Is it Okay to Talk with a Man About His Small Penis?

 

I met a great guy on Match two months ago and we’ve been spending a good amount of time together since. We have great conversation, and have fun together no matter what we do. He values me for who I am, and it feels great that I can completely be myself around him. He’s already quite smitten, which feels nice, but I’ve recently been wanting to hit reverse on the whole thing. Here’s why:

When we finally became somewhat intimate recently after a great make-out session (I guess it would be third base, whatever third base is these days…hands under clothing) I made a surprising discovery. I’m not sure how to candy coat this one, so I’ll just say it: he has an extremely small penis, even when at full mast. I was shocked and didn’t know what to do, so I did nothing. As in, once I located the goods, I didn’t interact with it at all and pretended it wasn’t there. The makeout session ended a little while later and I’ve had zero interest in having another one. 

I know there’s nothing he can do about it. Genetics are what they are. But I don’t know what to do. Do I have a conversation with him about it? What would I even say? “Hey, do you realize your penis is kinda small?” I’m sure he’s well aware and I don’t want to hurt his feelings. But I am quickly losing interest in dating him altogether. 

I can’t imagine having sex with him. And I’m also feeling a little guilty for feeling this way, for asking you this question, and for not wanting to get physical again with a guy who can’t help that he’s stuck with the short end of the stick.

Help!

Allison

Is it wrong that this letter makes me smile? Probably. Oh well.

Somehow, in answering 1000+ questions over the last 10 years, the small penis one has never, um, come across my desk, and I’ve never thought of how to, um, handle it.

To your credit, Allison, you sound self-aware and compassionate.

  • It’s not his fault that he has been genetically cursed. (An erection of less than 2 ¾” only occurs in 0.6% of men.)
  • It’s not your fault that you found yourself suddenly unsure of what to do.
  • And it’s not wrong of you to potentially determine that his lack of equipment may ultimately be a dealbreaker.

The only way I can offer constructive feedback would be to, um, switch positions and ask yourself what it would be like if, after you removed your clothes for a new man, he suddenly found your body to be grossly unappealing.

Would you want him to stop what he’s doing, jaw agape?

Would you want him to continue to pretend your unappealing body wasn’t there?

Would you want him to quickly find an exit strategy to end his own discomfort?

Probably not. Such an interaction can be emotionally scarring – and if this guy is as small as you say, I’m sure he’s had more than his share of scars.

The kindest way to deal with things would have been to act like absolutely nothing was wrong and go with the flow.

The kindest way to deal with things would have been to act like absolutely nothing was wrong and go with the flow. No paralysis, no ignoring his penis, no quick getaways.

The same way you’d teach your children not to stare at a dwarf or a burn victim, the last thing you want to do is make this guy feel MORE self-conscious.

If you’d kept hooking up with him like normal, you would have been kind, compassionate, and patient. Maybe you’d discover that he could still get the job done.

Maybe not. But that would be a decision you could have made after the experience, rather than before.

Listen, there are a million reasons to break things off with someone. Kindness. Consistency. Communication. Commitment. Character. Money. Religion. Politics.

Penis size – or any other personal physical turnoff – is just another one.

But, as you’ve noted, there’s nothing to talk about and certainly nothing he can learn from this situation. So as always, lead with kindness:

If he follows up with you for another date, just let him know he’s a great guy, you’re just not feeling a strong romantic connection and wish him the best of luck in his search.

He’s certainly going to need it.

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Comments:

  1. 1
    Stacy

    The man already knows he has a mini penis. You will wreck his self esteem even more if you say something. Just keep it classy and keep it moving if you can’t deal.

    It only gets tricky if he asks why you don’t want to see him again. If this were to happen, lie your ass off or at minimum, tell him the attraction isn’t as strong as you like.

  2. 2
    Clare

    Evan,

    When you said “The only way I can offer constructive feedback would be to, um, switch positions” I really thought you were going to suggest something else…….

    In all seriousness, if it’s any consolation to the OP, I’ve been in this position before. A boyfriend I had in university had a very, very small penis. I did break up with him because of it and because I didn’t enjoy sex with him at all, but I never mentioned it… wouldn’t have dreamed of doing so. I told him that it was because he was a workaholic (he was) and that I thought we were growing in different directions.

    He is now happily married to a beautiful, younger woman and they have a little boy. So obviously it didn’t hold him back and he is now settled and happy. OP, if you’re not feeling it,break it off with this guy. It’s always the most humane and sensible course of action. He will find someone who appreciates him and is happy to be with him. Let that guilt go completely.

