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Home > Understanding Men

Understanding Men

I don’t speak for all men. But I try to speak for the most desirable ones: smart, successful, confident, driven, honest, experienced, sensitive, and marriage-oriented. If you want to be in a relationship with a man like that, please read every single post below to get a better sense of how we think. Knowledge is power.

About The BLOG

Find out what my blog can do for you, and what type of man becomes a dating coach for women.

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What It Means to Be a Man – According to Men

men shop

FiveThirtyEight and WNYC partnered with SurveyMonkey for a nationwide survey of 1,615 adults who identify as men. We asked respondents to reflect on their ideas of masculinity, workplace culture and intimacy, among other things.

Read More… 108 comments

The Difference Between Beauty and Hotness

multicultural group of women after work drinking cocktails in bar

Bret Weinstein  (@BretWeinstein) and  Heather Heying  (HeatherEHeying) are husband and wife evolutionary biologists and former professors at Evergreen State College. He was fired from his position for having the temerity to question the…

Read More… 93 comments

Renew Breakup Bootcamp Heals Your Past. But What About Your Future?

Should I Have a Long-Distance Relationship with a Man in Another Country?

“Among other attempts at self-healing, I have tried: casual sex, dating apps, uppers, downers, day drinking, and sobriety. I also tried somatic healing, boxing, Buddhist meditation, Ayahuasca and finally, because…

Read More… 8 comments

My Fiancé Controls All of My Money and I Feel Trapped

married couple problems

  My fiance and I have been together for three years. About 2 years ago, I quit my job to work with my fiance and his business. Things were decent,…

Read More… 15 comments

Are You Doing These 9 Things Wrong in Your Relationship?

I Got Too Excited About a New Guy and Scared Him Off!

Thursday posts are always links to other articles and while I tend to lean on first-person stories or scientific reports written up in mainstream publications, every once in awhile, I’ll…

Read More… 44 comments

Why Can’t Men Refrain from Looking at Photos of Sexy Women and Fantasizing?

woman getting angry with her man who is watching porn

I read your article about why men look at other women and tried to get my head around it. I understand the whole cavemen instinct, but what I don’t understand…

Read More… 96 comments

Freezing Your Eggs Doesn’t Always Work Out

Nurse assisting with egg retrieval procedure in theatre

Every so often, I receive an application from a woman who wants private coaching who is torn: invest into finding lasting love or freeze her eggs to potentially have children.…

Read More… 230 comments

Why Did He Act Excited About Me If He Didn’t Want to Be My Boyfriend?

Why Did He Act Excited About Me If He Didn’t Want to Be My Boyfriend?

I am a 44-year old, highly educated woman who can say that throughout my life I have been able to quasi-understand and respect men and their behaviors. However, I started…

Read More… 110 comments

Sex. Relationships. Infidelity. Communication. Marriage. All in One Place.

happy married couple living a happy life

As much as I like to think of this site as a one-stop shop for women who want to understand men and find love, I hope it’s clear that I’m…

Read More… 1 comment

How Can I Be Sure I’m Not His Second Choice?

I Don’t Make Money and I’m Worried That Men Will Judge Me For It

I’m engaged to a man I dated for over 5 years (we wanted to finish school first). I have no doubt that I want to spend my life with him.…

Read More… 76 comments
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Search my Date-A-Base

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

ASK EVAN: ask me a dating question.

You Said

  • "Emily, to This may be an etiquette rule that’s generational because it definitely isn’t true of around the millennial generation. It’s inevitable those kind of “chivalrous” signals fade a…"
    Bbq on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "Buck25 Truth. My large county has had only 8 cases thus far for which I am exceedingly grateful. The very small county I just left in Colorado had at least 10x that many. I have male friends that h…"
    Noquay on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "This isn't true of online dating because it's obvious dating is the intention, but if a guy a woman knows as an acquaintance or maybe a friend asks her to do something for the first time one-on-one an…"
    Emily, to on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "1000%. Someone being 15 minutes late AND actually letting you know they are late, or going to be late is fine. Showing up WHENEVER you feel like with no excuse and just assuming I have nothing better…"
    Lisel on My Boyfriend is Habitually Late and I’m Sick of It!
  • "so agree with De Elle - to give out publicly such a raw and vulnerable content is amazing! in our relationship, the overlapping issue is sex, but not him wanting more from me, but me wanting, and…"
    egle on How You Can Get Closer To Your Boyfriend After A Fight
  • "Jo, you've offered an anecdote, and I don't doubt your own experiences. But I can counteract it with my own: the best partners I had (grounded, considerate, generous, etc) were the women who offered a…"
    shaukat on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "I think we generally agree dude, just pointing to some of the issues that arise when someone holds such a rigid stance on this issue. I think there is some room for nuance here, that's all.…"
    shaukat on How to Have a GREAT First Date
  • "Evan Marc Katz I listen I just don’t agree. I didn’t convince you either now did I? It’s alright matey, some topics are just sticking points.…"
    Bbq on How to Have a GREAT First Date

Explore The Blog

Click Below to Learn About

  • The Love U Podcast
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  • Chemistry
  • Understanding Men
  • Communication
  • Flirting
  • Online Dating
  • Cheating
  • Letting Go
  • Sex
  • Marriage

Happy ClientsHappy Clients

  • Ali G. (soon to be Ali S!)

    "I'm in love, getting married and hopefully starting a family soon.  I couldn't be any happier."

    You didn't always tell me what I wanted to hear, but what I needed to hear.  You were honest with me even when I didn't like it.  You put a mirror to my face...no one enjoys that but it's important if you really want to make a change and find the real thing.

    Ali G. (soon to be Ali S!)
  • Rett R.

    "I am so happy because I met Mr. Right!"

    To make a long story short, I am so happy because I met Mr. Right.   He possessed the 3 important requirements that fit my need: chemistry, compatibility, and emotionally and physically attraction.   We are committed and our relationship is going on strong for three years now.

    Rett R.
  • Heather J.

    "Seriously…everything you described would happen, happened!"

    He emailed me, he called me, he asked for a date, he called back, he contacts me everyday, he took down his profile first, he stopped dating the other women he was dating and asked me to “date exclusively” because he wants to focus on getting to know me better. All I did was say yes.

    Heather J.

Have a Dating Question? Search My Date-A-Base.

If you’re looking to answer your most pressing dating and relationship question, my blog is like Google for your love life!

Just type your one-line question into the search box below to see my answer.

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  • Recent Posts

    • How You Can Get Closer To Your Boyfriend After A Fight
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    • How to Have a GREAT First Date
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