a thousand words so make sure you put up a remarkable snap of your self on the dating site. You can definitely take the help of your friends or family members to make your profile impressive and catchy.


    1. 4.1
      Yet Another Guy

      @Free Date

      As an older man who has a lot of older male friends, an impressive profile helps, but nothing is more important for an older women than looking younger than most of her contemporaries if she desires a peer-age man. Older men are open to dating older women, but they usually desire a woman who does not look every second of her age and some. For the most part, older men hate women who look matronly just as much as older women hate pot-bellied, poorly-dressed bald men (or men with bad haircuts). What the makeover shown above did was transform an older woman with a matronly appearance into an older woman with a more current appearance, which has the effect of making her look younger. The fact that she is sparkling in the second photo improves her desirability. Anyone who thinks that a well-written profile is more important than a youthful appearance (which is relative with respect to chronological age) on a dating site is detached from reality.

      1. 4.1.1

        I agree as a woman who used to do a ton of online dating in my 30s, engaged now. I would say 80% of men never even read my profile they only looked at my pictures. If you don’t look good they will never get to your profile, that’s just reality. I was emailed by men twice my age at least once a day and then got nasty emails about not responding. Online dating is not for the unattractive. That is a VERY sad reality of life no matter your age. And men in their 60s are still looking for women in their 30s or at least women that look like they are. If the man met a nice lady in the grocery store who was in her 60s and average looking he may be more inclined to ask her out. But online it’s a competition about looks, and people (more men than women but not exclusively) when they get online seem to think they are entitled to someone looks wise that they would never actually be able to get in person. Hi I am a 65 year old man who is 5’3 and weights 400 pounds, and an entrepreneur. I will only look at profiles of women who are 8s or above. Why am I not meeting anyone? Why are women ignoring my messages?

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