A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What Internet Searches Say About You

For their new book A Billion Wicked Thoughts, neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam analyzed a billion web searches, a million individual search histories, a million Web sites, a million erotic videos, a million erotic stories, millions of personal ads, and tens of thousands of digitized romance novels. While not a study of people’s actual sexual experiences, the book offers something perhaps more interesting: a glimpse of the deeper sexual motivations of the human mind.

The fastest growing genre of erotic stories for women are stories about two heterosexual men having sex.

What they discovered is that what people say they like is often quite different from what they look for when nobody is watching.

Among their findings:

•The single-most popular search term users entered into PornHub isn’t “teens” or “cheerleaders,” but–get ready–“mom.”

• Men and women have hardwired sexual cues analogous to our hardwired tastes; there are sexual versions of sweet, sour, salty, savory, and bitter. But men and women are wired with different sets of cues.

• Though the male sexual brain is much more different from the female sexual brain than is commonly believed, the sexual brain of gay men is virtually identical to that of straight men.

•Women enjoy writing and sharing erotic stories with other women. The fastest growing genre of erotic stories for women are stories about two heterosexual men having sex.

•Men form their sexual interests during adolescence and rarely change. Women’s sexual interests are plastic and change frequently.

•When it comes to sexual arousal, men prefer overweight women to underweight women, and a significant number of men seek out erotic images of women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s.

These authors aren’t really studying sexual behavior. They’re just studying mouse clicks. Or are they? Read a review here and don’t be shy about leaving your comments below.

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Comments:

  1. 1
    Steve

    •When it comes to sexual arousal, men prefer overweight women to underweight women, and a significant number of men seek out erotic images of women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s.
     
    “Overweight” and “underweight” are slippery terms, but for the most part most straight men prefer women who are shaped like women.   The emaciated models of the fashion industry are the product of gay male fashion designers and straight women competing with each other to see who is the most thin.
     
    Since I was a teen I have found women who kept in shape and where in their mid 30s – mid 40s to be the most compelling.
     
     

    1. 1.1
      jim morrison

      Looks like women?  That depends, do you mean the typical american woman, that now roams the streets…significantly over weight?  That is not what most men want…not even close…but since the average female, nowadays, are much heavier than in other countries….Now if you’re talking the average female in Brazil, you might be onto something…but no guy wants a fat girl.  no guy…the only guys that go for that, are guys that can’t get anything else…and a thin girl are become harder and harder to find.

      1. 1.1.1
        Alpha Man

        As a man with impeccable taste and impeccable standards, I can tell you that a woman doesn’t have to be thin to be arousing. But she must have definition and firmness. The ideal is the hourglass figure. A woman’s gluts must be firm and round, and her breasts cannot sag. She must look healthy, to look sexy. Most American do not. The vast majority of American women fail these standards miserably. I can’t tell you how many American women describe themselves as curvy, when in reality, they have the shape of a blob. I simply cannot lower my standards, and I would rather relieve myself sexually, than expose my beautiful male body to a shapeless woman. I’m not in the least bit homosexual, that disgusts me as well. But if a woman doesn’t have a good looking body, she can’t do a thing for me. The reason why I am so unforgiving, is because a decent looking body is obtainable by anyone. It requires work, for some it might require hard work. The American woman knows that most American men are S.I.M.P.S with no standards, and will bed them, no matter how disgusting they are. But these same disgusting women desire a man with a body like Michelangelo’s David, and they don’t deserve it.

        1. Kat

          god … I wonder if Mr Impeccable taste looks impeccable himself . Evans comment  is hilarious !

  2. 2
    melie

    So as 50 something, it’s rather encouraging to know that men are more truthfully interested in women my age than in younger women.  As a curvaceous woman it is also encouraging to know that men prefer us to our thinner modelesque counterparts.  Yay!

    1. 2.1
      MM

      I wish, but sorry sister, a significant number just means large enough to count, far from “most.”

      1. 2.1.1
        m

        Okay, now … I just feel compelled to know what possible motive you would have had to say something like that, other than just to make her feel bad.

        Were you “just being honest”, a trope I’ve heard used far too frequently to justify blurting out something cruel?

        If so – “just being honest” to what end, if I may inquire?

