What Do Guys In Their 20’s Want With Women In Their 40’s?

What Do Guys In Their 20’s Want With Women In Their 40s

I am in my mid-forties and I have been online dating off and on for about 2½ years and dating in general for 4 years. I am a year and a half out of a relationship and in that time, I have found only one guy I was interested in but he did the vanishing act. I have probably more dates than the average woman and I just can’t seem to find a guy I want to date. I am often told I am beautiful and I look about 10 years younger than I my age. I get contacted by a fair number of guys in their 20’s and most I don’t respond to because I just feel it won’t go anywhere. Recently, however, I was contacted by a guy in his mid-twenties and I was impressed by his profile…he’s mature, intelligent, articulate and attractive. I started up a correspondence with him. I was curious. But I still feel that maybe it’s a mistake…what do I really have in common with this guy? After all, I am twenty years older than he is. 

In your opinion, what do guys in their twenties really expect and/or want when contacting an older woman?  The youngest guy I have ever been out with is 33. 

Thanks for your insight. I really enjoy reading your blog and I feel that of many so-called dating experts that you are right on!


Thanks, Coug–, uh Carla. As a so-called dating expert, I really appreciate the kind words!

Which is why I’m sure you’re going to be completely receptive to this:

You’re wasting your time with this kid.

Okay, that’s not fair. Let me use more words to say it:

If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you’re most likely wasting your time with this kid. However, if you’re looking for good, clean (and not-so-clean) fun with a young stallion, you can have an amazing time. In fact, I would encourage you to do so. And take lots of pictures.

If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you’re most likely wasting your time with this kid. However, if you’re looking for good, clean (and not-so-clean) fun with a young stallion, you can have an amazing time.

See, I’m not here to set the rules for society. I’m here to observe society and report back to you how things USUALLY work out. And for every Demi and Ashton (Celebrities, They’re Just Like Us!), there are thousands of other instances of cross-generational relationships that die a quick, painless death. Why? Because he was born in the 80’s, right about the time that you were losing your virginity in college. Because he’s been in the workforce for oh, about four years. Because he may be a great communicator, mature for his age, and relationship minded, but he’s also, y’know, a BABY.

You know how I know this? Because I’M that guy. I’ve ALWAYS loved older women. I was with a 35 year old woman when I was 20. I used to flirt with my mom’s friends. And when all my friends would make fun of me and say, “Why would you date an older woman when you could date a younger woman?”, I’d say, “Why would you date a younger woman when you can date an older woman?”. … As far as I’m concerned, every woman is better at 28 than at 23, better at 33 than at 28, and so on. Now, there is a flaw in this system – the biological clock – which is much worse at 38 than at 23. This is a valid concern to men looking to have families, so let’s not overlook it. But still, I’m a big proponent of life experience and wisdom. Older women are AWESOME in this guy’s book.

So even if this young man’s interest in you is completely pure, even if he wants to have a real relationship with you, you guys are most likely doomed. If he wants to have kids. Or go clubbing at night. Or switch careers a few more times. Or do normal things like twentysomethings do. You’re at the home buying, 401K saving, family planning phase of life – for MOST 46-year-olds. Hey, if you still have the juice to hang with kids, go crazy.

There’s a very good reason that you don’t see many 25 year old men with 45 year old women.

It just seems far more likely that a) he’s bragging to his friends that he might get to sleep with a woman 20 years older than himself, or b) you guys really might be compatible if only he were significantly older or you were significantly younger. But he’s not. And you’re not. Put another way, there’s a very good reason that you don’t see many 25 year old men with 45 year old women.

A caveat which I must acknowledge: if neither of you desires children, then you have a far better chance. But presuming he does, if I were you, Carla, I’d probably have some fun. Go in with your eyes open and appreciate the experience for what it is – a dalliance with the youthful exuberance of your past. Enjoy it while it lasts.


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  1. 91

    Moe # 84

    Your tone is very patronizing and insulting to writer of #82

    It is possible that her guy at 35 will find her attractive because guys that age hit on me at 53
    You will learn when you reach my age that many guys have the capability to stray regardless of age and their marital status.