  3. 3
    Maria

    Im not suggesting a woman shouldn’t be turned off by a small penis. No more so than men wouldn’t be turned on by how small or large any part of our bodies are. And certainly don’t bring it up, he knows, just as we’re aware of our parts that don’t fit the ideal. 
    But perhaps if she allowed herself to go “there”, she would find he would more than make up for it in other ways 😉 and really turn you her on, literally (Orally, manually, use of toys, overall passion/romance factor, etc) And maybe it’s only an aesthetics issue, and how it works and feels would surpass her expectations.
    We are the sum of our parts, a whole person, and hopefully who is he is awesome all around!

  4. 4
    sylvana

    I don’t think she should keep going and make it to sex. If they do have sex and she ends it afterwards, he’s pretty much guaranteed to know why. Same goes for if they do have sex and she keeps seeing him, but is not really interested in having sex again.

    Besides, if it’s a physical turn-off for her, there’s no use in even trying to have sex. Finding her body unappealing after taking her clothes of isn’t really a comparison. The true comparison would be finding her vagina unappealing enough to not want to stick his miniature in her.

    It’s one thing to overlook a partner’s physical shortcomings in a general way (belly too big, arms too small, whatever). Those are things you could technically ignore if you needed to. But this particular body part actually needs to cause arousal and give pleasure, and you can’t really close your eyes and pretend it’s different or something it’s not. And it needs to inspire arousal or at least a desire to “play with it” in her. Unless he wants to forgo ever getting a hand- or well, you-know-what job. Or sex altogether. She seems to already know that it’s pretty much a turn-off for her. So there’s no use in continuing, hoping his other qualities will re-inspire arousal later. It won’t.

    True, he might make up for it in other ways. But other ways are just that: Other ways. They can hold her over, but they won’t make up for anything where it counts. Honestly, she can do other ways herself.

    Even if she ends things now, he’ll likely know why.  But I think she should just end it. Of course, there’s no reason to tell him the truth. No reason to add insult to injury. Evan’s suggestion of claiming not feeling a strong enough romantic connection is the best solution.

  5. 5
    ames

    Evan you had too much fun with this one, hee hee! 😂 I’ve been in her shoes and found someone shockingly small was also shockingly talented and passionate. I’d give romance a go unless it is truly gross to you then keep it classy and say you aren’t a match. Just remember it’s a little soon to give up before you really tried, especially as you were so happy, smitten and comfortable before this.

    1. 5.1
      Sandra

      I do not think “trying it out” to see how it goes is very classy.  I do not think a woman would appreciate a man trying her out to see if he get over something about her he did not like ( weight most likely).

      I say let him go if she is not fully committed to him yet.

  6. 6
    Michelle

    The last guy I dated before I met my fiance had a very small one. He was skilled at um, accomplishing the task in other ways, but what was weird is that he just refused to acknowledge it. When we attempted intercourse he basically made it my issue – that my size was the problem, making me the self-conscious one! WTF! Considering men from his country are statistically amongst the most genetically “blessed” on the planet, he wouldn’t even admit that he was wayyyy smaller than average. I never once brought it up cause I was being sensitive and was willing to overlook it. But his attitude made it really easy to break up with him. 

    1. 6.1
      Sandra

      And which country is this?

  7. 7
    Gabby

    My ex was 8 very generously proportioned inches, had incredible staying power, and could finish when I wanted him to. Plus he was an enthusiastic and generous lover in all aspects of lovemaking. I orgasmed 95% of the time. I’m not ready to date again yet but I have this irrational fear that I will like a guy but feel less satisfied sexually than I’ve become accustomed to. It’s aesthetics too. A small or thin penis would not inspire the extended oral sessions I loved to give.

      1. 7.1.1
        Gabby

        The many ways we were incompatible including what each of us wanted for our future. Namely I’d eventually like to marry whereas he wants a monogamous long-term relationship but doesn’t think he would ever like to live with someone again.

        I am not advocating for chemistry over compatibility, hence my decision to break up despite loving him. But after experiencing the best sex on every level including emotional of my 40-something years, after a 15 year relationship that was largely sexless, I don’t want to imagine anything less. Average penis size will be fine, but I hope I’ll find someone who approaches sex with as much enthusiasm, generosity, playfulness, eroticism, and affection.

        1. sylvana

          Gabby,

          I can absolutely understand where you’re coming from. And it is a very valid concern.

