What are the signs that someone’s desire for exclusivity is really about YOU, rather than about a need to control?

I’ve been casually dating for three years since my divorce, and have had my share of all the various issues that most of your readers have experienced. The newest guy has his share of initial red flags flying. Continue Reading »

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Today, I want to share a funny experiment you can try.

Next time you go to a party where you don’t know anybody, tell people you’re a dating coach.

Seriously. I think you’ll find that people react to you in one of two ways:

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I’ve been dating a guy for two years now. We currently live on opposite coasts (I’m in graduate school, he’s a professor), but we manage to see each other relatively frequently. We’ve had our share of problems, mainly due to past bad relationship experiences, but also because we have very different ways of relating. I’m very passionate, though I try not to let my emotions have too powerful an effect on my actions, something I learned, in part, from him. He is dispassionate and sometimes almost cold. He’s been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which has obviously had a significant effect on how he interacts with people. He’s very controlled, all the time, and when he does get deeply depressed, he hides it from pretty much everyone (though not me).

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If you’re reading this, you’re probably a single woman who is offended by the mere title of Lori Gottlieb’s new book, “Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough.”

And if “settling” was what this book was about, I wouldn’t blame you one bit. Continue Reading »

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A quick but powerful video today. Not my strongest performance, as my delightful former client, Carol, handed me this list during my presentation to remind me to say this. She said she keeps it on her fridge. I would suggest that you do, too. A tattoo would probably be a bit too strong of a message. Your thoughts, as always, are appreciated.

Dear Evan,

I threw myself into my career for 25 years and didn’t date until I was 48 when I met a wonderful man that I fell deeply in love with. We had a wonderful 2½ year committed relationship and then he cheated on me. I found out because the woman kept calling the house at all hours of the day and night. When I found out, I was crushed and walked out the door. Continue Reading »

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One of my favorite concepts – taken directly from Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People” – illustrates how, just by paying attention to a woman’s needs, a man can magically get a second date EVERY single time. Enjoy.

Evan,

I have a hell of a relationship conundrum and need some no-BS advice. I recently met a girl via match.com. We’ve dated for 5 weeks and we’re basically gf-bf. She’s a great gal, ideal companion, affectionate, great conversationalist, and fun to be around.

I really can’t say enough about her, except for one thing. The one thing is that the sex is awful. Not mediocre, not so-so, but awful. The crux of it is that she doesn’t have orgasms at all. I strongly believe it’s psychological and not an issue with me. My primary piece of evidence here is that she’s stated her inability to climax has been universal with all her partners (FYI, she’s in her thirties).

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You’ve seen me write about it, but here’s what it sounds like when I do it live. As always, your comments are appreciated.

This is a question that is a response to ‘My Girlfriend Wants to Get More Sexual “Experience” Before Getting Engaged. What Should I Do?’ My question is coming from the standpoint as the girlfriend. I am 24 and my boyfriend is 28. We have been together for 8 months and he has told me over and over how much he loves me and knows I am the one for him. I feel very much the same about him. We get along great and love each other very much. Recently, he decided to tell me how many people he had sex with before me. I did not ask the question, as I think it’s best not to know. Continue Reading »

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