  2. 92

    Dra #90

    “Older men with young girls look really pervey and sad, and older women with very young men look desperate.”

    And a 29 year old with a “utterly boring” boyfriend 9 years older looks…utterly bored.

  3. 93

    Perfectly stated Ruby

  4. 94

    @ Dra

    “Older men with young girls look really pervey and sad”

    Despite studies which show that males married to significantly younger women not only report greater satisfaction, but enjoy greater health and longevity(ponder the absence of such studies in favor of older women and younger men).

    @ Ruby

    “And a 29 year old with a “utterly boring” boyfriend 9 years older looks…utterly bored.”

    If drama is what a woman craves, than a younger man may remedy that when he begins to pursue younger women(which is likely to happen, assuming he is a high value male – which is the only kind most women will consider – and thus, as a scarce resource, will have many more options than any older woman he is likely to be paired with).

    1. 94.1

      it is not a drama that people crave, it is that feeling that they are alive

  5. 95


    What about the 29 year old woman who is totally bored, but has lots of other options? How long do you think she’ll stick around with Mr. Boring? I think there’s a middle ground between “drama” and “utterly bored”, don’t you?

  6. 96

    Im 21/male and just fell in love with a woman who is in her mid 40s. i like everything about her.   she truly is a wonderful person.  I hope we become good friends, nothing more.  That would be a good friendship that i would really enjoy, I just like spending time with her, it’s comforting.  Anything else would be bizarre.

  7. 97

    I am 41 and just started a relationship with a 25 year old guy…I feel so in love with this guy as I havent felt in a longtime…he is carrying no only about me but about my 11 year old son…He is responsible, he is intelligent, he wants to be there for me and my son..he wants to be the father my son hasnt have….he still have kids issues like video gaming, loud music, throwing his clothes on the floor,etc etc that I have to face evey day…He is already talking about getting married…he is sterile (Doctor tested) so kids is not an issue…But I am glad I found this discussion because it is good to see how other people think about this situation…although every situation is different I feel that you have to give it a go…you never know until you try…

  8. 98

    Paragon your posts are very condescending. 

  9. 99

    I am thrilled to have found this site ! I am going through torment as after a 30 year marriage and now single at 48, I met a 28 year old on an online site that I just adore and the feeling is mutual. I have had a lot of approaches since being single – loads – from men my age ( friends included) and many from younger guys but this person was the one that I instantly connected with. However I think he is really nervous by us being anything more than a casual relationship as he understandably loves his freedom and all the girls that come his way. I am also very scared as feel all the time that it is going to end and I am going to lose the best thing I have ever come across. But something keeps bringing us back together and over riding that.

    I woudl just add that it is very very hard for him – I think it is an age thing – to confidently express himself verbally. The whole idea of ” relationships’ freaks him out as he has no desire to get married or have children …all typical stuff of men that age.

  10. 100

    Its surprising to read such critical comments about an older woman having relationship with a younger guy. No one in this society gives much thought about a older man dating a teenager. 
    Society is clearly gender *BIASED*!!!!
    Wake-up it’s 21st century. NOPE I am not dating a guy in 20s. Yes I am in 40s.

  11. 101

    what a man really want ,,and looking for a older women

  12. 102

    Not even sure what to say.  I am 40 and normally always find myself attracted to much older men.  Recently a young 25 year old with an amazing head on his shoulders asked if I would ever consider dating a younger man.  My first thought was hell no…I have no need for a quick romp that lacks passion and romance.  He has kept at it insisting that I will not be disappointed if I would just allow him to woo me.  Thoghout my life, I have had great receptiveness from men of all ages.  I am confident intelligent  succesful and love to laugh.  Though this man is a guy I would have pined away for at 25 – he is likely capable of landing any woman.  I am now not in the best shape of my life and his interest is baffling.

