Far from a dying institution, over 95% of people eventually get married. Yes, the divorce rate is close to 40%. Yes, people marry later in life. But if you are a college educated woman over the age of 30, you are extremely likely to find a man who will marry you, cherish you and stay with you for life. You just have to know how to choose wisely. Click below to see how I can help you on your journey to wedded bliss.
Catron does make a valid case – made by Eli Finkel in The All Or Nothing Marriage – that we expect too much from marriage. One person is now supposed to provide what an entire community provided in the past. She’s right. And it’s why choosing the right spouse is literally the most important decision you’ll ever make.
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That describes my marriage entirely. My wife had the same job for 16 years and loved it. Then she got pregnant. She asked for a 3-month maternity leave. Then she asked for a 3-month extension. Then she told her boss she was going on “Eternity Leave.”
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I was going to write more about the six important steps that the author used to make this lifestyle choice work for him, but to me, the existence of such an article is all the proof I need that “open” relationships require WAY too much work for my taste.
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Like political problems, I don’t claim to have the answer, but I know the problem isn’t solved by demonizing one side and ignoring its feelings. Men do need to understand their wives, empathize with their plights, and offer to do more where possible.
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“Passion” is a loaded and subjective word. It usually implies physical passion above all. And yes, for the most part, your physical passion will peak in the first 18 months you’re dating. Real life is how your relationship looks AFTERWARDS – which is why I say not to get married for two to three years.
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If someone could give you an actuarial chart with real numbers, perhaps you’d feel better, but without that, all you have is your imagination and your fears of the worst-case scenario. Since you didn’t mention what this condition is, I couldn’t do further research, so allow me to relate a personal anecdote that I’ve never shared in twelve years of blogging:
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My test for relationship compatibility inside Love U is far simpler: how do you feel in your relationship on a day to day basis, year after year? If it’s good, don’t worry about whether you’re an INTJ or whether he makes as much money as you.
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“Building and sustaining a marriage…typically requires substantial investments of time, attention, patience, and responsiveness, investments that are harder for poorer, less-educated Americans to make. “
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I know it may sound irresponsible to say that given your marriage vows and the fact that I don’t know you. But I have had way too many women turn to me after 25-year marriages just like yours – and ALL of them wish they had the guts to prioritize their happiness sooner.
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When I first launched Love U in 2015, 250 women enrolled. It was an unusually close group and remains one of the highlights of my career because of this dynamic.But as you know, my goal isn’t just to make friends – it’s to change lives.
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He makes me feel special, goes out of his way for me, doesn't keep me guessing about whether I'll hear from him, gives me his full attention.
You provide a reality check and remind me that everyone has doubts and there is no one "normal" response to love and commitment. I think your insight and perspective is incredibly accurate - you seem to understand the plight/perspective of the working, successful urban woman over 30.
I learned so much from Evan’s training and FOCUS Coaching… I was passionate about meeting someone who respected me, honored me, and really loved me…just for me. And, I wanted to feel the same about him. I’m thrilled to say that I found that man.
If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!
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