          It’s not easy to find someone who’s very compatible sexually to begin with. And once you’ve had a partner who was very compatible to your individual likes, it’s very hard to go back to “normal”.

          I wish you the very best and good luck in your search!

      2. 7.1.2
        sylvana

        Evan,

        hahaha! That was my exact first thought as well.

        1. Gabby

          @Sylvana

          Thanks for your empathy on this. I’m actually a pretty generous accepting person on many fronts – for example I have many times grown attracted to someone after getting to know them, so I don’t place a lot of emphasis on looks. But the sex stuff is very important to me and I found this man to be a perfect combination of attitude, abilities, and physical attributes. Of course none of that stuff can be screened for… I’d have to sleep with someone at least a few times to assess whether there’s potential. It would be so much easier to attracted to handsome looks and money!

           

           

        2. Emily, the original

          Gabby,

          I’d have to sleep with someone at least a few times to assess whether there’s potential. 

          I think one time pretty much tells you everything you need to know, particularly if you’re sexually compatible. You can really like someone, but sometimes the sex stuff just doesn’t click. Of course, sometimes you’re pleasantly surprised.

        3. sylvana

          Gabby,

          oh, absolutely! I think relationships, in general, tend to be a bit harder for us women who put a greater emphasis on sex than other women. And I found that sex seems to be the hardest of all traits to find compatibility in.

          It definitely isn’t something you can really screen for. You do pretty much just have to try it out. And there’s nothing wrong with trying it out, but it can make dating (and breaking up) a bit harder.

          Personally, I found that my initial attraction seems to be purely related to sexual compatibility, for some reason. Nothing else matters at all, and will not have any impact if the original attraction isn’t there. Which might explain why I’m rarely ever attracted to anyone to begin with.

          But yes, you have my full empathy. Dating as a sexual woman (at least in the US or other, more “prude” countries) is hard. Although I’d have to say that it’s likely just as hard for more sexual men, or men with certain preferences/kinks.

          Sex, to us, is one of the major deal-breakers. Yet it’s not something you’re supposed to discuss, or – lord forbid if you’re a woman – try out early on.

          I much prefer Iceland’s “sex first, then see if we want to date” philosophy. Or much of Europe’s much more open attitude. Makes things a lot easier.

        4. sylvana

          Emily,

          I’d say that depends. You might see hints of certain things if you only sleep with a person one time. But a lot of people will definitely hold back the first time, afraid of “scaring off” their partner. Especially if they see that partner as someone they might want to be in a relationship with. It’s very different from a one time encounter with a person you don’t plan on seeing again, or at least don’t plan on dating.

          A certain attitude, playfulness, etc. (especially more kinky stuff) requires people to be comfortable with each other. And also to have at least a general idea of your partner’s preferences. So you really only have two choices: Talk about it beforehand, or give it four or five times to see how things develop once the other person opens up more, you get to know each other a little better, and get more comfortable with each other.

          Now if it doesn’t click, I fully agree with you. You can tell that right away.

          But the kind of man Gabby and I are talking about will definitely not go all out the first time unless he is absolutely certain the woman is comfortable with what he has to offer.

        5. Emily, the original

          Sylvana,
          But a lot of people will definitely hold back the first time, afraid of “scaring off” their partner. Especially if they see that partner as someone they might want to be in a relationship with. 
          I suppose that could be true, but I’m a big believer in the bold move.  At least some of it has to be taking risk (on both sides).
          A certain attitude, playfulness, etc. (especially more kinky stuff) requires people to be comfortable with each other.
          The first time will be awkward, but there should be (in my opinion) a certain level of heat. The first time really sets the tone for the rest of your encounters. Not that it can’t get better, but if it starts out at “meh,” you’re in trouble.
          So you really only have two choices: Talk about it beforehand,.
          That could be a really awkward conversation to have with someone you’ve known for a matter of weeks. Personally, too much conversation about it turns me off. I like a little surprise with it. 🙂   (I’m not barring a little direction during the act itself … within reason, but I don’t want it planned out beforehand.)

        6. Gab

          @ Sylvana   @ Emily, the Original

          Sylvana is spot on with it needing to take more than once to tell if the compatibility is there. I’m not talking about whether someone turns me off. I’d know that straight away too. Things like body odor, poor personal hygiene, bad kissing that doesn’t improve, being selfish, not being into giving oral, not giving me time to get off first or offering to help bring me off afterwards, are just a number of things that I would call deal breakers.