  13. 103

    after the breakup of a 8yr relationship and a recent cancer scare I decided that life is too short and I would be more open minded with my life. I have been approached by many younger men in the past but a month ago I started seeing someone 21yrs younger than me. I am 47 and he is 26!!! He is an old soul behavea like he is 10yrs older. We connect so well mentally. Despite we are more like f buddies when we are together we can talk all night. still I know I like to be more friends than f buddies and thinks the relations  could end any day. In couple of weeks time he is moving in with couple of his friends and he wants me to mare him there. So far we have been discrete. I am nervous about meeting his friends. I told him I would feel embarrassed but he has no problems with me meeting his friends. Why?? What’s the mentality with younger men dating older women? Do they brag about it or are embarrassed about it. I don’t want to be seen as an object someones triumph. Any opinions please??? 

  14. 104

    additional info……..also at the age of 26 he had been married and separated with a two year old child. Career wise he is extremely focused and driven and successful. He is a very confident young man, comes from a succeful  and  well off family. So he is not after me for anything except sex. So far so good that we are both just out of a relationship. However despite my analysis why did he want to meet someone much older? I am fit and slim educated and successful, and i dont need this type of relationship but i am in the middle of it. I can telll he tries to keep a distance so he doesn’t fall for me. I find it very difficult to be intimate physically and distant emotionally. I have to remind myself to just go with the flow as life presents to us in many different ways and there is not a norm for every situation. This situation could have happened if he was my age instead of being 21yrs younger!!

  15. 105

    Sure, it could happen if you were twenty years younger, but at least when you were done with being FWBs you’d still have many years ahead of you to meet someone.  It could happen if he was the same age as you too, but I don’t see how that justifies continuing with an unsatisfactory arrangement.  Of course if it satisfies you, continue as you are.
    Why do men get involved with any woman? Maybe bragging rights, just sex, it’s convenient, she makes it convenient, or he has genuine intentions towards marriage.  It’s your call to judge what you’ve got there.  People do navigate age gaps into lifelong relationships but the relationship has to be exceptional and I’m not sure FWB falls into that category.  It seem to be extremely commonplace these days.

  16. 106

    Younger men can be very kind and considerate.  (And so can the older ones, ok?)
    But true story.  I’m 60 (and am told I look in my late 40s) and went out and was just enjoying myself at a concert. 
    This guy of just about 40 came on to me in a very obvious way (his wife was at home with the babies).
    It just struck me how funny it would have been to have sex with him (hey, sweetheart, mind my back – certain positions are a nightmare as you get older :o) – and others aren’t).
    You know, this cougar stuff makes me laugh sometimes.  I have had absolutely lovely emails from very young men (colleagues) who adore me.  Do I follow up on them? I’d certainly reply politely and show them where my limits are (as in….sorry sweetie – you look gorgeous but I’m not going to be your extramarital affair).

  17. 107

    I’m 20 years old and I am into very older women, I don’t kow how this came about isoooooo attracted to older women but I’ve never dated one coz afraid of how my friends are going to respond. I really don’t know what to do at this it!

  18. 108

    I’m 25 and when I think of an older chick it’s nothing more then to fool with. I just want to party, travel, meet chick, hang with my friends an enjoy life. So yeah I’m about as mature as the average 18-20 year old haha. I am personally in no way ready to settle down so yea these older chicks I think sexual first thought.

  19. 109

    I just turned thirty and they guy I am dating just turned 21. Is that to much if an age difference are we doomed as well?

  20. 110

    I’m 26 and have a friend who is 34. We have become close after meeting through a friend a couple years ago. she has now met a few of mine who are guys. While I have a boyfriend and am not interested in these guys she gets attention 1 coz she is attractive but 2 as she is “the hot mum” – she has a 15 yr old. I haven’t said anything but when she does see these guys it would seem they only after one thing. I’ve heard stories turn up at her door and call her at funny hours and she tell me oh I had great Sunday sex with so and so but then a few days later I get the other end of it…ohh all he hasn’t text me….. It’s becoming embarrassing and I can tell they seem to treat her as if she is a trofy being passed about. I’m sure she is only in it for the attention…I feel so sorry for her she is really looking for a real relationship, she wants to have kids and find that final person but with the age group she is going for I don’t think that is possible. Like I say – I’m 26….even I don’t want a 26 yr old my boyfriend is 29 and we want kids and have a future planned!

