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Understanding Men

I don’t speak for all men. But I try to speak for the most desirable ones: smart, successful, confident, driven, honest, experienced, sensitive, and marriage-oriented. If you want to be in a relationship with a man like that, please read every single post below to get a better sense of how we think. Knowledge is power.

About The BLOG

Find out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women.

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The Reason It’s So Hard to Find a Quality Man is THIS…

You’re a catch. You look good for your age. You’ve got a big heart. You know you’re an awesome girlfriend. Despite all that, you’re frustrated by your inability to find…

Read More… 7 comments

My Boyfriend Expressed Doubts When Asking Me to Be His Girlfriend. Should I Worry?

I came across your blog when I first started online dating a few years ago in New York and your advice has helped me navigate the modern dating scene. I’ve…

Read More… 545 comments

I’m a Little Lonely. Most Men Are REALLY Lonely.

If I stop and think about it, it makes me sad. So I try not to think about it. In high school, I had three best guy friends. We loved…

Read More… 135 comments

Doing the Best I Can – Why Fathers Leave Their Children

You know there are three sides to every story – your side, his side, and the truth. Yet, despite that knowledge and awareness, we  act like this is not true. People…

Read More… 95 comments

Is Online Dating Safe?

If I told you that 464 Americans  died doing something in 2013, you’d be alarmed. You know, intellectually, that 464 is a drop in the bucket in a country of 350…

Read More… 130 comments

I’m in Love with My Boyfriend of 16 Months But He’s Not There Yet. Will He Ever Love Me?

I’m a great admirer of your insight. I’ve read Believe in Love and Why He Disappeared, which helped me get through a tough period after my last relationship ended. We…

Read More… 137 comments

Can A Non-Relationship Relationship Ever Work?

Do you recommend the non-relationship relationship? I’ve read nothing but bad things about this in regards to women, but I’m finding it works for me…especially if one is busy with…

Read More… 15 comments

How Can I Turn Drinks into Dinner Without Scaring Guys Off?

I’ve been reading your blog for about two years now and your book ‘Why He Disappeared‘ really helped me get over a failed relationship. Thank you! I have been dating…

Read More… 515 comments

Why Do Boys and Girls Act Different?

This first person article by Jill Carlin Schrager (coincidentally, the sister of a close childhood friend) found its way into my inbox and was an honest, heart-wrenching read. It was…

Read More… 53 comments

(Video) 4 Men Break Negative Stereotypes About Fathers

I met Ramona Wright at a party 8 years ago and was immediately impressed – not just with her beauty, but with her fierce intelligence and curiosity. She’s a Facebook…

Read More… 110 comments
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Search my Date-A-Base

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

ASK EVAN: ask me a dating question.

You Said

  • "Hi Clare,As a guy, I can see where Shaukat is coming from. I do think that in general, our gender tends to chafe at that all-pervasive viewpoint that in the dating world, men are the ones audition…"
    Mike on What Do I Do If I’m Not Attracted to Any Men?
  • "Tim,I don't think it is all about "looks" though. It isn't even about money or career. It often is about something else that has nothing to do with those things. You ever see a guy who doesn't see…"
    Mike on Why Are There No Attractive Men in Your Area
  • "Ames: "Good news is most men seem unattractive because they don’t know how/care to put effort into being more attractive. Westerners in general prioritize comfort over attractiveness in clothing, bu…"
    Lynx on Why Are There No Attractive Men in Your Area
  • "Ames - so true. If there is any objective difference in attractiveness between the sexes, it's largely due to different expectations in terms of grooming and dress. You can see this difference in most…"
    jo on Why Are There No Attractive Men in Your Area
  • "You make a good point i wished i had read before making a previous comment.…"
    MrSteve on Where Do You Draw The Line When Your Girlfriend Asks For Money?
  • "i have and fixing to be departed from a similar situation with a younger woman who will be homeless if i stop helping her unless shes really an undercover cop. And at this point im not sure which is…"
    MrSteve on Where Do You Draw The Line When Your Girlfriend Asks For Money?
  • "I do not know a single woman who was dumped after being seen without makeup. Sorry, but if you cannot tell the difference between theatrical and everyday makeup, you need to learn. However, ligh…"
    Sandra on Why Are There No Attractive Men in Your Area
  • "Juicy topic. Women tend to be more attractive than men for two reasons: 1. Looks are paramount to men so unattractive women get weeded out of the gene pool in greater numbers. Compare how many bald wo…"
    Ames on Why Are There No Attractive Men in Your Area

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Happy ClientsHappy Clients

  • Karen M.

    "I have read it 10 times already, and keep revisiting it every time I begin to even hint at a moment’s insecurity."

    Brilliant! Once you understand where men are coming from, which I would not have been able to do without the help of "Why He Disappeared," it is very simple!   I have never felt so relaxed around him, he knows this and wants to spend more time with me. His choice!

    Karen M.
  • Carol A.

    "Since working with you, I am happy, content, less anxious, more compassionate, more understanding, more patient, loving."

    I learned from you something revelatory: men want to make women happy.  Sometimes they don’t know how to do that, but my boyfriend really wants to make me happy…

    Carol A.
  • Ann S.

    “Without your help, I never could have imagined that I could be in a relationship like this one.”

    I'm in my 60's and expected that I would not have a committed relationship again. I'm still dealing with issues internally of fear and past experiences, as is he. But we can talk about these things and know that we have something special.

    Ann S.

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

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