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Mar29
I take my job as your personal trainer for love very seriously.
I try to honor and respect every woman who reads my emails and offer advice that is honest but not too brutal.
But I have to admit, from time to time, I get an email that makes me roll my eyes.
The most recent one was as mercifully short as it was inane. All it said was this: Continue Reading »
Mar19
Hi Evan. I love, love, love your blog! You have some really saucy, right-to-the-point advice. I’ve combed through many a blog post. Now, here’s a question for you: I find the topic of expressing “I love you” on my mind a lot, lately. I’m dating a wonderful man of 4.5 months, who’s exhibited suburb “boyfriend behavior.” We see each other 3 times a week. I’ve met his family and he’s met mine. He brings me flowers when I’ve had an awful day, and shows me support when it counts. But… he has yet to say “I love you.” I know it’s a bit soon to say the words, but it got me thinking: do men need to hear I love you from the ladies they’re with? Do they even care? I have a feeling that men aren’t sitting around chatting with their buddies about the topic: “Bob, it’s been 4 months and no I love you’s yet! What gives?! Does she love me or is she scared of commitment?” What I’d like to know is this: do men say “I love you” to us because they know we like to hear it (and of course, they should mean it), or do they place any importance on those 3 words? Do men sit in angst, wondering when the “I love you’s” will come, or do they just get around to saying it because they know it’s a requirement for us. Thoughts? –Tanya Continue Reading »
Mar15
I spoke with my client, Jessica, the other day, for our weekly coaching session.
When we started on the 8-week Passion Course, Jessica was despondent.
Actually, she was past despondent. She was MISERABLE.
She had just come off of a first online date in which she learned that the man was a former felon (or, as she calls him: “a murderer”). Continue Reading »
Feb27
Evan, I know you get a lot of really heavy questions, but I have a simple, light-hearted question for you. Should I grow my hair out? I’m 51 and have some gray, but not a lot. I recently added highlights to help blend in the gray. My hair is currently a shoulder-length bob. I have a great stylist and the cut is very flattering, but I wonder if longer hair would be more appealing to men. –Liz
Liz,
Since there are so many people (and women’s magazines) who think that dating coaching is all about the physical, I tend to shy away from topics like this. Isn’t there enough societal reinforcement to remind you what men find attractive?
And aren’t there enough exceptions to these rules to prove that you can still find your partner even if you don’t listen to Cosmo? Continue Reading »
Jan30
I seem to have the opposite problem of most of the women in your blog when it comes to online dating – too much of a good thing! I get a fair number of interesting replies and first messages and there are two things I’m struggling with. First, is there an acceptable way to say, “My dance card is pretty full right now, but I’ll get back to you in a few weeks if none of those dates go further?” I can’t think of a good way to phrase this that doesn’t sound like the guy is “second choice” or a backup option – and usually he is a perfectly interesting and attractive person, not a second choice at all, but I don’t want to be in the situation of having three different dates every week and having to draw up a spreadsheet to keep track of them all! At the same time, changing my profile status to “seeing someone” every time I go on a second date seems like overkill. Continue Reading »
Jan09
Evan, I have a common problem that you’ve responded to lots of times: I fooled myself into thinking that my friend of 10 years had feelings for me, and when I mustered up the nerve to tell him, I was shot down. I thought I had read the signs right. We talked almost every day, he told me I was hot, he told me that he fantasized about me, and we went traveling together. He never actually made a move on me though. Now that I know my feelings are not returned, I’ve cut him out of my life so that I can move on and find someone who truly does love me. I have to admit though, that this whole experience has left me scarred. I was wondering if you could explain how to avoid a situation like this in the future. Do men always ask out a woman they’re immediately interested in? Does love never grow over time? Does the romantic story of “When Harry Met Sally” really just exist in the movies? –Angelina Continue Reading »
Jan05
Let me tell you a true story about Alice, a member of my Inner Circle.
But before I tell you about it, I want to share a little bit about Alice.
In her mid 30’s, very attractive, intelligent but not intimidating. Alice is a good person and a good catch.
The two things that she doesn’t trust? Men, and herself when she’s around men.
Thus, Alice never has trouble attracting guys; her trouble is in keeping them. Continue Reading »
Dec15
Paul is 41-years-old, never married, but it’s not obvious why. He’s cute and boyish. He’s charming and successful. He’s fun to be around and is well-liked by strangers. Most importantly, Paul knows how to treat a woman – he’s interested, he listens, and he’s infinitely patient. Paul undoubtedly has good husband potential.
Unfortunately, Paul’s radar for picking women is a little off. He’s constantly drawn to the holy trinity of youth, beauty and intelligence. Continue Reading »
Dec05
Evan, I’ve been reading your blog for a while and I like your dating advice because it’s been quantitative and specific (rather than vague and unclear like most of the). However there is one issue I’ve never seen addressed on this site (or any other for that matter).
Suppose you had treatment-resistant depression (or any chronic mental illness), assuming that you had been going the medication-and-therapy route for years to no avail, and that you were doing all you could to help yourself in your condition, but that you were just not able to function on the same level as a healthy person (i.e., too unstable to keep a job, on social assistance, disability status, etc.). Assume also that you had had this condition your entire adult life and did not expect to get better any time soon–unless there was a significant breakthrough in the field of antidepressants or therapy techniques. How would you go about dating or finding love? Continue Reading »
Dec01
As you know, before I was a dating coach, I went on a LOT of dates.
And although I always considered myself confident, interesting, and thoughtful, I sometimes did things on dates that would make any woman question that claim.
I have no explanation for my actions. All I want to observe is that, despite my best intentions, I’m apparently a flawed, clueless and stupid man.
After all, I once… Continue Reading »
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