  21. 111

     I’m  60 will be 61yrs old and im attracted to younger men.we talk and have fun.there is no sex involved.i have dated one 23 yrs old.its fun that we ladies can do what we want.

    1. 111.1

      Good for you, Paula.  I was going through this whole feed and felt so alone and guilty.  I seem to have attracted a male 31 years younger.   The most age difference I’ve had with dating guys is 17 years.  I don’t consider myself a cougar.  I don’t go out looking for younger guys but seem to attract them because I look much younger.  And like you said, it’s fun.   Why turn down fun when I can still enjoy myself like I’m 25.  And it’s not always about sex.  And I don’t feel I need the younger guys for validation.  It just happens.  It’s hard after 50 to not go with the flow.  I’ve had my share of 40-somethings and they were all unavailable emotionally because of baggage or liked to drink just a little too much.  Why can’t a younger man’s interest in a much older woman be genuine?  I think it really depends on the make up of the two people.  You can’t generalize.  I don’t care if he won’t still love me when I’m 62 and he’s 30.  I don’t care if his immature friends call me “grandma” because trust me, no one’s even gone there – maybe because I never had children.  Love and life have no guarantees.  You move on.  Is there anyone else out there with more than 20 years difference between them?

  22. 112

    to 4ever25
    I am 50 and when I was younger, older men always intrigued me. After a marriage with an older men that ended in divorce after 13 years, that somehow changed….. Since I turned 40   men my own age or older lost their allure to me and suddenly appeared too rigid, critical or generally emotionally unavailable. I spent a few years focusing on raising two wonderful boys from my marriage and growing as a person, letting go of old wounds and becoming whole again. 
    I never worried about being alone, because it taught me much and made me stronger. One thing it taught me is, that in order to truly experience receiving and giving  unconditional love, I must first learn to give it to myself…..
    After that period of soul searching and finding my inner peace at last an amazing thing started happening. Most men that approached me were much younger than me…..at first I was startled and innocently disbelieving because it was a totally new experience for me, something I did not seek on my own accord.
    I resisted this new phenomena until one particular young man, that was 24 years younger , was particularly persistent and convinced me to give him a chance. We had a relationship for 6 years that was wonderful on many levels, mentally, emotionally and physically. He taught me to relax, trust and follow my heart and let go of worrying about what others think. He taught me that unconditional love with another human being is possible when two people genuinely love eachother.
    The ending of our relationship had nothing to do with our age difference in the end….we were separated by life circumstances beyond our control and will always remain good friends.
    I will forever be grateful what this young men has taught me…… that wisdom can surprisingly come from a much younger person than us and that love can arrive very unexpectedly and in an unexpected form or agegroup.
    I fully enjoyed reading all the various comments on this blog, and respect that everyone has their own opinions, but I learned from my own experiences that each story is different, and to really find an answer is to find your own inner peace, listen to your heart and have the courage to follow it……..
    I have been much happier since I was able to let go of all my old fears, insecurities and doubts and decided to just go with the flow of life and accept love in whatever shape it appears…..The last few years it continues to appear in the shape of very young, beautiful, intelligent young men , at least 20 years my juniors, that somehow miraculously find me and seek me out and truly enjoy my presence, my inner peace and youthful spirit, independence and sensual femininity (in their own words)……
    hmmmmm that is a combination hard to resist, if its someone I feel a connection with and truly find appealing……… so I am enjoying it to the fullest, because life is a series of delicious moments if we can just be present in the moment and authentic, real.
    Currently I am dating a 23 year young man at age 50 and I see no problem with it, nor does he. We are like minded spirits and minds and share a deep connection that carries over into a very passionate sex life. I see relationships as journeys…….we might not know the destination, but look at all these wonderful sites and experiences and joys along the way! It is a great, exhilarating  journey indeed……if we allow it:)