          However, as Sylvana said, I’m not just looking for sex that is pleasant. Plenty of guys can give me that. I’m also not super kinky, at least according to my formal understanding of kink, but I’m probably more ‘kinky’ than the average woman. For me to be completely uninhibited and lose myself in sex, I need the man to be the same. You’d be surprised by how many people lack sexual confidence/curiosity, and how many would not feel comfortable if their partner brought that up. David Schnarch writes about this in his books on relationships. I definitely don’t expect a guy to be this way the first time. Even with my 10/10 ex, our first time was fun and good, but nowhere in the same league as where we got to. But what I did recognize after being with him a few times is his willingness and capacity for the kind of lovemaking I craved. I think it would take a few times at least spread out over a month or so to make this call. The reason I said spread out over a month is because for me there needs to be an emotional connection too. That’s what makes it so good. There’s no way I could have that kind of sex with a random guy. And there lies the problem.

          I could meet someone really nice, develop some feelings, spend a few months with them, and realize that the sex is going to be pleasant, but not reach the heights I hoped for, despite my knowing that I can have that kind of sex. And before anyone says it is like any other compromise (e.g. attractiveness, intelligence, hobbies) I disagree. We all get old and lose our looks, and there are many needs we can satisfy through other people. But sex is something I will only do with him, and with the right attitude, it is something that can be wonderful and connecting for a long time, even when we age and our bits might not work as well.

           

  8. 8
    Olongapo

    @The Original Poster (Allison) and anyone else who wants to take offense.

    Thank God, I am a man.

    Most women I’ll try once, even if she has stretch marks, a C-section scar, gray hair, a mastectomy scar with a tattoo over it, a kind’ve a big butt, a kind’ve skinny butt, funny looking droopy breasts, flappy things under her arms, a big bump on her nose, snorts when she laughs, ad nauseum,,,,,I’m equal opportunity when it comes to sexy time if she’s not obese (can’t be shamed about that…you can try but it doesn’t work)

    What kicks ’em out of the running every time is being; mean, cruel, disrespectful, dishonest, alcohol and substance abuse, bi-polar disorder, talking on their phone all the time, lack of anything more interesting than what’s between her legs, disrespect for wait staff, not liking my dogs, laziness, chronic lateness, etc.  I’ll end it then.

    I want to recommend two things to this woman;

    1)  Stop seeing him.  Give him one of those excuses listed in the previous posts and ghost him.

    2) Screen better.  In your list of “must haves” on your OLD bio, include specs for length and girth and,….. this may be one of the only times where a “dick pic” prior to any other engagement is warranted.

    Damn…..this triggered me good.

    1. 8.1
      Clare

      Olongapo,

      I’m not trying to tell you what you should feel, but why exactly should other people’s preferences trigger you?

      I’m assuming your two suggestions to the OP are said ironically and that you are taking a dig at her by making them.

      But honestly, if there is one thing which my own extensive experience of dating, and observing the multitude of relationships of those I know and those around me, has taught me, it’s that there truly is a lid for every pot. Like the ex-boyfriend of mine which I mentioned who had a very small penis and is now happily married to a beautiful wife who clearly appreciates everything else he has to offer. Why should he have to settle for someone who is not really happy/satisfied with him?

      Props to you for having an equal opportunity approach to sexy time – I’m sure it yields many interesting experiences. But others certainly don’t have to have this approach. With one’s own body, one can do what one likes. One can date (and not date) who one likes and have sex (and not have sex) with who one likes. Dating is not a meritocracy, as Evan is fond of saying. It  is purely about the happiness and preferences of the two people involved, and whilst outsiders can have opinions, it’s not really their place to be “triggered” by those choices.

      Sorry, I just find it bizarre when someone finds the romantic preferences of another triggering.

      1. 8.1.1
        Cathalei

        I don’t understand why he’s triggered as well, but I will hazard a guess.

        Penis size is not just about penis size. It’s not like being turned off by his obesity, body hair etc. In a lot of cases, saying that a man has a small penis is an indictment of his virility and capacity to please anyone. That’s why there’s such a market in penis enlargement concoctions the way it’s not seen in other things. In other cases, honesty can be handled more easily. In this one, honesty is probably not the best policy. That’s why it looks like she should make another excuse and ghost him, even if ghosting is seen as undesirable.

    2. 8.2
      sylvana

      Olongapo,

      you’re listing a bunch of physical attributes that have absolutely nothing to do with sex itself. If she said that about any of those features, I would agree with you.

      But what if you can park a Cadillac between her thighs? And yes, I’ve actually heard plenty of men complain about that. If she was so loose that he didn’t feel anything during sex, the man would not be all that inspired to have sex with her again.

