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Understanding Men

I don’t speak for all men. But I try to speak for the most desirable ones: smart, successful, confident, driven, honest, experienced, sensitive, and marriage-oriented. If you want to be in a relationship with a man like that, please read every single post below to get a better sense of how we think. Knowledge is power.

About The BLOG

Find out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women.

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Women Have Mixed Emotions About Achieving Income Equality with Men

Income Equality

If it ever sounds like I’m beating the same drum over and over, that’s because every year it seems there is new research that validates conclusions drawn by this blog over the years.

Read More… 56 comments

I’m Still Thinking About the Guy Who Ghosted Me

lonely girl ghosted by her boyfriend

So, I was dating a guy for two months and things were going pretty great in my opinion! However, he started to do the slow fade after spending the night (no sex). I recognized what this was early on, and just let it be!

Read More… 23 comments

What It Means to Be a Man – According to Men

men shop

FiveThirtyEight and WNYC partnered with SurveyMonkey for a nationwide survey of 1,615 adults who identify as men. We asked respondents to reflect on their ideas of masculinity, workplace culture and intimacy, among other things.

Read More… 108 comments

The Difference Between Beauty and Hotness

multicultural group of women after work drinking cocktails in bar

Bret Weinstein  (@BretWeinstein) and  Heather Heying  (HeatherEHeying) are husband and wife evolutionary biologists and former professors at Evergreen State College. He was fired from his position for having the temerity to question the…

Read More… 93 comments

Renew Breakup Bootcamp Heals Your Past. But What About Your Future?

Should I Have a Long-Distance Relationship with a Man in Another Country?

“Among other attempts at self-healing, I have tried: casual sex, dating apps, uppers, downers, day drinking, and sobriety. I also tried somatic healing, boxing, Buddhist meditation, Ayahuasca and finally, because…

Read More… 8 comments

My Fiancé Controls All of My Money and I Feel Trapped

married couple problems

  My fiance and I have been together for three years. About 2 years ago, I quit my job to work with my fiance and his business. Things were decent,…

Read More… 15 comments

Are You Doing These 9 Things Wrong in Your Relationship?

I Got Too Excited About a New Guy and Scared Him Off!

Thursday posts are always links to other articles and while I tend to lean on first-person stories or scientific reports written up in mainstream publications, every once in awhile, I’ll…

Read More… 44 comments

Why Can’t Men Refrain from Looking at Photos of Sexy Women and Fantasizing?

woman getting angry with her man who is watching porn

I read your article about why men look at other women and tried to get my head around it. I understand the whole cavemen instinct, but what I don’t understand…

Read More… 103 comments

Freezing Your Eggs Doesn’t Always Work Out

Nurse assisting with egg retrieval procedure in theatre

Every so often, I receive an application from a woman who wants private coaching who is torn: invest into finding lasting love or freeze her eggs to potentially have children.…

Read More… 230 comments

Why Did He Act Excited About Me If He Didn’t Want to Be My Boyfriend?

Why Did He Act Excited About Me If He Didn’t Want to Be My Boyfriend?

I am a 44-year old, highly educated woman who can say that throughout my life I have been able to quasi-understand and respect men and their behaviors. However, I started…

Read More… 110 comments
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You Said

  • "Starr, you don't have to tell new guys who you live with. It's none of their business until they get serious with you, anyway. For your protection, don't bring guys you don't know home, and you can…"
    LBCC on If You Believe This, Your Relationship is Doomed.
  • "BBQ, "Why are people trying to be all vigilant about reading all the signs so they never get ghosted?" It's just being observant. If the guy is spacing out the calls, if you are going out once ever…"
    Emily, to on Why Do Men Ghost You (And What to Do About It)
  • "Not an ideal survey but this shows women 150% more likely to ghost than men. https://www.creditloan.com/blog/breaking-down-the-breakup/ My experience is ghosting is the default behavior for women.…"
    Mr_B on Why Do Men Ghost You (And What to Do About It)
  • "Typical. The article is about how rejection hurts men and women. Yet people again say how men how to up their games, but when men ask women to do the same, again it's the mistake of the man. This h…"
    None on Getting Sexually Rejected Sucks for Men and Women
  • "Why are people trying to be all vigilant about reading all the signs so they never get ghosted? Talk about insecurity turning into a complex. If your paying attention to all the little signs your chan…"
    Bbq on Why Do Men Ghost You (And What to Do About It)
  • "Sparkling Emerald, "Personally, after 1-3 dates, pre-sex, pre-relationship, etc. I was fine with ghosting. In fact, I preferred it. I really don’t think anyone owes me an explanation after 1 or 2…"
    Emily, to on Why Do Men Ghost You (And What to Do About It)
  • "That’ll preach.…"
    Trying To Come Out Of Hiding on Why Do Men Ghost You (And What to Do About It)
  • "Personally, after 1-3 dates, pre-sex, pre-relationship, etc. I was fine with ghosting. In fact, I prefered it. I really don't think anyone owes me an explanation after 1 or 2 dates. I don't think I…"
    SparklingEmerald on Why Do Men Ghost You (And What to Do About It)

Happy ClientsHappy Clients

  • Connie D.

    "Give the guy a chance to prove he might have what you need for a satisfying relationship."

    I am a firm believer in dating at least 4 seasons and we are already in our 3rd season of love. We have discussed marriage and will revisit the idea this October.

    Connie D.
  • Ali G. (soon to be Ali S!)

    "I'm in love, getting married and hopefully starting a family soon.  I couldn't be any happier."

    You didn't always tell me what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear.  You were honest with me even when I didn't like it.  You put a mirror to my face...no one enjoys that but it's important if you really want to make a change and find the real thing.

    Ali G. (soon to be Ali S!)
  • Rachel E.

    "Thank you Evan for your training. In less than one year, I met my fiancé online!"

    I learned so much from Evan’s training and FOCUS Coaching… I was passionate about meeting someone who respected me, honored me, and really loved me…just for me. And, I wanted to feel the same about him. I’m thrilled to say that I found that man.

    Rachel E.

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

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  • Recent Posts

    • If You Believe This, Your Relationship is Doomed.
    • Why Do Men Ghost You (And What to Do About It)
    • Do You Find You’re Attracted To The Wrong Men?
    • An Interview with Evan Marc Katz on Meghan Daum’s Unspeakable Podcast
    • Do You Act Like You’re Fine Being Alone?
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