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Chemistry

Passion. Lust. Chemistry. No matter what you call it, it’s one of the most intoxicating forces on the planet. But if you don’t understand how amazing chemistry can actually HURT your long-term relationship chances, you need to read all of the blog posts below.

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Your Man Doesn’t Have To Leave You Breathless

"the one who leaves you breathless" quote by Evan Marc Katz

The longer I do this, the clearer it becomes. What we think we want is often not good for us. What’s good for us is something we often pass up.…

Read More… 64 comments

Why Attracting The Wrong Men Isn’t The Real Problem

This is the second video based on the questions YOU wanted answered in my big survey. Last week, I shared with you the revelation that men are about feelings, not…

Read More… 116 comments

(Video) The Illusion of Chemistry

You’ve seen me write about it, but here’s what it sounds like when I do it live. As always, your comments are appreciated.

Read More… 16 comments

(Video) The James Bond Effect – Lust is a Drug

young man smiling while on his phone

You want a guy who is tall, successful, charismatic, worldly, independent, and sexy. You’ve dated him before. He’s broken your heart, time and again. Why do you always go back…

Read More… 10 comments

Is It Chemistry, Or Is It Love?

young couple on an umbrella, under a bridge

  All you know is that you let him into your heart and fell in love. Or did you? Chemistry. There’s no feeling like it. Your eyes meet, your hands…

Read More… 60 comments

What Do I Do If A Guy Is In Love With Me, But I Don’t Feel As Strongly Yet?

woman holding a bouquet of flowers

I have met this guy who thinks I hung the moon. He is considerate, calls me everyday, sees me often, shares his thoughts and feelings with me and wants to…

Read More… 58 comments

Passion Vs. Comfort: Do You Have to Have Fireworks to Have a Successful Relationship?

romantic couple close together at the beach

Passion vs. Comfort. This is a post you don’t want to miss, inspired by a discussion on my (500) Days of Summer thread. Here’s the gist of it. Reader Lori…

Read More… 266 comments

What You Can Learn From (500) Days of Summer

500 days of summer

The wife and I saw (500) Days of Summer last night before we caught Inglourious Basterds. Very different movies, with very different messages. But since I’m a dating and relationship…

Read More… 59 comments

Is it Okay to Love Someone But Not Be “In Love”?

wife fixing her husband's tie

My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years just put all our plans on hold, including buying a house together and getting married later this year. She says she loves me but…

Read More… 165 comments

Why You SHOULD Hold Out for Magical Chemistry

sweet young couple close together, forehead-to-forehead

I’ve spent a lot of time discussing why lust, chemistry, and that “you just know” feeling shouldn’t be the determining factors in your relationship decisions. This writer, Louise Rafkin –…

Read More… 39 comments
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You Said

  • "Starr, you don't have to tell new guys who you live with. It's none of their business until they get serious with you, anyway. For your protection, don't bring guys you don't know home, and you can…"
    LBCC on If You Believe This, Your Relationship is Doomed.
  • "BBQ, "Why are people trying to be all vigilant about reading all the signs so they never get ghosted?" It's just being observant. If the guy is spacing out the calls, if you are going out once ever…"
    Emily, to on Why Do Men Ghost You (And What to Do About It)
  • "Not an ideal survey but this shows women 150% more likely to ghost than men. https://www.creditloan.com/blog/breaking-down-the-breakup/ My experience is ghosting is the default behavior for women.…"
    Mr_B on Why Do Men Ghost You (And What to Do About It)
  • "Typical. The article is about how rejection hurts men and women. Yet people again say how men how to up their games, but when men ask women to do the same, again it's the mistake of the man. This h…"
    None on Getting Sexually Rejected Sucks for Men and Women
  • "Why are people trying to be all vigilant about reading all the signs so they never get ghosted? Talk about insecurity turning into a complex. If your paying attention to all the little signs your chan…"
    Bbq on Why Do Men Ghost You (And What to Do About It)
  • "Sparkling Emerald, "Personally, after 1-3 dates, pre-sex, pre-relationship, etc. I was fine with ghosting. In fact, I preferred it. I really don’t think anyone owes me an explanation after 1 or 2…"
    Emily, to on Why Do Men Ghost You (And What to Do About It)
  • "That’ll preach.…"
    Trying To Come Out Of Hiding on Why Do Men Ghost You (And What to Do About It)
  • "Personally, after 1-3 dates, pre-sex, pre-relationship, etc. I was fine with ghosting. In fact, I prefered it. I really don't think anyone owes me an explanation after 1 or 2 dates. I don't think I…"
    SparklingEmerald on Why Do Men Ghost You (And What to Do About It)

Happy ClientsHappy Clients

  • Carol H.

    "Hang in there if you are feeling despair — if this 60 year old English professor can find love, I suspect you can too!"

    I know so much more about men and how they think, and because I have a man in my life who is worth my time and effort, I have a confidence in myself that I never had before, too.

    Carol H.
  • Ali G. (soon to be Ali S!)

    "I'm in love, getting married and hopefully starting a family soon.  I couldn't be any happier."

    You didn't always tell me what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear.  You were honest with me even when I didn't like it.  You put a mirror to my face...no one enjoys that but it's important if you really want to make a change and find the real thing.

    Ali G. (soon to be Ali S!)
  • Kim M.

    "Now I feel empowered and I am glad to be free of him, to find the one who will love me without question."

    I learned, through reading “Why He Disappeared”, that because of the fact that he did not commit to me, I really didn't want him back. I realized that I needed to find the man who would love me unconditionally for who I am, not for who he wanted me to be.

    Kim M.

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

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  • Recent Posts

    • If You Believe This, Your Relationship is Doomed.
    • Why Do Men Ghost You (And What to Do About It)
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