      Same goes for the way that area looks. If he doesn’t like the way she looks down there, he’s not likely to enjoy going down on her, etc. 

      It’s not just a matter of visual appeal, but also practicality. Things like gray hair and saggy boobs will not restrict the variety of sexual positions you can utilize, for example. As much as I hate to say this, extremely small endowments rule out half of even normal positions right from the start. And there is no denying that the physical pleasure that particular body part is capable of giving will be greatly lessened.

      As I said, you can still ignore other areas of her body if you don’t like them during sex. Or pretend they look different.  But this particular area (on both men and women) is vital to sex.

      I don’t quite understand why this triggered you so badly. Didn’t you just state above that:

      I’m equal opportunity when it comes to sexy time if she’s not obese (can’t be shamed about that…you can try but it doesn’t work)

      How is you not being able to be attracted to obese women any different than her not being able to be attracted to small cocks? Why can you not be shamed for not liking a certain physical attribute (obesity), but it’s all right for you to shame her for not liking a physical attribute? She tried. It truly didn’t work. Nowhere did she claim that she didn’t like his scars or body shape, or extra fat, or anything else like that.

      Most likely, what she doesn’t like is the physical sensations that particular body part will give her during sex, or while she is giving a blowjob, etc. The visual does play a role, but not that great a one.

      But I do agree with you that she should just end it.

       

      1. 8.2.1
        Yet Another Guy

        This blog entry is so radioactive that I was going to remain silent.  While I do agree that the LW should end the relationship, I will also warn her that she will find herself on the other side of this dynamic due to the loss of pelvic floor muscle tone as she ages; therefore, she should end it without stripping the guy of his dignity.

        1. Penny

          YAG,

          I don’t know about that.  I am 58 and my muscles down there are in great shape.  But I guess it all depends on the person.  I have had only one child so maybe that’s why.

          As far as the OP goes, I do believe that finding another reason to leave him would be the right thing to do.  No reason to hurt him and he may find someone else who doesn’t mind.

        2. Yet Another Guy

          @Penny

          I don’t know about that.  I am 58 and my muscles down there are in great shape.  But I guess it all depends on the person.  I have had only one child so maybe that’s why.

          You should consider yourself fortunate.   While not ginormous, I am definitely larger than average.  I used to have to go slow when I was younger because it was often a very snug fit.  However, today, I find that a lot of women have suffered fairly serious pelvic floor muscle tone loss by the time they reach age 50.  It does not have to be this way, and the part of the loss can be recovered. Regular Kegel exercises are a woman’s best friend.

          With that said, I cannot think of a topic that is more sensitive to a man than size. Regardless of their size, most men want to be larger just as most men want to be taller.   You know that there is a disconnect when 75% of men believe that they are smaller than average.  That is because men watch too much porn.

           

        3. sylvana

          YAG,

          Oh, come on. I can’t believe there’s a subject that might actually make you hold your tongue. I’m not sure whether that amuses me, or leaves me disappointed. Since I was rather much looking forward to your comments on this one…haha.

          Do note that I did point out it’s the equivalent of a woman being extremely loose down there. And sure, she could get looser as she ages (although tension in surrounding muscles actually tends to make some women tighter), but Viagra was invented for a reason. His equipment won’t be the same as he ages, either. We’re talking about what he has to start out with.

          But yes, I agree. There should be absolutely no stripping the guy of his dignity. Just end it.

           

        4. Yet Another Guy

          @sylvana

          Oh, come on. I can’t believe there’s a subject that might actually make you hold your tongue.

          Well, after Adrian’s comment about being toxic,  figured that it may be best to sit this one out.  I cannot think of a more toxic subject to men than penis size.  Men are so sensitive about it that there are entire forums on the Internet dedicated to increasing size.  The root cause of insecurity in this area for guys in the U.S. is that they have been told that they need to pass the dollar bill test (a dollar bill is 6.25″ long).  I can definitely pass that test, but a lot of guys have been led to believe that they are smaller than average for not being able to pass it.  If a guy is at least 5.16″ long with a girth of 4.6″, then he is at least average size.