  23. 113

    I’m 11 yrs older than my BF. I didn’t tell him my age for a month and he never asked. When I said I was 41 all he did was say he had thought I was his age and shrugged. No biggie! BUT his friends sure made a big deal out of it. The night I met his best friend, the guy waited until my bf went to the restroom to say, “You know, you would be perfect for Joe if only you weren’t so old. Too bad.” I said “Oh, you are right. I better dump him. When he gets back I will tell him it’s over. Thanks for the advice.” The guy freaked. Was saying no no no no, don’t do that! I smiled and said I would make sure Joe thanked him later for saving him from an old hag. I didn’t do it though, I let the prick squirm all night long waiting for it. I did tell my bf later and he apologized and said he didn’t care about our ages when we were so compatible in every aspect. 3 years later and we are still here. But I know his pals mock “cougars”. They say things like don’t go to that bar, it’s a bunch of desperate old divorcees, unless you want to fuck a cougar. Or they make a game of flirting with older women, telling them how hot they are, asking for sexy pics, texting these women. They lead the women on, making fun of the photos they get, laughing at how hard the women are trying to look young, botox and fake boobs and collagen lips and tight clothes. And these women believe the guys are sincere, I’ve read their texts and emails. They ask to meet at clubs and casinos and don’t realize it’s a joke. The single moms especially are thought to be “easy”. Needless to say, I don’t hang out with my bf’s friends who do this. So just a warning that there are truly cruel douchebags out there, male and female yes, but if you date guys in their 20s and 30s, you have to stay realistic. Don’t let flattery go to your head because it could be just a mean joke. Don’t mean to offend anyone, this is my experience. Peace to all, love this community! 

  24. 114

    I love older woman.  I look to hook up with a new one every month. With the interne6t it is very ez to find a woman that is discovering and looking to screw or a woman that hates her husband and is looking to get out.  I am 40 years old now and never been married. Never been with a woman younger than me. I have 11 kids with 9 woman. My fantasy is getting older women pregnant. I love to nurse from her and be with her as she gets big. I pay my child support on time.  I am working on this skinny little 44 year that has no children. She has just let me go with out a condom because I have promised to pull out. That will change very soon.

  25. 115

    everyone going to be quiet now.I am married three times since i was sixteen…i am 43 and i am the one who got tired of them n then they would cheat me because i no give anything. i dont like boys my age because they are boring and cant do what i want. Young mens always make love like worshipping and are not boring. I had children that is true n they go to school and have a school life. I belief every relation has a chance of failure even if you are same age , same sex too or different age. 2014 makes all relations challenging. PS you only live once and real love connections have no age