      2. 2.1.2
        Kiwi

        MM … yet another guy on here putting down women . So your single opinion overrides what was stated in the article ?  Id love to see a picture of you since you are compelled to trash what Melie said

        1. Kanga

          It doesn’t really matter whether he said it to be honest or hurtful. The fact is men want to use young women.  It’s also the reason that I won’t trust a man around my 16 and 20 year old daughters. The comments on this websites and elsewhere about what men really want make me extremely aware that most men are gross arseholes who would use me to get to my daughters.  It’s the truth – they have said it enough, I have listened, read and watched and I believe it and I am on red alert always for  men wanting to use my gorgeous, innocent and lovely daughters for their disgusting desires. These men have told us what they want and as women we need to listen intently and respond. My response is to be a realist – they want my daughters and not me. Gross but true. Get used to it ladies and be very, very wary if you have daughters.  VERY WARY. They said it, they keep saying it, they are certain they want young girls and we should respond in the only way to be able to stop them – close the doors and warn our daughters to always be suspicious.  They brought it on themselves. They have shown their hand and we need to cut them off at the pass. For once be thankful for their ‘honesty’ – it gives us warning of how to keep our girls safe.

  3. 3
    sofka

    What I don’t get is how they know which searches are being made by men and which are being made by women?!  And which are made by heterosexuals and which by homosexuals?

  4. 4
    starthrower68

    The internet has made the world into a candy store.  Not commenting on whether its wrong or right, just making an observation.

  5. 5
    TheInBetweener

    “When nobody’s watching” I’m pretty sure nothing is off limits.
     
    Sheer curiosity or fantasy?

  6. 6
    Nicole

    @Starthrower…you are quite correct.
    The worst part of online dating is that it makes the world look like an all you can eat lady (or man) buffet…just pick the colors and numbers that you want b/c there are 1000’s out there (not accurate but it makes shopping for a partner seem like shopping for a car).

  7. 7
    starthrower68

    @ Nicole #6

    It at least perpetuates the notion that there’s always a better one around the corner.  Oh well. What are ya gonna do?

    1. 7.1
      m

      That’s that “Paradox of Choice” rah rah one hears so much about these days.

      I’d submit that has the (unintended?) consequence of people failing in commensurate numbers; they feel like they won’t need them. There’s “nothing wrong with *them*”, it’s “just that they’re not compatible with that person” and there’s “someone better out there for them”.

      I find it … interesting … how often the number – and personalities – of the people who tend to do that parallels the number – and personalities, LOL – of people complaining eventually that they “keep running into the same old people” online and IRL and how there’s “no one out there for them”.

    2. 7.2
      m

      Whoops – “failing [to work on their communication and relationship skills] in commensurate numbers” …

      Hee hee. Irony.

      🙂

  8. 8
    Venus

    I find it curious that so many so called researchers are presenting “facts and findings” that seem to contradict everyday observation. 

    Without a doubt the men’s profiles I have seen online overwhelming state that they are not interested in “big and beautiful” women.  Those who are attempting to be tactful simply say that they want a woman who is into being “fit.”  Then there is the occasional guy –  the exception – who states that he is looking for a big woman.  Yes from what I have seen, he is the exception.    

    This makes me wonder if guys seek out pictures of overweight women out of curiosity even though they are not interested in becoming involved with them.  

    In addition I believe that heavier women, likely,  try harder  to be sexually appealing than their slim counterparts because they self worth is more closely tied to acceptance by the opposite sex.  Whereas slimmer, fit women can derive a positive self image by looking in the mirror and may not need to rely as heavily on her sexuality.  Ok that’s just my conjecture.  

    Frankly, find a lot of these so called findings incredulous.  

    1. 8.1
      Suze

      I agree…. I don’t need a survey to tell me that the MAJORITY of men want young, fit females. The younger the better. Youth, long hair, smooth/wrinkle free skin. There’s a reason women spend a gazillion dollars on products to try and look younger. And I absolutely don’t believe that most women would prefer watching homosexual sex. Also, it’s all context.. Perhaps given a choice of slightly curvy vs. anorexic, they chose anorexic. Lie, big lies, and statistics.

    2. 8.2
      Suze

      Oops, I meant perhaps they preferred slightly curvy over anorexic.