          Now, for the ladies reading this blog entry.  There is actually a fairly reliable way to determine if a man is larger than average (or at least not smaller than average).  While I have large hands for a guy who is only 5’11.5″ (8.25″ from the base of my palm to the tip of my middle finger, which is a full inch larger than that of the hand size coveting megalomaniac known as Trump 🙂 ), the key is not hand size.  The key is ring finger length.  The longer a man’s ring finger in relation to his index finger, the higher the probability that he is larger than average.  This difference in hand development is believed to be due to being exposed to higher levels of testosterone in the womb.  If man’s ring finger is not at least as long as his index finger,  you may want to take a pass if size matters.   My ring finger is longer than my index finger.  As crazy as it sounds, one cannot make this stuff up. 🙂

        5. Gab

          @Yet Another Guy

          That’s so interesting. I’m a petite woman and I would joke with my ex-bf that his hands were almost as small as my hands. Yet his hands were also really blocky, like thick stumpy fingers, peasant hands he called them. His middle and index fingers would definitely have been of similar lengths, hence the blocky hands. 8 circumcised thick inches. Now I’m totally going to be checking out men’s hands 😉

          BTW, when I’ve looked at amateur porn on the net with what are probably regular sized penises, I also think they look tiny. No wonder men are insecure. 

          The pressure on women is no less though. I watched a documentary on labioplasty that said it is one of the fastest growing surgeries. Apparently the very neat, tucked in look on porn stars is actually the rarest pussy type. Interestingly, until I saw my first Hustler magazine in my early 20s, I didn’t even know other type of pussy existed. I thought all girls looked like me. So when I opened up the magazine and saw a naked woman shot from behind, standing with her legs apart, and could see inner lips hanging down, I was in shock. The guy friend who owned the magazine and who was a bit of a stud thought it was hilarious. I honestly didn’t know, and I remember paging through that magazine, eyes wide, in awe at the different types. That said, I remember a girl from work once told me that her boyfriend preferred that type. I think most men are probably just so happy to have a naked woman in their arms they don’t care either way. In regards to genital surgery, despite preferring a circumcised penis myself, I opted not to have my son circumcised as I felt it was wrong to remove skin that could contribute to his future sexual pleasure. For that reason I’m also against women getting genital surgery to make their pussy’s neater (unless they are experiencing physical discomfort). Removing flesh that is full of nerve endings to give you pleasure just seems extreme. I have no issue with cosmetic surgery btw, though my concern extends to breast work too which can leave you with numb nipples (mine are super sensitive in good way so perhaps I’m biased). This has turned into quite the essay… I am clearly procrastinating.

        6. Yet Another Guy

          @Gab

          Apparently the very neat, tucked in look on porn stars is actually the rarest pussy type.

          Thank God!  I am a long labia minora man, the longer, the better. 🙂  Every women I have been with who had long labia minora has been a strong climaxer, more often than not multi-orgasmic.  Plus, it is a lot more fun to go down on a woman with long labia minora. 🙂

          By the way, the reason why they started to circumcise boys in English-speaking countries is because it reduces sensitivity.  It was believed to curb the desire to masturbate.  I can confirm that that is a negative. 🙂

        7. Gab

          @YAG

          That’s interesting. I wonder if all the extra exposed skin is the reason or it might be because of all the extra ‘loving’ you’re giving and the enthusiasm you bring.

          I’ve never been with a man who wasn’t generous and enthusiastic about going down but talking with friends there are a lot of guys out there who do a cursory minute if that.

        8. Yet Another Guy

          @Gab

          I’ve never been with a man who wasn’t generous and enthusiastic about going down but talking with friends there are a lot of guys out there who do a cursory minute if that.

          I will agree that a lot of guys are lame when comes to giving.  However, there are a lot of women who are self-conscious about a letting a guy go down on them.   They cannot relax enough to enjoy it, which is shame because a woman has not experienced an orgasm until she has experienced a strong combined g-spot and clitoral orgasm.  That can make a woman push a man’s head away, roll up in the fetal position, and tell him not to touch her because the orgasms are coming in waves.  The girlfriend that I had before the last woman I dated became addicted to climaxing this way.  Her body would shake intensely during this type of climax.  We parted as friends, so we still talk. She called a couple of weeks ago for pointers on how to get her current boyfriend to do the same thing to her.  I can only guess that he falls into the “drive by” cunniligus club to which your friends are referring.

          With that said, a man kind of messes things up for the men who follow him when he rocks a woman’s world sexually in some way.  For some women it size and/or technique.  For others, it is kink.  I had a girlfriend when I was younger with whom sex had to include restraints and hot wax.  I was not the guy who introduced that to her.  However, then again, she was the woman who taught me about the use of a spreader bar. 🙂

        9. Gab

          @YAG

          You might need to provide us all with a step-by-step guide 😉

           

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