  26. 116

    I can tell you from experience what 20 something year old men want with a 40 something year old woman.  Security.  On all levels.  They want security that she is going to be compassionate, stable, relaxed, open, and confident.  I’m 40 and have been dating 20 something to 30 something year old men since my mid 30’s.  Each time I hear the same thing.  Younger women have unrealistic expectations across the board.  Young women throw hissy fits and temper tantrums over things that are unavoidable (employment schedule changes, flat tire, etc), young women worry too much over the little things, young women are jealous and insecure, etc.  I happen to LOOK like I’m in my mid 20’s so they do take me out on dates, have introduced me to their families, etc.  I’m talking kids, exes, best friends, parents, aunts, uncles, etc.  It’s funny that everyone is commenting on dynamics in general, but please consider…when does ANY relationship follow the ideal path?  Love, compatibility, getting along with a complete stranger, etc…those are pretty serendipitous.  True, we plan for things to happen a certain way, but they hardly ever do.  I would date a man of ANY age without automatically assuming that things are good until…well, until they’re just not good anymore.  I also date men my own age and have a few times dated men who were more than 10 years my senior.  I find that age is ONLY a number, because while a lot of older guys will discourage you from dating a younger man…the truth is, there’s a little boy in EVERY man that just doesn’t grow all of the way up and single older guys are more inclined to struggle with the inner boy than a man who is in the transition of “growing up”.  That’s the truth.  I have the benefit of having kids and when it comes to love, kids won’t matter.  Honestly.  Any man who plans to have kids, if he’s truly in love with a woman…I mean soulfully in love with her, the idea of having kids will seem like something he “once wanted” before he met her.  Just the opposite is true.  If a man doesn’t want kids, if he is deeply in love with a woman and she wants to have kids, guess what?  He’ll add “fatherhood” to his to do list.  I do agree with everyone who says just to have fun, because if dating isn’t fun, then you really won’t want to do it.  It shouldn’t be a huge chore though challenging.  Again, from my experience, younger men want everything in an older woman that comfortable companionship provides from great sex with a woman who is comfortable in her skin to someone being graceful of his overall clumsiness.  Now, what I want to say lastly, is that I resent being called a cougar, puma, panther…etc when the younger guys are STALKING/HUNTING me! Lol ha ha ha ha ha  I don’t purposely go looking for a younger guy.  They seem to be more adamant about fulfilling my dating/partnership needs than the men my age, who although more stable are less motivated, more sullen, and overall jaded without being able to get “excited” over the possibility of partnership.  It truly is sad.
    Don’t count this young fellow out and surely don’t treat him as though he’s a child and incapable of deciding what it is he needs and desires in his life.  Treat him on an individual basis, not according to his age.
    Get this…I was recently told by a 52 year old who was disappointed that I’ve been working a lot lately and unable to hang out with him, that he’s going to buy a new wardrobe to go to the night clubs more frequently.  And people are knocking young 20 year old guys due to lack of maturity or digressing?? LMBO!!! ha ha ha ha  Age is JUST a number.

  27. 117

    I would like to share my experience guys !! My boyfriend is 2 years younger than me !! He is 21 n im 23.. it has been 5 years we both loving each other, truly ; madlyyy!! Plus, we are really enjoying our relationship, WAY TOO MUCH 😀 <3 !! His mother passed away when he was 14 !! He wanted someone who can really take care of him like his own mother, and he found me !! I remember those days I tried to avoid him cos of his age !! But then I realised that age is not a bar in love !! I really feel like he is the ONE FOR ME n he feels the same too ^.^ Finally, I said “YES” !! To those people who are thinking that younger guys are after older woman just cos of sexual appeal n they dont have mutual understanding, U R ABSOLUTELY WRONG LOL !! @[email protected] In our relationship we used to give and take !! Im short tempered !! My soulmate only knows how to take care of me n my anger !! And sex only is not life !! It’s a part of life !! Love is life !! 🙂 Some younger guys are too desperate to decite older women for their money, properties n sexual desire so on !! I would like say something to them too !! Dont ever do such cheap things in the name of love !! Just disgracing the divinity of love !! 

    1. 117.1

      2 years age difference may feel like a lot at 21 and 23, but it isn’t even a thing. In the larger picture of things, you are practically the same age.

  28. 118
    Pussy Cat

    I am a pussy cat NOT a Litter Box.

    Older, better, wiser……

    I always get hit on by younger men, ALOT, OFTEN, EVERYWHERE…
    Am a gorgeous, nope
    Am I slutty, nope
    Am I desperate, nope

    So what am I.

    I’m single
    I live alone
    I can’t get pregnant
    I’m very nice
    Easy to talk to
    People confide in me all the time
    I don’t need help
    I’m not a drama queen
    I’m fun, a riot, love to enjoy myself
    I’m financially thriving
    Emotionally thriving
    Physically thriving
    I’m good with ME

    So it’s obvious ALOT of young guys would try to hit that, if not once a couple of times.  

    But who are these young guys?

    THEY’RE YOUNG… given, easy fact.

    They need target practice
    They need to feel accepted
    They are terrified of girls their age
    They want lessons without intimacy
    They want to experiment sexually 
    They’re selfish
    They’re looking for a Self Serve Station
    They’re insecure 
    They’re anxious
    They’re needy
    They’re desperate

    It’s a choice, so be aware what your buying into if you’re looking for a long term relationship, intimacy or even a long term friend, look elsewhere.
    It’s not personally about you and him. It’s the furthest you can get
    from personal.  Don’t let it go to your head, your ego, don’t feel special or don’t feel you’re easy.
    Personally I feel insulted and not respected while at the same time realize that these young thangs are doing what they do best.  (trying to get laid Fast and Easy)  simple fact and that’s cool. I transcend.