  9. 9
    Jadafisk

    1. But very thin women *are* shaped like women. If they’re smaller overall, they’re going to naturally have more delicate limbs and smaller waists. There are countries full of women with less pronounced secondary sexual characteristics. They are clearly differentiated from men and children, and 100% straight men like them just fine. There are women who’ve crossed over from fashion modeling into pornography… these women are invariably wildly popular. The same models who appear in high fashion publications appear in SI and VS in different poses and contexts, where straight men slaver over them. The proportions of many porn stars are similar to those of fashion models, but truncated (there are no height requirements in porn) and imbued with implants, so they can appear more curvaceous while still being way thinner than the vast majority of women. There IS wider variation, but the most popular porn stars, as well as the majority in the aggregate, are thinner, younger women. The incredibly popular “barely legal” genre is dedicated to the juxtaposition of those traits.

    The reason that there were more searches for “fat women” is that “skinny women” are the default, and therefore there are no additional qualifiers needed. It’s like searching for “white women” – there would be little to no reason to do so. There are more sites specifically dedicated to overweight women because it’s a niche that is popular, but also polarizing. Like gay porn, there are some straight men who will get *angry* and stop visiting a site if thumbnails from this genre regularly appear on a mainstream site.

    8. Some men are concerned about what others may think about their mate choices, so the women they date/want to be seen hooking up with in public are primarily on one end of their range of attraction and the women they are most aroused by/curious about are on another part of that range.* Also, if a man strongly prefers large, natural breasts – as a good deal of men do, especially men whose era of sexual imprinting occurred before implants were common – he’s going to look for women that are a little larger because that trait is highly correlated with larger women.

    *Note that people can be simultaneously attracted to a variety of types. Just because a guy has pornography of women who are different from the woman he’s with, doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s not attracted to or less attracted to that woman, it may just mean that his desire for that type is sufficiently satisfied by regular sexual access to her.

  10. 10
    lux aeterna

    @ 9 Jadafisk, some good points there! I’ve been at the receiving end of that kind of behaviour from men a few times, where there is a difference between who they want to be seen publicly and who they are turned on by. In my case it’s the guys who date models, and get lots of social cred for that. But as soon as they are near me (curvy/chubby with a large ‘balcony’) they are like roaring animals, to the point where it scares me (“I can’t control myself when I’m around you” is a frightening thing to hear from a man). This attention insults me too, as I get the feeling I’m the woman they’d only sleep with but not be seen with.
    My ex’s best friend used to tease him for “being into fatties”, meaning me. At least my ex felt no shame about showing his preference in public, I’ll give him that.

    1. 10.1
      loubelle

      ive never been at receiving end that a boyfriend wouldnt want to be seen with me however i think its about the men we choose for ourselves too. we are responsible for our choices, its not all his choice. if hes that superficial *unlike your ex* then he cannot bang the door on his way out. the longer women disrespect other women so will the men, women are in competition always for maybe just one man, i mean how special is he lol, personally i wouldnt be in competition with any other woman , if a man doesnt see my worth enough to want this sort of attention and to be able to pick, im not interested. im not skinny, im petite though and a size 10-12. i walk 5 mile a day am fit enough. look after myself. always well presented. groomed lets say. its usually older men with money who get the the young modelesque women, they keep them because they have money, we have to as women not be so shallow too *some women*. now some men, it appears to me online dating for them is a candy store, they have high expectations for their ideal woman..usually punching above their weight too. they expect a pretty well groomed woman, when them infact do not make an effort and sit f*rting, burping, scratching their bits and stinking in joggers, i am surprised at how women put up with this just to seal a man or steal a man. whilst we as women have to lower our standards to ‘fight’ for this man from other women, the men wil always think they can carry on not taking care of themselves and that they can pick and choose a woman. its unfair. women need to have standards as high as the men then the men will see what thats like day to day and lower their standards. some men find think porn is what happens in sex lol, some are that stupid and dont realise they are all actors being paid. they also dont read up on how these porn stars are a right mess emotionally, into drugs, commit suicide. they are part of that everytime they get their rocks off to these unattainable women in porn. if you want a woman with long blond hair, size 0, big boobs, tall, then ask yourself if you are that hot ureself…if youd have what you require, i very much doubt it.

