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Chemistry

Passion. Lust. Chemistry. No matter what you call it, it’s one of the most intoxicating forces on the planet. But if you don’t understand how amazing chemistry can actually HURT your long-term relationship chances, you need to read all of the blog posts below.

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Why Attracting The Wrong Men Isn’t The Real Problem

This is the second video based on the questions YOU wanted answered in my big survey. Last week, I shared with you the revelation that men are about feelings, not…

Read More… 116 comments

(Video) The Illusion of Chemistry

You’ve seen me write about it, but here’s what it sounds like when I do it live. As always, your comments are appreciated.

Read More… 16 comments

(Video) The James Bond Effect – Lust is a Drug

You want a guy who is tall, successful, charismatic, worldly, independent, and sexy. You’ve dated him before. He’s broken your heart, time and again. Why do you always go back…

Read More… 10 comments

Is It Chemistry, Or Is It Love?

I write a lot about this subject, but today’s newsletter got such a strong positive reaction that I decided to post this on the blog for anyone who does not…

Read More… 60 comments

What Do I Do If A Guy Is In Love With Me, But I Don’t Feel As Strongly Yet?

I have met this guy who thinks I hung the moon. He is considerate, calls me everyday, sees me often, shares his thoughts and feelings with me and wants to…

Read More… 57 comments

Passion Vs. Comfort: Do You Have to Have Fireworks to Have a Successful Relationship?

Passion vs. Comfort. This is a post you don’t want to miss, inspired by a discussion on my (500) Days of Summer thread. Here’s the gist of it. Reader Lori…

Read More… 265 comments

What You Can Learn From (500) Days of Summer

The wife and I saw (500) Days of Summer last night before we caught Inglourious Basterds. Very different movies, with very different messages. But since I’m a dating and relationship…

Read More… 59 comments

Is it Okay to Love Someone But Not Be “In Love”?

My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years just put all our plans on hold, including buying a house together and getting married later this year. She says she loves me but…

Read More… 165 comments

Why You SHOULD Hold Out for Magical Chemistry

I’ve spent a lot of time discussing why lust, chemistry, and that “you just know” feeling shouldn’t be the determining factors in your relationship decisions. This writer, Louise Rafkin –…

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A.J. Jacobs on Brain Chemistry and Love in this month’s Esquire

I know the debate about chemistry rages around here, but A.J. Jacobs – a writer who always inserts himself into his own stories – went a step further. He got…

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You Said

  • "It depends on if he finds you attractive and how you make contact first. Personally I always have good chemistry with the men I choose. Whereas the men who have pursued me the hardest have been duds.…"
    Avi on Should Women Write to Men?
  • "Ok so I have super cute photos that don’t show too much (i actually wear sunglasses and fairly modest in the full body, but still make me look extremely flirty and sensual and show off my legs) so…"
    Avi on Should Women Write to Men?
  • "So you say...…"
    Avi on If You Want to Date A Confident Leader, You Have to Let Him Lead
  • "BBQ,So women who prefer strong, confident men who can make their own decisions and know how to properly court their dates are acting out a "confused teenage fantasy", are we?Maybe we just pr…"
    Jenn on I’ve Made A Million Mistakes and My Boyfriend Is Still Here. What Now?
  • "Shaukat,Seriously, you're going to bring up my virginity AGAIN? That's your argument against everything I say whenever I comment here: I haven't had sex, so none of my experiences in dating don't…"
    Jenn on I’ve Made A Million Mistakes and My Boyfriend Is Still Here. What Now?
  • ""BBQ, the funny irony is that I know more about wolves than, evidently, many commenters here. But there is one woman who may know as much or more, " (gonna assume your talking about Sylvana)The po…"
    BBQ on I’ve Made A Million Mistakes and My Boyfriend Is Still Here. What Now?
  • "@AlexandraIf your husband is a type 2 diabetic, you should have his testosterone levels checked (total and free). Low testosterone is a reason why many men lose the vitality they once possessed.…"
    Yet Another Guy on How It Feels When Your Man Doesn’t Desire You
  • "@ezamuzedSarah definitely did the post-menopause spread in a big way, but Dominik Heinrici is not exactly a looker. He is an average looking guy with an ectomorphish build. If he was a stud muff…"
    Yet Another Guy on How It Feels When Your Man Doesn’t Desire You

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  • Heather J.

    "Seriously…everything you described would happen, happened!"

    He emailed me, he called me, he asked for a date, he called back, he contacts me everyday, he took down his profile first, he stopped dating the other women he was dating and asked me to “date exclusively” because he wants to focus on getting to know me better. All I did was say yes.

    Heather J.
  • Carol H.

    "Hang in there if you are feeling despair — if this 60 year old English professor can find love, I suspect you can too!"

    I know so much more about men and how they think, and because I have a man in my life who is worth my time and effort, I have a confidence in myself that I never had before, too.

    Carol H.
  • Sahaja P.

    "I finally know what it’s like to be relaxed in a relationship. I can only thank you and the women of the Inner Circle."

    You always did tell it like it is. I have to say thank you for believing in me, and giving me confidence I didn’t know I had. Thank you for seeing that there was something to be seen in me, that I didn’t even know existed.

    Sahaja P.

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

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