    Go into a bar and get chummy with a young guy, then tell him you’re well known and know most of the “girls” in the bar.  Ask him if he’d like to meet anyone and that you can help with that.
    He’ll almost immediately point out a girl, most of them will.  Males have an “image” of their Miss perfect and yes, it’s always visual at 1st, so they scan their surroundings in search of that “image”.
    If they like something, they’ll stick around.  My son and his buds jump from bar to bar, if just one of them finds a match they will all stick around as wing men until it’s a hit or miss, if it’s a miss they move on.  Something I do like about men, they’re comradery.  No man left behind.
    They have a rule.   A woman has to be at least a 7 in looks but if she’s under a 6 in personality it’s a flybye..  Sucks, but shows you the “image” is rule number 1.  But they all have different preferences.  It’s not all blond bomb shells, it’s as simple as dimples to a huge ass.  So knowing that, you can be assured if he’s onto you like glue, he’s seeing you in a great, fantastic, over the top way.  That’s cool if there is something you hate about yourself that he loves.  It’s something to feel empowered by.  

    When a guy finds you irresistible on “his terms” he will stop at nothing if you give the “go”
    which is as simple as a smile.  That’s his green light and if he’s a confident guy he’ll get on with the chase.  
    If a guy is just trying to get laid, he’ll not put any effort into getting to know you.
    It will be small talk, quick texts like “wazup” – “hi” intermittently, week-ends, mid nights, monthly.  He’s doing this with oh… about 20 other females.  I delete these message but they still show up.  My mistake for giving out my number.  Stopped that, to the point that I can a base a man’s interest on how fast he tries for a phone number.  Too fast, bu-bye.  Instant message means he’s looking for an instant lay.

    They know they can NEVER get away with this from the girl they want

    They need target practice = They will have to be very careful and respectful
    They need to feel accepted = They’ll have to feel confident
    They are terrified of girls their age = They’ll have to be brave
    They want lessons without intimacy = They’ll have to be intimate, close, open.
    They want to experiment sexually  = They’ll have to learn on their own
    They’re selfish = They’ll have to be giving
    They’re looking for a Self Serve Station = Again they’ll have to be respectful and giving
    They’re insecure = They know they can’t show weakness around the girl they adore
    They’re anxious = They will have to practice confidence 
    They’re needy = They will have to deal with their own issues
    They’re desperate = They will have to become strong and patient

    So women, you’re not the exception, knowing this, you are left with wisdom and self respect.
    I’d rather take that to bed every night. Smile in the morning and keep my eye open for that older gent who is already a man.   

    1. 118.1
      Fellow pussy cat

      Amen, pussy cat.

  29. 119
    senior dating for mature

    A fascinating discussion is worth comment. I think that you should write more
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  30. 120

    I’m 43 and married to my 24 yr old hubbie. Since day one we have both talked and have overcome the “age gap” battle continuously.

    Its like any relationship … It’s work efor everyone . It’s not more work, it’s different work, but in the end it’s “work”. 

    We are happy, still in love, have amazing sex, he keeps me challenged and I keep him challenged and it’s inevitable because of our differences but we CHOOSE to work with each other to be happy. We both believe in protecting what we have from everything listed in this blog. 

    Life is About choices and when you love someone or something you do everything you can to keep.

    We’be all heard the same advice from couples who’ve been together 60+ years… Communicate, love, laugh and have great sex!

    We tske the advice and live it daily. It’s not always perfect but nothing is and I doubt I’d be in any better place wif my husband was my age or older.. I’d have other things to work on instead. So I choose to be in love with my 24 year old husband . 

    Key … know and accept and embrace all the good and bad things you endure together… Both or it does not work in any relationship young or old. 


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