      1. 10.1.1
        loubelle

        contd:

        know your worth, and let the men know that too. if they are shallow they will find an ‘easier’ girl, sadly, for society

  11. 11
    Nicole

    @Jadafisk…not all thin women have naturally smaller waists just like all women above a certain size don’t turn into shapeless blobs. Everyone has a different proportion, be it waist to hip ratio, bone structure, bust size, etc. And while at a certain point(be it too heavy or too thin), you will lose your figure, the point at which that occurs is not universal. I know plenty of small women who have no waists and have pronounced muffin tops and jiggly arms. And I know heavier women who still have nice hourglass figures or slim limbs. People’s overall proportions vary widely.

    I already hate this post because everyone wants to point out that no one really likes heavy women, which I think everyone kind of already knows. Don’t worry, no one is going to think that but everyone feels obligated to point it out. Or rather, I should say the number of men who will choose it first or consider it equally is much smaller. It’s just interesting how everyone wants to attack that particular point, but not the one about older women.

    I think that there is a lot to be said about peer pressure when it comes to both men and women, and there are plenty of people who pick what they are “supposed” to like as opposed to what they really want out of fear of what other people will think. So you have men of one race, who might want to pick women of another race and as a result, are probably looking at porn that involves women of those races. The same would be true of body type. Some men are attracted to larger women, but I think let themselves get shamed into suppressing it. Ditto for race, ditto for height, ditto for almost anything you could think of.

    And what do you mean, overweight women try to make themselves more “sexually appealing.” Don’t all women try to do that? I wasn’t aware that thinner women didn’t try as hard to be appealing. Or are you trying to say that you think that overweight women are sexually “easy” in an attempt to compete with their thinner counterparts?

    I didn’t think that it was news that men like real women, not the extreme caricatures on either end of the spectrum, whether it be fat fetishes or 14 year old, 6 foot tall, 100 lb runway models.

    Women consume the fashion magazines and many buy into the idea that you can never be too thin. Truthfully, even taking body size out of it, a lot of those women are rather harsh looking and sometimes rather ugly (in the face). They look nothing like the women who are in Maxim or the Victoria’s Secret models either.

    I don’t think it’s too surprising that in countries where the women all look one way, the men find that look appealing, but you can also bet that if you go there as a foreigner and statistical outlier, some people will find that attractive too. I’m sure that with the internet, the men in those countries are downloading images of women who come in different colors and shapes than the locals.

  12. 12
    starthrower68

    I think the main thing is to not worry so much about what the preference is and to learn not to need the external approval and validation.  I know that’s easier said than done, but it certainly does take some pressure off.  This is not a comment saying that what men are turned on by is wrong.  I just don’t feel the need to live up to some ideal. 

  13. 13
    Kenley

    A few months ago, Evan shared a report that indicated that when it comes to weight and size, most men just want the women they are with to be thinner than they are. So, if we follow that logic, it may be that some of the men looking at overweight women are also overweight themselves.  

    Moreover, this idea that men only like thin women is just not true.  I’ve been dating online and I’ve ranged from being 20 to 40 lbs overweight and I have had plenty of dates and a couple of relationships with good men.  Granted, I may not have as many dates as thinner,  younger women, but I have all the dates I can handle and that’s all that matters to me.

    Beyond my own dating experience, I see overweight people coupled up ALL THE TIME.  So, I don’t understand why this idea that only thin men and women can get dates, relationships, or marriages continues to persist. 

    Also, I  have seen plenty of men on Match — at least in the age range I am interested in — list that the physical type they prefer is  average or a few extra pounds.  Average for Americans IS overweight and a few extra pounds is also overweight.  So, once again, I am just not seeing men ruling out all but thin women.

    1. 13.1
      jim morrison

      This in no way is meant to be mean…but a guy will go for whatever he can get…It’s really that simple…You get dates, cause those guys know they can’t get younger, thinner women…so instead of being alone, they move down the ladder and go for the older, more plump women…

  14. 14
    Jadafisk

    11. I’m saying that it’s possible for a very slender woman to have a naturally occuring and distinctly feminine frame, even though the ways in which a thin woman looks womanly will often differ from the ways that larger women do *in the aggregate.* I said that larger women tend to be more capable of being naturally pneumatic – I did not say that they were “shapeless blobs,” quite the opposite. Also, if anyone’s definition of “real woman” means that in some places, only 10% of reproductive-aged females will actually qualify, that definition is deeply flawed.

