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Home > Chemistry > Page 5

Chemistry

Passion. Lust. Chemistry. No matter what you call it, it’s one of the most intoxicating forces on the planet. But if you don’t understand how amazing chemistry can actually HURT your long-term relationship chances, you need to read all of the blog posts below.

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(Video) The Illusion of Chemistry

You’ve seen me write about it, but here’s what it sounds like when I do it live. As always, your comments are appreciated.

Read More… 16 comments

(Video) The James Bond Effect – Lust is a Drug

You want a guy who is tall, successful, charismatic, worldly, independent, and sexy. You’ve dated him before. He’s broken your heart, time and again. Why do you always go back…

Read More… 10 comments

Is It Chemistry, Or Is It Love?

I write a lot about this subject, but today’s newsletter got such a strong positive reaction that I decided to post this on the blog for anyone who does not…

Read More… 59 comments

What Do I Do If A Guy Is In Love With Me, But I Don’t Feel As Strongly Yet?

I have met this guy who thinks I hung the moon. He is considerate, calls me everyday, sees me often, shares his thoughts and feelings with me and wants to…

Read More… 52 comments

Passion Vs. Comfort: Do You Have to Have Fireworks to Have a Successful Relationship?

Passion vs. Comfort. This is a post you don’t want to miss, inspired by a discussion on my (500) Days of Summer thread. Here’s the gist of it. Reader Lori…

Read More… 264 comments

What You Can Learn From (500) Days of Summer

The wife and I saw (500) Days of Summer last night before we caught Inglourious Basterds. Very different movies, with very different messages. But since I’m a dating and relationship…

Read More… 59 comments

Is it Okay to Love Someone But Not Be “In Love”?

My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years just put all our plans on hold, including buying a house together and getting married later this year. She says she loves me but…

Read More… 164 comments

Why You SHOULD Hold Out for Magical Chemistry

I’ve spent a lot of time discussing why lust, chemistry, and that “you just know” feeling shouldn’t be the determining factors in your relationship decisions. This writer, Louise Rafkin –…

Read More… 39 comments

A.J. Jacobs on Brain Chemistry and Love in this month’s Esquire

I know the debate about chemistry rages around here, but A.J. Jacobs – a writer who always inserts himself into his own stories – went a step further. He got…

Read More… 2 comments

I Am Not Physically Attracted to My Boyfriend. Can We Possibly Have a Future Together?

Hi Evan, I am in a very tricky situation and don’t know what to do, I found your web site and your advice are great. I hope you will answer…

Read More… 439 comments
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  • "I’m a 38 year old man who has never gotten a date.  People advise me to keep trying … keep falling down and being kicked in the heart by women I thought cared about me … but keep trying, they s…"
    Malcolm on Why Certain Men Will Never Do Well With Women — And What You Can Learn From Them
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  • "Tron, you are conflating so many things.  Women aren't saying that men need them to be doing emotional labour, they're saying they ARE doing it.  They aren't imagining what they're doing, aren't tel…"
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    "Dale and I have been together for two and a half years and will be married in 3 months."

    You provide a reality check and remind me that everyone has doubts and there is no one "normal" response to love and commitment.  I think your insight and perspective is incredibly accurate - you seem to understand the plight/perspective of the working, successful urban woman over 30.

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    "I have read it 10 times already, and keep revisiting it every time I begin to even hint at a moment’s insecurity."

    Brilliant! Once you understand where men are coming from, which I would not have been able to do without the help of "Why He Disappeared," it is very simple!   I have never felt so relaxed around him, he knows this and wants to spend more time with me. His choice!

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    "Now I feel empowered and I am glad to be free of him, to find the one who will love me without question."

    I learned, through reading “Why He Disappeared”, that because of the fact that he did not commit to me, I really didn't want him back. I realized that I needed to find the man who would love me unconditionally for who I am, not for who he wanted me to be.

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    "Thank you, Evan, for enlightening me, having faith in women, and being honest with what 'is'!!"

    The result of giving up the search for “why” is losing the worry, the wringing of the hands, the wondering if he will call, and all the stress and sadness that goes with the worry.

    Julie H.
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