  15. 15
    Venus

    I don’t believe anyone is stating that only thin people can get dates.  Its simply a matter of questioning the posit that men in general find heavier women more sexually attractive. 

    If we read a report that said four year olds secretly preferred broccoli  to ice-cream and that they would get up in the middle of the night to raid the refrigerator for left over broccoli, how likely are we to accept that? 

    A lot of these reports that are put out there simply have no basis in fact.  Show me a controlled study that produces these results and I will become a believer. 

    1. 15.1
      Maria

      Nothing is wrong with the study. They researchers were very honest about what they did which was clinical being nothing more or less than basic COUNTING with no attempt to explain behaviour.

      This study reminded me of the case where a certain singer was named the sexiest or most beautiful for the year or something like that. The male site that selected her received nasty comments from its members, who it seemed, did not agree. The site revealed that it simply counted the number of times its members viewed her images as compared to other women throughout the year.

      All that can be concluded from all this is that:

      Members did not seem to agree she was the most beautiful/sexy woman

      Her image was viewed more than all the other women featured

      #1 is subjective, #2 is just plain fact

      #1 does not make #2 untrue

      Also, #2 does not make #1 true

      Providing the measurement instrument (the computer counting of the mouse clicks) was correct – it stands that the men viewed her image the most.

       

      It would take another study altogether to determine causation ie WHY were members overwhelmingly clicking on her, maybe multiple times, in proportion to the other women.

      Furthermore the hypothetical broccoli study may make sense if it was found that kids raid the fridge for broccoli in the night……………………      to get rid of it and avoid the threat of having it reappear on their plates the next day.

  16. 16
    Steve

    Venus 15
    I don’t believe anyone is stating that only thin people can get dates.  Its simply a matter of questioning the posit that men in general find heavier women more sexually attractive.
     
    “Heavier” is a relative term and that might might be one possible factor in the discord between the article and what we see in everyday life.  “Heavier” may simply mean “heavier than an emaciated runway model”   or “heavier than models in fashion magazines”.    “Heavier” may not mean “significantly overweight”.
     

    1. 16.1
      jim morrison

      If you’re a woman, and weigh over 150lbs…you’re heavier…if you’re approaching the 175-180lb mark, you’re significantly overweight…and don’t confuse yourself by thinking, “hey, I’m average weight”  average doesn’t mean that’s a good thing…go to Brazil sometime, and take a look at the average women there…big big difference from all the fatties in america.

  17. 18
    Nicole

    @Venus,
    That is fine, but no one questioned the idea that men like older women.  Why question one and not the other?  You could argue that both sound pretty ludicrous based on what society tells us that women need to be. 

    It is all relative but no one felt the need to say, oh, well, clearly they meant 40 year olds if the survey takers are 30, and weren’t suggesting that 21 year old men found Grandma Moses sexy…

    @Kenley, I think that the illusion of choice and the fact that you can right click on a bunch of attributes online is a game changer.  It’s also why the 50 year old and drop loads of emails on 30 something women. 

    So I think that people pass over people online that they might find appealing if they met live, since those people aren’t included in their filter, and b/c all descriptions are relative and men esp. seem really fearful about the size one(I was talking to a Brazilian woman who used “curvy” and had men she met tell her that she wasn’t “curvy” and that she should call herself “athletic and toned”, and it was clear that they thought “curvy” was a bad word).  I see overweight women with good-looking, athletic-looking men too, but I’d definitley love to know how many (or if any) of those relationships started online b/c I think that it makes it harder when shopping for a woman is like picking out pants.

  18. 19
    Venus

    Steve and Nicole, I accept your points.  But frankly I feel that the survey itself is questionable.  Especially as it does not go further to explain the seemingly contradictory trends it reports as findings. 

  19. 20
    Joe

    #18 Nicole: the reason women whose bodies fit the properly-used term “curvy” don’t (or are told not to) use that category when describing themselves in their online profiles is because overweight women have co-opted that category when describing themselves.  They’re not fat, they’re curvy.  There’s a lot of “body type” creep online.  People who are really average call themselves slender; people who are overweight call themselves average (or curvy).

    Of course, with the average American being overweight, maybe “overweight” *is* the new “average.”

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